Youthquake (Sort Of)

When I first glanced at this week's New York magazine cover story -- "Forever Youngish: Why Nobody Wants to Be an Adult Anymore" -- my first reaction was, "Oh, yeah. Like everyone wanted to be an old fart before" followed by "So all you need to do to stay young is wear a hoodie and carry a messenger bag?" But something about the guys on the cover made me want to know more (nice work, Adam Moss) so I bought it. The article examines how this perpetual state of "youth" -- or being a partial grown-up, or "grup" -- went mainstream and how it appears to be here for good.

I've always known -- and I think some portion of society has always resented -- that being gay or even married without children sort of extended your 20s lifestyle indefinitely. Staying out late, concerts, friends -- no problem. It's only natural that living a certain way makes you a certain way (mortgage + kids = old). I can remember being in Ireland a few years back with a friend of mine who is nearly a decade older than I am and when we were buying tickets to something the girl at the kiosk asked us if we were students (two 30- to 40-year-old men). This same friend was asked by his nieces and nephews -- while playing with them in the pool -- "Are you a grown-up, Uncle Kenny?" To be honest, it was a fair question: all the real grown-ups were overweight, sitting on the sidelines and no fun to be around. He was fit, active and ready to get wet. What the article illustrates is that these days, it seems, you can still have money, a spouse and even kids and still not throw away everything that made you who you are.

Read: Forever Youngish

Andy Chase and Dominique Durand are members of Ivy, one of my favorite bands. They're also big-time grups.

Booster Shot

Morning Wood: Danny Roberts

Oh, Danny: He's still the cutest reality star there ever was.

Page 1 Consider (03/31)

Basically, It Stinks: The reviews for "Basic Instinct 2" aren't exactly great, but how much worse can it be than seeing Michael Douglas' saggy ass nonstop in the first one? (WP)

Whopper Mania: Does the Houston Chronicle really have a reporter who reviews food from Burger King? "I've got a feeling that both the Tendercrisp and Angus Cheesy Bacon Steak Burger will lose their limited-time-only tags in short order. These are keepers." You just know he has one of those high-pitched fat voices. (HC)

Recuse You: The White House continually does horrible things and then when confronted will flat-out deny it. Is it any surprise that a dick like Antonin Scalia is the same way? (BH)

Mojoless in Miami: Andy Roddick bounced yet again. (TSN)

Splitsville: Former 'Friends' star Matt LeBlanc files for divorce / The marriage lasted two seasons longer than "Joey," but no word on who gets custody of Ed the chimp. (AP)

No 'Mass' Gays: The state's highest court ruled Thursday that same-sex couples from states where gay marriage is prohibited cannot tie the knot in Massachusetts. Gov. Mitt Romney, a Republican who is considering a run for president in 2008, welcomed the decision, saying he did not want Massachusetts to become "the Las Vegas of same-sex marriage." Yet another dick comment, Mitt. (AP)

Cleaning 'House': In an attempt to stop some the reactionary and idiotic moves by the House of Representatives in recent months, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force urged federal lawmakers in Washington yesterday to enact humane immigration policies and reject extreme measures that go so far as to criminalize humanitarian assistance to undocumented immigrants. (GayWired)

Kenneth's Complaint

My brother Bill mentioned that he'd been wanting to read "Portnoy's Complaint," so having never read any Philip Roth myself I decided to check it out, too.

I've never had such ambivalent feelings about a book before. I read the first half back in January (I tend to start books on plane rides and I had to go to Florida for a funeral then). The first half truly had me laughing aloud. Having several male Jewish friends -- and being en route to a Jewish funeral in Fort Lauderdale -- I really enjoyed the story of young Portnoy's overbearing mother and the effect it had on his coming of age. Roth's writing and timing were wonderful, and the way it all read like one big breath on the shrink's couch was like nothing I'd ever read before.

Then I got distracted (somehow I'm reading four books at once -- something I never allow to happen) and didn't pick it up again until last week. Suddenly the adult stage of the book -- starring The Monkey -- turned angry, ugly and misogynistic. I almost quit reading it altogether. I'm not sure if my nonsexual, always-protective feelings toward women prevented me from relating to this part in any way or if the character is just sick and vile.

At the very end, the book turned around a bit with some funny moments when he goes to his gentile girlfriend's house for Thanksgiving in college, but all in all I ended up feeling let down by the book's overall effect.

Morning Wood: Brent van Zant

Model Brent van Zant is way beyond dreamy.

