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Bad News: Talk about an injustice. Not only did scumbag priest "Father Jeff" get to molest one of the hottest men alive, CNN Headline News' Thomas Roberts, now he's being allowed to serve the remainder of his jail sentence in home detention. Baltimore County Circuit Judge John G. Turnbull II should be ashamed of himself for allowing this and for revictimizing Roberts and the other man Father Jeff was convicted of molesting. Besides, I don't know about you, but I'd be willing to do a considerable amount of time in the clink for a crack at that anchorlicious body. (BaltimoreSun)

It Depends on Your Definition of 'Fag': Linebacker Joey Porter of the Pittsburgh Steelers "apologized" Tuesday for twice calling Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow a fag -- sort of. He didn't apologize to Winslow -- and the people to whom he did? You decide: "I guess how we used that word freely, me growing up using it, I didn't think nothing of it like that," Porter said. "Like I said, I apologize to anybody I offended on it. I didn't mean to offend nobody but Kellen Winslow. Pretty much, that's it about that." Where's my mom to say, "You don't sound like you're sorry" when you need her? (PPG)

Fill in the Jerri Blank: Funny lady Amy Sedaris knows how to party. Do you? (People)

Mad for Brad: Adoption trendsetter Angelina "I tried not to steal Jen's 'best friend'" Jolie has finally come forward to explain her homewrecking ways on the set of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," but is a mea culpa for falling in love with Brad Pitt really necessary? The New York Post headline "Angelina: How I fell in love with Brad Pitt" can only generate one response: "Gee, it must have been so hard, Angie." (NYP)

Incorrect Spelling: Why has Tori Spelling gone from nauseating in "Troop Beverly Hills on "Beverly Hills 90210" to fun indie-chick rebel in during her "Trick" and "The House of Yes," to even more nauseating than she was in the very beginning? (People)

Travel-Size Oscar: What were the best hotels of 2006? The ones with the best toiletries, of course! (NYT)

Master Cleanse: Has anyone ever tried that infamous celebrity diet that requires subsisting for 10 or more days solely on an elixir of fresh-squeezed lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water? (NYT)

When Irish Eyes Are Singing: It seems my guy Ed Burns recently unveiled band the Blue Jackets the other night, at a first-public-performance at The Cutting Room. Chris Martin of Coldplay showed up along with Danish model Helena Christensen and Michael (R.E.M.) Stipe. Burns' music was described as "everyday rock" and compared favorably to the Rolling Stones. Let the stalking begin. (NYP)

Love & Forgiveness: Singer Courtney Love has had her probation on drug and assault charges brought to an early end. Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Rand Rubin told a tearful Love she had earned it by having drug treatment. Her probation had been due to expire next month in the two drug cases and in 2008 for an assault against a woman. All three cases were dismissed. Love told the judge: "Thank you for giving me an opportunity. You've been a good, fair judge. Sorry for crying." I'm sure looking forward to her next album. (BBC)

Dr. Crackpot Says: Did you know that it was soy that made you so gay? (WorldNetDaily)

Dealer's Choice: I can finally breathe again -- Andy Roddick and Mandy Moore have "reunited" -- at least for his poker-game benefit. He thinks they're "cool" these days, but her body language tells a different story, no? (People)