Thursday, December 31, 2015

Party Like It's 1999

My #ThrowbackThursday is me ringing in 1999 at the now-defunct bar Hell in the Meatpacking District with Dave, Larry and Kevin. Hard to believe Larry has been gone (but not forgotten) 10 years next week. Hope everyone has a fun and safe New Year's Eve -- and a memorable 2016!

Wet Dream

Plenty more where that came from HERE.

Plan B

If Weight Watchers doesn't work for Oprah Winfrey, there's always the Hawaii Chair, which says it can handle -- or help you lose? -- up to 300 pounds. 

Song of the Day: 'Tonight Is the Night' by Betty Wright

Does it get any better than this?

Morning Wood

Page 1 Roundup (12/31)

This is an advance look at the cover of tomorrow's Daily News, which is so brilliant I couldn't wait till the morning to post! Read the accompanying story HERE.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Do You Love It?

Dustin Lance Black and Tom Daley -- in his-and-his sleepwear -- cover Out magazine's Love Issue. Go inside HERE.

A Black Christmas Story

Timely because of the sad state of affairs in the world -- and because I just saw the holiday classic for the first time!

Oprah's Weight Watchers Ad Sends Stock Soaring

I'm confused. Didn't Oprah spend the last three decades encouraging us to love our bodies the way they are?

Or ... 

You could always eat less and move more, but I guess when I say it it's called fat shaming.

Happy (Belated) Birthday to Mary Tyler Moore!

Not even learning you're a Republican tool can erase the memories I have of growing up with "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," which I still think ranks as the best sitcom ever. MTM, who turned 79 yesterday, has reportedly been in poor health recently, and there was even a report of domestic abuse. Here's hoping things are looking up for the woman who truly could turn the world on with her smile.

Sandy's on Fire in 'Feel the Bernhard' at Joe's Pub

I've seen Sandra Bernhard at least a half-dozen times. But last night's performance at Joe's Pub was definitely the best I can recall since I saw her in Hermosa Beach(?) back in 1990, when she was gearing up to promote the film adaptation of her classic "Without You I'm Nothing" stage show. 

"Feel the Bernhard" was short, sloppy (she stammered on stories and she relied heavily on notes on a music stand, even while singing songs that most of us know by heart) and even included one entire segment lifted from another show of hers. (It was a greatest hit, so I'm not really complaining.) Yet despite all this, the whole was still far greater than the sum of its parts. The song selection was sublime, (I want to spoil it for you, but I won't. For those who question her singing ability, I find it's best to take it with a grain of salt.) Her take on politics, celebrity and consumerism were poignant and hysterical -- quietly reminding me that she may not have invented observational comedy, but she perfected it.  (She even made herself laugh a couple times.) And her singularity -- after yet another year of being inundated by people famous for being famous and actual celebrities I've never heard of -- enveloped the room. 

Afterward we skipped the T-shirt purchase/meet-and-greet, choosing instead to bask in the embers of the Bern. Sandra is like one of those beautiful tigers at the zoo. You can sit there and look at them all day, but you know there's a cage separating you for a reason. Instead, I signed up for Sirius XM so I can get a regular fresh dose of "Sandyland." I've always appreciated Sandra Bernhard. I can recite "Without You I'm Nothing" from top to bottom, and "The King of Comedy" is one of my favorite movies of all time, largely because of her firebrand performance. But it's only now as I close in on 50 --with her now 60 -- revisiting her countless appearances on David Letterman and Howard Stern that I realize my life would have been less fun without her in it, and I kind of want to savor every moment moving forward.

Jason Statham Hits the Beach in Thailand

I think every gay man in the world is calling British model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley a lucky bitch right about now. It's just too bad the action star isn't WEARING A SPEEDO like he used to during his competitive diving days.

Harriet Tubman Wins Vote to Replace Andrew Jackson on $20 Bill

Not sure how much weight this poll carries, but 600,000 people think the Queen of the Underground Railroad deserves the honor, and I'm one of them. Rosa Parks works too, but it seems the idea of either of them isn't sitting well with some.activists who feel it amounts to "hush money."

Bill Cosby Charged in 2004 Sexual Assault Case

Wow. I knew there were dozens of accusers, but I thought the statute of limitations had run out on all of them. Happy to hear that there may be some kind of justice after all. This seems like the biggest fall from grace for a Hollywood superstar that I can remember. I know about Fatty Arbuckle, am I forgetting any other comparable ones? 

