Did Blogger 'Large Tony' Really Die in 2023?

Was stunned yesterday to discover that the well-endowed Tennessee mountain man who heated up the internet back in the day -- aptly named Large Tony -- had supposedly died in 2023, just two months shy of his 48th birthday. 

Although I know I'm not alone -- I now see that BosGuy wrote about it contemporaneously and that Andy Cohen was sniffing around at the time, too -- I have a long history with whoever was behind this persona that was simultaneously revealing (those photos!) and anonymous (did no one in the state of Tennessee ever recognize him and reveal his identity?) and I'm kind of reeling from this news, however belated. 

Yesterday he popped into my head, so I shot him an email, like we would do from time to time, only for it to bounce back. I then sent him this DM (on the erstwhile Twitter) -- and I pray that I'm onto something.

I wrote:

You just popped into my head so I sent you an email — only for it to bounce back. From there I checked on here and saw a notice saying you had died in 2023. How I hope this is not true, just a way for you to retire the Large Tony persona. But whatever the case may be, thank you for your kindness over the years. You’ve been a welcome online presence since the early days of blogging, and I hope you are at peace wherever you are today.

Unless "The Attorney" -- as he referred to his long-term partner -- somehow had full access to his accounts to post the update, which seems unlikely given that I don't think my own husband could get into mine, I'm having a hard time believing that this is true. (The slick black-and-white photo with the birth and death dates seems off, too.) Or maybe thinking this way is easier than accepting it. xo

Remains of the Day (03/27)

PinkNews: Gay Iranian refugee forced to watch executions "to know what to expect"

The Randy Report: Transgender women athletes banned from female Olympic events by new IOC policy

WBUR: As LGBTQ rights come under attack, high school art club works to create safe space

Saturday 'Stache: Bedroom thighs

Attitude: Porn star Seth Peterson’s mother demands answers after his sudden death at 28

Out: Claybourne Elder embraces his sexiness with "very gay" new album

Capital & Main: California teachers face new attacks on LGBTQ history lessons 

Speedo Sunday: Robert Conrad in a skimpy orange number and dog tags

Soap Opera Digest: "Heartbroken" Van Hansis talks Marco’s exit from "General Hospital," Lucas’s future

NYT: Marriage might not happen, but "Something Very Bad" did

Washington Blade: The outrage economy is not the LGBTQ community, writes Fabian Basabe

Out: Gay "Survivor" winner Richard Hatch ordered to pay over $3 million in unpaid taxes

Hot Cat of the Day: Harvey, if he were available in black! 

HarperCollins: New Yorkers gave Clem Burke a proper farewell this week at Bowery Palace. Now comes word that the late Blondie drummer's memoir is slated for release in May, although the link I see shows it's not available in my/his country?

East Village Pays Tribute to the Late Clem Burke

It's always sobering when a childhood hero dies. But what a joy it was last night to be in a room surrounded by people who were feeling the exact same way about Blondie drummer Clem Burke, who exited the stage last April at 70 after a battle with cancer. In addition to a large group of musicians on hand to perform songs that Clem either played on or adored -- check out the list on the Bowery Palace advert, above -- people shared stories and short films were projected on the wall, most notably a montage of notable drummers attempting to keep up with Clem's legendary performance on the Blondie hit "Dreaming." (Has there ever been a better drum part?!!!)

Danny Sage stunned (me!) by opening with "Poet's Problem" -- beyond a deep cut -- then later did "Union City Blue," saying it was Clem's favorite Blondie song to perform.

Kathy Valentine, a Clem ex and longtime friend of the drummer, co-organized the event with Jesse Malin, who is recovering from a spinal stroke.* 

Each of them performed, with Jesse singing "Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?" -- in honor of Clem's short time in the Ramones (he was dubbed Elvis Ramone!) -- and Kathy, who I've always thought sounded a bit like Debbie Harry, taking the lead on "Hanging on the Telephone," as well as "Looking for a Kiss" (New York Dolls) and "Make Me Shake," a song she says Clem helped her write for her Bluebonnets. 

Frankie Clarke did a rousing cover of "Rip Her to Shreds" as well as "Rockaway Beach" by the Ramones.

There were many more -- including Tommy Stinson performing "The Kids Are Alright [sic]" in honor of Clem's obsession with the Who, Wally Palmar doing "Talking in Your Sleep" and "What I Like About You" a nod to Clem's time in the Romantics (even though he didn't play on either), and someone called Belle Blue brought the house down with her take on "One Way or Another" -- but I was too busy taking it all in to jot down the complete setlist, even getting choked up at one point, realizing I'll never see the Blondie I've known and loved all these years perform live again. 

I'm so grateful I made a last-second decision to attend the band's Pier 17 gig in 2022, which almost felt gratuitous at the time as they had been touring a lot. As it would happen, Olivia Newton-John, my first blond obsession, had just died and it got me thinking about Debbie's mortality. Little did we know then.

Note to Clem, wherever you are: We adore you and miss you. But your beat lives on forever.

Clem cocktails: Honey, here's looking at you!

Almost Blue (Belle)

After the show, ready to fade away and radiate ...