Page 1 Consider (03/30)

Man! I Drive Like a Woman!: One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions. The guilty party this time? Shania Twain. (CBC)

Hero and Villain:The psychologist Eugene Landy has died at 71. Landy first gained notoriety as Brian Wilson's therapist back in 1975, for his controversial "24-hour therapy," during which he worked with patients for extended periods of time. Ethics questions arose when he employed his"24-year therapy" technique with the nutty Beach Boy genius, to the tune of $35,000 a month. (AP)

Minnelli Rules: Liza Gets an 'A' for 'Liza With a 'Z" / The new DVD of her legendary 1972 concert is getting rave reviews. It's nice for us to remember when Liza was so much more than a punchline. OK, enough of that: watch what a crazy freak she is here! (AP)

The Accused: Duke University's president has suspended the school's highly ranked lacrosse team from play until school administrators learn more about allegations that several team members raped an exotic dancer/student/mother at an off-campus party. The details of this case of extremely disturbing. (AP)

It's Not Right, But It's OK: Bobby Brown's sister Tina says Whitney Houston spends her days locked in her bedroom "smoking crack, using sex toys to satisfy herself and ignoring personal hygiene." The singer's habit has also cost her teeth, according to Tina, who says Houston wears dentures."She loses them in the house and when she's out on drug binges," Tina claims. "They cost $6,000 and the dentist has to keep FedEx'ing her a new set." On one occasion, Tina alleges, Houston drove to her niece's school without her teeth."She forgot her teeth and scared the kids. My kid cried about it." No word on what Bobby's other sisters Crystal and Mary Jane think about the situation. (Enquirer)

Stalking Stifler

On our way to dinner last night, my Michael Bernard stopped dead in his tracks in front of the Heart of Chelsea Animal Hospital on my block. "Turn around," he said, with a huge smile. There he was -- larger than life: dreamboat actor Seann William Scott.

Stifler appeared to be picking up a very tiny pooch with his ridiculously attractive, extremely leggy galpal. He was all smiles as everyone seemed to be recognizing him in the vet's office. Naturally, we lurked outside waiting to see which way they were heading and immediately -- and oh so discreetly -- followed them east on 18th Street (OK, back toward my house where we'd just come from).

We walked right behind them -- Stifler is 5'11", so this chick must be like 6'11" and 5 of those feet are legs -- until they got a cab at the corner of 7th and 18th. Seann, ever the gentleman, carried the dog in its carrier so his lady friend could smoke (yuck).

This probably wouldn't have been such a fun quasi-stalking moment if not for the fact that Seann William Scott is one of the few men that my bf and I agree is too hot for words -- and even hotter up close and personal.

Previously:

Morning Stifler: Seann William Scott

(UPDATE: Here is a recent photo of Seann and said gal-pal at a New York Rangers game.)

Lounging, to Say the Least

I just got an e-mail from a PR flack I know who is promoting a new gay bar in Hell's Kitchen: VLADA Lounge is very sleek, sophisticated and romantic and has an artsy hang-out kind of feeling. They will have a full menu, infused vodkas, fun entertainment, etc.

I remember a time not very long ago when a new bar opening -- much less one I was personally invited to -- would have made my week. And why not? Most weeks consisted of going out a minimum of five nights.*

VLADA Lounge looks like a lovely place, but tonight -- like most nights -- will be quiet time with Mikey (aka Bernard).

*Does this bring back any memories, Jay?

Tuesday: Beige

Thursday: g

Friday: Starlight / East Village neighbors (Boiler Room in the '90s)

Saturday: g / Roxy

Sunday: Barracuda (Splash in the '90s)
(Which isn't to say Mondays and Wednesdays couldn't involve going out, too.)

I know I'm not the first person in the world to realize he's grown up, but damn, I've grown up!

Sporting Wood: Alexandre Despatie

The French Canadian Alexandre Despatie is admired for his diving and other endowments ...

Page 1 Consider (03/29)

Closet Case: Remember when the evil president of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, celebrated his birthday by comparing homosexuals to "dogs and pigs"? Protesters are returning the favor, condemning Mugabe as the "Queen of Tyranny" and a likely closeted homosexual. (PinkNews)

Basic Nutjob: 'Basic Instinct 2' Serves Up More Scary Sex / With Sharon Stone in it, could it be any other kind? (NYP)

Sex Ed: Study Says Male Escorts Help Educate Clients / Great. So what does this mean for No Child Left Behind? (GayWired)

Move Over: Former Defense Secretary Weinberger dies / Someone had better notify God that Caspar's in charge now. (AP)

Oceans Away: This is just what the world doesn't need. (BBC)

Mr. Mojo Rising: It wasn't pretty, but Andy Roddick won his 4th round match against a qualifier in Miami to move into the quarterfinals. (MH)

Making a Scene

Every Chris needs a Martina, and every Time needs a Newsweek. So I guess it's high time the Advocate got some competition. Enter Scene, a new monthly gay news magazine. With its glossy cover, timely news articles, fun features and nice color photography throughout, Scene is a welcome addition to an admittedly overcrowded newsstand.