The New York Times reports: 
The authorities in Pennsylvania announced criminal charges on Wednesday against the entertainer Bill Cosby stemming from a woman’s accusation that he drugged and sexually abused her at his home in a suburb north of Philadelphia, in 2004.  
Kevin Steele, Montgomery County’s district attorney-elect, said that Mr. Cosby faces a felony charge of aggravated indecent assault. He said the investigation involved a “relationship” between Mr. Cosby and the victim, Andrea Constand, that came about from her work with the basketball team at Temple University, Mr. Cosby’s alma mater.  
 Mr. Cosby became a “mentor” and “friend” to Ms. Constand, Mr. Steele said, and at one point she went to his home in Cheltenham Township. According to the accusations, Mr. Cosby urged her to take pills and drink wine until she was unable to move, after which he committed the assault. 
“The evidence is strong and sufficient to proceed,” Mr. Steele said. He added: “A person in that state cannot give consent.” 
Mr. Cosby’s lawyer, Monique Pressley, had no immediate comment but said a statement would be coming later Wednesday. Ms. Constand’s lawyer, Dolores M. Troiani, expressed “appreciation” to law enforcement in a statement on Wednesday, praising them for “the consideration and courtesy they have shown Andrea during this difficult time.” 
Mr. Cosby is expected to be arraigned on Wednesday.

UPDATE: Accused serial rapist funnyman's bail set at $1 million, ordered to hand over passport as he arrives in Pa. court to faces charges in 2004 sex assault

Song of the Day: 'Love & Happiness' by Al Green

Heard Sandra Bernhard and Lady Bunny jamming to this on "Sandyland" this week. I'll never be the same.

Morning Wood

Page 1 Roundup (12/30)

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


I've got a hot date with Sandra Bernhard tonight at Joe's Pub.

UPDATE: The review is in HERE!

Cristiano Ronaldo to Ring In New Year With His Kickboxer 'Cuddle Buddy' -- Report

Not sure what's more hilarious -- that this constitutes "news" on the world's most-popular news site, or that being in a relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo would be considered "bizarre"!

 The Daily News "reports":
Cristiano Ronaldo is preparing to return to Morocco to see in the New Year with his kick boxer friend Badr Hari, according to reports. The pair will party together in Marrakesh in between two matches for Real Madrid. Ronaldo, 30, has reserved a £2,400-a-night suite at luxury hotel The Pearl Marrakech for his whirlwind trip, Arabic-speaking newspaper Ajbar Al Yaum claimed. The footballer is thought to have stayed at the hotel on previous visits to the Moroccan tourist hotspot, including the time he was pictured in Hari's arms in photos which sparked bizarre claims the pair were in a gay relationship. Ronaldo is expected to make the trip in his private jet after his side's home match tomorrow afternoon against Real Sociedad. The Spanish side's following match is away against Valencia on Sunday night. His Real Madrid strike partner Karim Benzema is also said to have accepted an invite to the New Year celebrations in Marrakesh. The bizarre story about Ronaldo being in a gay relationship surfaced after stories emerged in the Spanish press that he was making regular trips to Morocco to see Dutch-born Hari, 31.
One said he was using his new private jet, a £13.5million Gulfstream G200, to make daily return trips between Torrejon Air Base near Madrid and Morocco after weekday training sessions. Earlier this month, French TV pundit Daniel Riolo reacted to photos posted on Hari's social media accounts showing him holding Ronaldo in his arms and lazing together by a pool by saying: 'I'm sure flying off to Morocco three or four times a week to see a friend and cuddle with him might have an impact on his performances eventually.' Ronaldo, who split from long-term girlfriend Irina Shayk this time last year, went on to admit 'personal problems' but refused to elaborate on what had affected his performances at the start of the season which is regarded as being one of his worst since he joined Real Madrid.
Subsequent reports said the Real Madrid star's regular trips to Morocco were to see Portuguese-French model Melanie Martins. Ronaldo spent Christmas in Miami, thousands of miles from his family including his mum Dolores and son Cristianinho, five. He enjoyed VIP treatment while watching Miami Heat play the Detroit Pistons before being pictured relaxing bare-chested by his hotel pool. Benzema, who has been suspended from the French national side while he is investigated on suspicion of involvement in a blackmail plot against teammate Mathieu Valbuena, threw a massive party last week at the Cavalli Club in Dubai to celebrate his 28th birthday. Badr, who in November flew to Madrid to watch them play Barcelona, is thought to have spent Christmas in Kenitra in northern Morocco where his family are understood to own a home. His last tweets show him donating tracksuits and blankets to orphans and prisoners in Kenitra through a charity association he runs.