Page 1 Consider (10/16)

Return of the 'Runaway Bride': That bugeyed freak Jennifer Wildebeest Wilbanks is back in the spotlight -- and it doesn't look like running had anything to do with it this time. (NYP)

Diary of a Mad Mom: I just finished reading Augusten Burroughs' "Running With Scissors." The movie's just about to come out and looks really well done. (NYP)

Westchester County Blue: The tackiness never ends over at the Pirro house. First Jeanine flaps her big mouth all over town that she thinks her husband, Al, is having an affair with his accountant's wife, now Al is flapping his big mouth to New York magazine about how he blames Jeanine for his cheating 'cause he wasn't getting enough attention at home. "You're reading in the paper that your spouse was asked whether she loves you or not, and she says, 'I love my family.' How would you feel?" Pirro grouses, referring to the confession Jeanine gave The N.Y. Post during the summer. Jesus Christ, people -- "Being Bobby Brown" was already shot and you two weren't the stars. (NYP)

Papa Don't Preach: Wow! It seems the only person who's a bigger publicity whore than Madonna is the father of the son she's supposedly adopting in Malawi. Sounds like Ms. Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie has finally met her match. (Reuters)

NLCS Nailbiter: Well, the Detroit Tigers are into the World Series -- but the highly favored Mets aren't having such an easy time. Last night they were looking sharp again, defeating the Cardinals 12-5 to even the series up at 2-2. David Wright (finally) hit his first homer -- let's keep it going, guys ... (AP)

Service This: So it's bad enough that the people who work in stores are completely rude or useless, but I find these "self-serve checkout" kiosks to be even more upsetting. I'm supposed to work at these I shop in for now pay now, too? Well it turns out there's a name for this trend: the IKEA syndrome. And even Sweden is rethinking. (Newsweek)

Farewell, CBGB: The letters stood for country, bluegrass and blues, but it was the '70s punk scene that made it world famous. Now CBGB's is history. (AP)

McSteamy: Before you go beating yourself up for not having Eric Danes' washboard abs, you might find it informative to know that he actually knew about his towel-clad scene four months before it was shot. "I don't want to say I've been doing 1,000 crunches a day and then going to the gym for four hours, because I haven't," he explained. "But I did have more time to train." Oh, never mind -- go ahead and hate yourself. I'm sure that's what all those genetic freaks of nature say. (TV Squad)

RIP: Singer Freddy Fender died over the weekend. "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights" always made me smile. Freddy had had liver and kidney transplants and was set to have a lung operation when he died. He's survived by his wife, whom he was married to twice. Now that's what I call living. Thanks for the music, Freddy! (AP)

Louse in the House: Former Massachusetts Rep. Gerry Studds died Saturday. The first openly gay member of Congress, his homosexuality was revealed through scandal. In 1983, he was censured by the House for having had an affair 10 years earlier with a 17-year-old congressional page. His Times obit says, "For Studds, formal and dignified, a model of old New England reserve, the discovery sparked intense anguish, friends said." Anguish that he'd been exposed I'm certain -- but no anguish for being a nearly 40-year-old man who was abusing his position of authority to prey on a minor? It's sad how often gay people are outted (read: presented to the world as being gay) through their misdeeds, but this one ranks very high on the most tragic list. (NYT)