*Malin's on the mend, back performing his “Silver Manhattan” show, which Variety calls a success on virtually every level: It’s not a conventional musical, but more of a live memoir punctuated with songs from all across his career -- a kind of East Village, punk rock version of “Springsteen on Broadway.”

On the Rag, Vol. 900

This week's rag 'n' mag roundup features Martine Souza, Manfred, Steve Howey, Dan Levy, Taylor Ortega, Barry Manilow and more BELOW.

Remains of the Day (03/25)

Out: Do men make passes at gay guys in glasses?

ACLU: Mapping attacks on LGBTQ rights in U.S. state legislatures in 2025

Brian Ferrari: When Marianne Faithfull covered After Dark in 1980

SCMP: China still on track to supplant US as world’s No. 1 economy in 10 years, scholar says

Wrestle Wednesday: Calf genetics go crazy -- "thanks, Dad!"

Socialite Life: Alan Ritchson’s neighbor started altercation, sources claim; here’s what the viral fight video didn’t show

Radar: Inside Monica Seles's latest health battle

Out: "Boots" star Angus O'Brien flexes six-pack abs in steamy pic

AFP: Hungary's hard-pressed LGBTQ people say exit of nationalist PM Viktor Orban is only half the battle

PinkNews: Police arrested a 41-year-old Florida woman on a felony child abuse charge after she allegedly cut a young male relative with a knife upon discovering messages and images revealing he was gay

Attitude: German football coach Christian Dobrick comes out as gay: "This charade has drained me"

NYT: What begins as a simple tick bite can turn devastating as alpha-gal syndrome spreads, leaving some patients with a severe red-meat allergy and, in rare cases, death

Interview: Crocodiles, influencers and tennis pros collide as Club Lacoste takes over the Miami Open

Advocate: Meet the LGBTQ disability activist who climbed Mount Kilimanjaro

Instinct: Nearly two years after 19-year-old college student Edward Cornes was found dead in a King’s Cross hotel room following a night with two older men, his drug-related death continues to raise more questions than answers

Hot Cat of the Day: My adorable niece claims she went to college in Vermont because she got a softball scholarship, but I know the real reason! 

The Caftan Chronicles: Michael Rajner’s heroic persistence helps stave off a Florida HIV meds crisis -- for now

Driver 8: Talk about your threeway potential ... and we know what a horndog Madison is based on that REVENGE VIDEO!

Book 'em, Danno

 

I still haven't broken my reading habit, so here's the latest:

Having only consumed Joan Didion's two late-in-life memoirs -- "The Year of Magical Thinking" (about her late husband) and "Blue Nights" (about her late daughter) -- I thought it would be fun to read stuff from her heyday. I ended up picking "The White Album," and while I certainly wouldn't say the writing isn't good, as a collection of (then) timely essays it doesn't really hold much interest in 2026. (Not since "Chinatown" has someone been this fascinated by L.A. water, only Joan's no Faye Dunaway.) 

I had asked for a recommendation from an older friend who reads a lot but came up short when she told me that she'd never actually read anything by the acclaimed writer because "Joan Didion always seemed like someone you were supposed to read, which was a big turnoff."

 

From there I finally read Scotty Bowers's infamous "Full Service," which was loaned to me nearly a decade ago by the same friend, who actually heard about it via my blog. When we discussed "how much of it do you think is true?" my friend said she had a hard time believing there were men who would PAY OTHER MEN to perform oral sex on them(!) or that Katharine Hepburn would be a whore for young women. (Um.) 

I didn't have a hard time believing the book's contents so much as stomaching them. Call me a prude -- my tags are "vanilla," "vanilla" and "vanilla" -- but after the first few encounters I was kind of getting grossed out by it all. 

Suffice to say that I wasn't too surprised to realize upon closer inspection that the copy my friend had loaned me -- which she'd bought used online -- had been "withdrawn" from Cedar Mill Community Library in Portland, Ore., not exactly the censorship capital of the world but even they can only stomach so much. (Sorry, but the shit sandwich was a "kink" too far.) 

And then I picked up David Spade's 2015 memoir, which my brother Terence had quasi-recommended because we're both fans and the comedian shares our Detroit-Phoenix upbringing. I'm probably the only person who has read not one but two autobiographies by "Saturday Night Live" alums but wasn't very interested in the "SNL" angle of it all. (Table reads and Lorne Michaels gossip don't really excite me.) But I've always enjoyed Spade -- especially on "Just Shoot Me," which doesn't even get a mention -- and some very strange things have happened to him over the years that made for a fun read. 

I also finished my friend Tim Anderson's "Tune In Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries" -- about his time teaching English in Japan -- and it is HYSTERICAL! 

UPDATE: A kind reader just gave me three Didion recommendations -- "Play It as It Lays," "Where I Was From" and "South and West" -- and I'm thinking of starting with the middle one as it's a straightforward memoir, which seems to be my sweet spot these days -- although I must confess this review is already giving me "White Album" flashbacks!. I'm also a Patty Hearst nut dating back to my childhood, so I might give "South and West" a shot, too.