Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Page 1 Consider (12/14)

  • Slammer Times: U.S. Ranks Sixth Among Countries Jailing Journalists, Report Says / Better luck next year, Team USA! The good news is Judith Miller is ranked No. 1 in singles. (NY Times)

  • Sesame Street Confidential: Connecticut jogger's death ruled a homicide, police say / Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch have been questioned in the case, but I've got my eyes on Mr. Hooper. (Can you tell me how to get, how to get ... the fuck outta this town?!") (AP)

  • Bono Overload: Jesse Helms and Bono, together at last. Could you like, quit saving the world and stuff? You're starting to piss me off. Why can't you be more like your mates? (AP)

  • Golden Guys: 'Brokeback Mountain' leads Golden Globe nominations / The film is the talk of the town, and deservedly so ... (CNN)

  • The Last Waltz, Really: Bob Dylan Signs With XM Satellite Radio to Host a Weekly Show / Just when you thought it couldn't get any sadder than those embarrassing Victoria's Secret ads. (Washington Post)
  • Future Strippers of America: Man Faces 50 Years for Marriage to 14-Year-Old / A 22-year-old man pleaded guilty Tuesday to a sexual assault charge filed after he impregnated and then married a 14-year-old girl. The girl, Crystal Koso, now 15, gave birth Aug. 24 to a 7-pound, 1-ounce girl named Samara. / Shouldn't they both have arrested for choosing that idiotic name? (AP)


    Anonymous said...

    Could you like, quit saving the world and stuff?

    Hey! What have you got against Bono's Third World Products?

    Bill said...

    Mr. Hooper's dead, but I wouldn't put anything past him.

    Next week: What ever happened to Audra Lee? I hope she isn't a meth addict or something.

    (See you next time on "Kids' Beat"!)