Reading the letter from the publisher I found out that Scene is actually celebrating its one-year anniversary this month. It's published by Mark Lund, who recently appeared as a judge on the surprise hit reality show "Skating With Celebrities." Lund was also a figure skating analyst for CNN during the 2002 winter Olympics, wrote the book "Frozen Assets: The New Order of Figure Skating," and is the former publisher of International Figure Skating magazine (this guy's busy).

Living at the epicenter of gay life in New York City, I'm surprised I'd never even heard of Scene before noticing it on the stand yesterday at Rainbows and Triangles (is that a gay enough name for a store?). Nonetheless, it certainly seems like they have a winner -- and I'll be curious to see how it does in the years ahead.

One thing is for sure: it certainly doesn't hurt that Scene is quoting guys like Michael Mings of the HRC in its articles. Who knew that a McClintock High graduate could be more than just a pretty face ...

Big Unit Backfires

Redneck Yankees pitcher Randy Johnson has a secret out-of-wedlock love child and is trying to force the girl's mother to return $100,000 in child support because he doesn't have "proof" of how the money is being spent. (There went your secret!)

A) Who would have sex with this disgusting freak?
B) He makes $16 million a year and he's pulling this?
C) The reason he fought back is because he got angry when the mother also asked him to buy "a truck and computer" for the now-16-year-old girl, as well as "cover community college expenses."

Must people always have to live up to stereotypes?

Time of the Season

The Abercrombie & Fitch boys are back, just in time to make us feel horrible about our bodies for the summer.

B.J. Hooker for Congress

Don't you hate when your past career as a gay hooker gets in the way of your new life as a Mary Kay cosmetics rep (pink Cadillac included) and candidate for the Texas House of Representatives?

(Via the Advocate)

Sporting Wood: Campbell Brown

Campbell Brown: yet another reason to love rugby Aussie Rules Football.

Page 1 Consider (03/28)

Pretty Women: Scarlett Johansson Tops FHM's 'Sexiest Women' Poll / Angelina Jolie slipped to No. 2 when people finally remembered that she's fucking crazy. (AP)

That Sinking Feeling: A Ford Explorer sank into a Brooklyn street. Really. (NYT)

k.d. lang academy: Lesbian's Girlfriend Banned from the Prom / What did they expect -- it's an all-girls school. (AP)

Tip Your Terrorist: 'Dirty Bombs' Crossed U.S. Borders in Test / Great. Now the evil doers know all about this. (AP)

Jumping Jackoff: A gym coach in Illinois has been banned from working with children at a Catholic school after it was discovered that he was a former porn star. These Catholics -- unless they can be in the video they don't want anything to do with ya. (PinkNews)

Tiara Optional: Contestants from Eight Nations Added to the 2006 International Mr. Gay Competition / This is so funny: I was Mr. Gay in my 9th grade gym class. (GayWired)

Music Box: X

X "Under the Big Black Sun"

When I was a kid, music was my life. Olivia Newton-John, the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel were my absolute favorites. But the summer of '82 was a turning point in my young life. My brother Bill came home from his internship at The Phoenix Gazette one night with a stack of promotional LPs he'd gotten and it introduced us to a whole new sound: The Cure's "Pornography," Siouxsie and the Banshees' "Juju" (with a bonus 7-inch of "Israel"), Gang of Four's "Songs of the Free," Wall of Voodoo's "Call of the West," Oingo Boingo's "Nothing to Fear," plus "Urgh! A Music War" with Klaus Nomi, XTC, the Fleshtones, Magazine and so on.

But the album that made the biggest impression on us -- along with my pal Greg -- was easily X's "Under the Big Black Sun." We'd never heard anything so cool as Billy Zoom's powerful rockabilly guitar licks, and John Doe and Exene Cervenka were like the punk Buckingham- Nicks: so great alone, but so much better together.

