Chinglish 101

People say I'm too hard on overweight people. But wait'll they try to buy some extra-large pants in Shanghai and see they're labeled "lard bucket" size.

Lady Pritchett

 

 I don't own any Gaga, and I've only seen "Modern Family" once. But these two gay-friendly ingredients -- Lady Gaga and Jesse Tyler Ferguson -- seem like the most perfect fit since peanut butter and chocolate.

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

Mrs. Garrett teaches the girls the facts of life in this painting by Chris Zimmerman. Sadly, Geri Jewell was too busy being handicapable to partake in the fun.

Homo Box Office

Just realized my Facebooking/tweeting was crossing wires with my blogging, and that I'd neglected to mention on here some of the films I've seen lately.

The best of the lot by far was "Tender Mercies," a rare Netflix experience that had both Michael and me completely taken. I'd always heard how great it was, but somehow never got around to seeing it until last week. When I mentioned liking "Crazy Heart" a couple months ago, a former coworker of mine barked back that I shouldn't have bothered seeing it -- that "Tender Mercies" was essentially the same film only WAY better. No regrets about seeing Jeff Bridges Oscar turn, but Robert Duvall sure is something in "Mercies" (understandably he won the Oscar, yet I think he was even better in "The Great Santini") as was Tess Harper (what an underrated performer).

"Greenberg" is the latest from Noah Baumbach, which seems to mean just one thing: love it or hate it. ("The Squid and the Whale" was my favorite film of 2005.) I'd been "warned" by a coworker that he'd walked out of it ("I just didn't see any reason to spend one more minute with this person who has no redeeming qualities"), but somehow I took that as a sign that I'd love it -- which I did. You've probably already read about it -- "single, 40-ish guy (Ben Stiller) at a crossroads in his life finds himself in Los Angeles, house-sitting for his more successful/married-with-children brother ... tries to restart his life by reconnecting with old friends ... finds himself spending more and more time with his brother's personal assistant Florence (Greta Gerwig), an aspiring singer and also something of a lost soul." Maybe it says something about my friends and family, but Baumbach is one of the few contemporary filmmakers who writes characters who seem like actual people I know, people I actually care about. While I can understand why his films aren't for everyone, it still perplexes me that the same people who walk out of his films -- a bunch did when I saw it, too -- can't understand why I, likewise, would never want to sit through a blockbuster action flick.

Michael and I are consummate "children of the '80s," so we were certainly the target audience for John Cusack's "Hot Tub Time Machine." We went into it expecting it to be a silly good time -- the reviews were quite positive, and I certainly have a soft spot for films like "The Wedding Singer" and "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" -- but turned to each other 30 minutes into it and simultaneously whispered, "This isn't working." I'm still not sure how other people found it funny -- it was like the director thought that if you just started each scene with a Scritti Politti or Men Without Hats song then you didn't need a clever script -- but something went horribly wrong the minute it was decided nothing in the past could change and the film was backed into a corner from which it never recovered. In the words of the legendary Romeo Void frontwoman, Debora Iyall, "this is not my idea of a good time."

And finally, Michael and I caught the Doors documentary "When You're Strange" recently at the Angelika. Director Tom DiCillo digs up lots of rare footage for this compelling look at Jim Morrison and Co., with Johnny Depp narrating. While it probably doesn't break much new ground for hardcore fans -- I grew up with my brother Terence being obsessed with the band so knew most the facts -- it does a great job of showing how much the band accomplished in just 54 months together, a legacy that carries on strongly nearly 40 years after Morrison's death at the age 27. If for no other reason, it's worth seeing for 90 minutes of looking at Jim Morrison, the best-looking man in the history of music (with the possible exception of Corey Hart).

Ready to Get 'Dirty'?

Get ready for the launch of DIRTY, Paul Bruno's new online magazine covering artists, designers, musicians and more. Issue 1 will premiere the second week of May and will feature my artist pal Scooter LaForge, seen below being shot for the mag by photographer David Kimelman. Click HERE to learn more.

Ruf Trade

As I walked past their new pop-up store on 8th Avenue today, I realized that Rufskin Denim is the International Male of the 21st century.