Although I later got and loved its predecessors, "Los Angeles" and "Wild Gift," "Under the Big Black Sun" is still my favorite for it's the one album that can truly make me feel like I'm 15-year-old Columbus, discovering the New Wave World.

What's Your Sign?

Today's Times has a fun story about a group of Seattle residents who are concerned about the fate of an old neon Wonder Bread sign that's coming down to make room for new buildings. While the company developing the land has said it would donate the sign to the nearby Pratt Institute of Fine Arts, some local residents aren't so sure it won't end up on the auction block and into the hands of wealthy collectors. It seems old neon industrial signs are all the rage these days and Seattle, a leader in historic preservation, is chock full of them, having never taken most of them down.

The story reminded me of a sign I wouldn't mind getting my hands on. Underneath the main sign at the Hostess Bakery Thriftshop back in my quasi hometown of Mesa, Arizona, was a smaller one alerting customers that:

WEDNESDAY BARGIN DAY!

It was all my Future Copy Editors of America brothers and I could do not to barge in every Wednesday and demand some discounted Hostess Cup Cakes. Trust me: a lot of stuff seems way funnier when it's 110 degrees.

Read:

In Seattle, Questions Arise About the Future of a Sign From the Past

Built for Speed

I broke down and bought a kickass new computer on Saturday. The big winner in the whole thing would have to be my neighbors: they won't have to listen to me screaming at the top of my lungs at my old Compaq laptop, which had long overstayed its welcome. I thought about waiting for the new Microsoft operating system, but then I read that Vista has been delayed again, so I decided to forge ahead. I wound up getting a Gateway notebook with these snazzy features:

Intel Core Duo T2300 processor

100GB hard drive

1G memory

15.4" Ultrabright TFT WXGA display

Double-layer DVD+/-R/RW drive

I also bought an 80G external hard drive that I used to copy everything off the Compaq, so I now have everything "backed up" as I should have all along.

I spent way more than I'd planned to, but I'm hoping this new setup will last me awhile. This computer hauls ass and is the nicest one I've ever worked on.

Packing Up Cargo

I hear the magazine Cargo just folded and subscribers will receive GQ for the remainder of their subscriptions.

I can't say I'm really surprised: I bought it a few times and I'm still not sure what the point was ...

Morning Wood: Ryan LeBar

I think Ryan LeBar is some sort of a model/wannabe actor. I know he's hot.

Page 1 Consider (03/27)

Daddy-O! Cutie Chris O'Donnell can't seem to produce a hit movie anymore, but he sure can produce children. (AP)

Shuffleboard Battle of the Sexes: First '70s icon Eric Estrada tries to sell us some swamp land in Arkansas, and now Billie Jean King is hawking gay senior resorts. No word on Marilyn Barnett's retirement plans ... (PlanetOut)

Case Dismissed: Mary Winkler, the mother of 3 who admitted killing her preacher man husband, told a friend from their parish that she was "sorry for everything." Now I'm not a big church fart, but I do know forgiveness is where it's at. I say let her go. (AP)

She's Just Like Us: The queen of celebrity rags Bonnie Fuller's new how-to book for working women, "The Joys of Much Too Much," is out next month. In it, the editorial diva stops belittling her staff long enough to reveal her vulnerable side, confessing that she was "a geeky, Canadian Jewish girl from a dysfunctional family." Is that shorthand for "makes her staff stay at work for 48 hours at a time and refuses to learn how to use a computer -- instead making an intern read and type all of her e-mail messages for her?" (JournalNews)

Found Out What It Meant to Him: The Seattle man who blew away six young adults at a "zombie rave" is described as "polite" and "respectful." That's gotta be comforting to the victims' families; you wouldn't want your loved one murdered in cold bloody by someone who is rude and disrespectful. (AP)

Cock Fight: Man throws his penis at police -- so the cops taser his ass. (PinkNews)

Lezzie Borden: "Help you? I wouldn't spit on you," said Juliet Wilson as she poured boiling bleach over her girlfriend in a jealous rage. (PinkNews)

Model Behavior

I knew that Ace was obsessed, but now I find out that my boyfriend has a little crush on "8th & Ocean" model/resident hearbreaker Teddy John, too. (Teddy's cute, but does he only have one facial expression? And that almost-Canadian Niagara Falls accent is just awful.)

We watched another episode on DVR over the weekend and I'm still not quite there on the whole thing, although Michael and I have figured out that clear-skinned twin Kelly is an evil bitch and seems to enjoy her insecure twin Sabrina's misfortunes a little too much. (And what's with those names? Is there another sister named Jill?)