Human Nature

People started lining up Monday morning(!) to get first-come, first-served tickets to Madonna's free show going on right now at Roseland Ballroom. I obviously didn't partake -- I actually haven't seen Madonna since the Blonde Ambition tour in 1990, twice in L.A. -- but I know people who did. Every time she comes to town I tell myself I don't want to go (I've always been a much bigger fan of her music than her theatrics, and that embarrassing Girlie Show I saw on HBO convinced me that I'd seen enough) -- and the obscene ticket prices usually convince me that I made the right decision. But then concert night comes and a twinge of nonbuyer's remorse usually comes over me. I'm pretty blah about the new album -- nothing too horrible (except "Spanish Lesson") and nothing too great (except "Dance 2night" and the first two minutes of "Incredible," at which point things go so horribly wrong that it becomes intolerable) -- but tomorrow I will get the lowdown and we'll see if that twinge fades away ...

High Notes

Splendor in the Grass: Ian Somerhalder and Shia LaBeouf, below Who cares if I'm too old to have ever heard of any of the acts (save Prince), it looks like I need to check out this Coachella Music Festival after all. (Coachella boys via Towleroad and Trent)

Ooh-La-La! Edilson Nascimento

Brazilian boy, French magazine. What an international treat!

Previously:

Morning Wood: Edilson Nascimento

Edilson Nascimento Plays Ball

Page 1 Consider (04/30)

Equal Rights: I'm as fascinated by these YouTube clips of Alexis Arquette bashing her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Schubert Organization president Philip Smith, as much as the next person. But truthfully, I didn't even know it was legal for transgender people to get married in the first place. (Gawker)

English 077: If North Carolina's education system is hoping to reduce its dropout rate with more online programs, it might want to get Bryan Setser, director of N.C. Virtual Schools, into some remedial English classes -- online or otherwise -- before letting him talk to the press: "I think irregardless of what party you're affiliated with," he said, "you see the value that online education can save the taxpayers money, and it can also help the work force." I'm guessing Setser was valedictorian at the University of Phoenix, class of 1989. (DailyTarHeel)

Well Hello, Stalker! Well, you gotta hand it to Uma Thurman's "suitor" Jack Jordan. Despite having had his heart "broken" by another very famous lady -- "Carol Channing in the early '90s" (was she in her early 90s or was that when it happened?) -- he put his heart on the line for the former Mrs. Hawke. (She calls it stalking, he calls it "romantic.") Truth be told, after her "performance" in "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" I think she's lucky to have a stalker at all. (NYP)

The Ginch Made Me Do It: Tired of committing sinful homosexual acts? Maybe it's your underwear's fault. (UndiesDrawer)

Is He Experienced? Vivid Entertainment is planning to release a recently discovered Jimi Hendrix sex tape. How much did they get for their soul? (AP) (I didn't get much for mine either: check out the trailer here.)

PETA's Wet Dream: Of course, it had to be a a border collie mix named Cupcake that would be ensnared in a trap set legally for wild fur-bearing animals.. What next, a kitten named Dan Matthews? (NYT)

The Surreal Life: Kathy Griffin has split from billionaire Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak -- and a week later he's engaged? Hmm. I guess the important thing is he was filmed for "My Life on the D-List," right? (UsWeekly)

Reality Check: "The Hills" makes the cover of Rolling Stone. How ever did they get Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag in the same room without killing each other? (RS)

Never in My Wildensteinest Dreams: Say it isn't so, Heather Locklear. And I thought Madonna looked weird. (PITNB)

Iconic Image: Photographer Joe Lyon discusses his work on Yaz(oo)'s "Upstairs at Eric's" album cover, as well as "In Your Room" and "Nobody's Diary" EPs. (AlisonMoyet)

Making a Spectacle of Herself: Lourdes Leon steals her mom's look. (DailyMail)

Music Box: Carly Simon

I can't get over how sexy Carly Simon looks on her just-released new album, "This Kind of Love." (If you're up reading this early, look for her on "Good Morning America" right about now!) I understand Carly played a private concert last night at the very intimate Joe's Pub here in Manhattan. (I wasn't invited but I know someone who was. How was it, John?) Until I have a chance to review the new album, I'll leave you with two videos -- something old and something new.

"Why" is an overlooked gem of a song Chic produced for Carly for the "Soup for One" film soundtrack back in 1982. Carly had angered her label with the standards collection, "Torch," in 1981 when they wanted a strong followup to 1980's smash, "Jesse." With the momentum slightly broken, "Why" stalled at No. 74. However, the song turned out to be a surprise hit in the U.K., where it flew straight into the top ten. In what was considered somewhat groundbreaking back then, Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards had just collaborated with another famous caucasian -- one Debbie Harry -- on her debut solo album, "Koo Koo." ("Jump Jump" was also used for "Soup for One.") Rodgers, of course, would go on to much greater success producing David Bowie and Madonna in the coming years. But pound for pound, "Why" is my favorite song he (and Edwards) produced during this era.



"This Kind of Love," from Carly's new album

New tunes

Don't Stop Lyrics Baby Bash	Realize Lyrics Colbie Caillat
Lollipop Lyrics Lil' Wayne	Ring My Bell Lyrics Madonna
Time To Pretend Lyrics MGMT	All I Ever Wanted Lyrics Chuck Wicks
Labels Or Love Lyrics Fergie	Loded Lyrics Hurt
Like Me Lyrics Girlicious	Something's Not Right Here Lyrics OneRepublic

Get your blog's here.

Bianco e Nero

In this clip, we see beautiful black and white images from co-writer/director's forthcoming film "Ciao." In it, a man named Mark (Charles W. Blaum) dies very unexpectedly and leaves behind two men: Jeff (Adam Neal Smith), his best friend, and Andrea (Alessandro Calza, pictured below, who co-wrote the script), an Italian man he's been corresponding with online. Jeff informs Andreas of Mark's passing, Andrea writes back to express his shock and sympathies. On a whim, they continue their correspondence and a rapport grows between them. They eventually meet, where they extend their e-mail exchanges into more personal and intimate conversations. What began as a tragedy that linked two strangers from different ends of the world becomes a deeply realized friendship that may change their lives forever.

Related:

Movie Wood: Alessandro Calza

Morning Glory: Alessandro Calza

CIAO: Every Ending Has a New Beginning

Cock-a-maimy Index

Last night, "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" reported some good news out of Kinshasa, the sprawling capital of Democratic Republic of Congo. It seems the authorities have just arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Needless to say, the country's Penis Theft Advisory Level has been lowered accordingly. They couldn't have done this without the biggest dick of all. Thanks, Mr. Ashcroft!

Morning Wood: Carlos Freire

International Jock returned to the source for its latest model, Brazilian Carlos Freire. Who do you like better, Carlos or the sexy underwear/swimwear maker's previous flavor of the month, Edilson Nascimento?

Page 1 Consider (04/29)

Like Peanut Butter and Jelly: "Lipstick Jungle" hottie Robert Buckley and Heather Locklear together in a new Lifetime Television for Women movie? You betcha! God, I hope it's a remake of "My Stepson, My Lover." (GossipGirls)

Sun Devil: Aaron Brown, the former CNN anchor who got dumped when Anderson Cooper caught the network's eye, is back in front of the camera joining PBS' "Wide Angle" series and ending his on-air absence of more than two years. Brown, 59, who left CNN in November 2005 said he was contractually barred from working in TV until last June. He's been teaching at my Alma mater, the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism at Arizona State University. (AP)

Your Cheatin' Steroid-Infused Heart: Roger Clemens' defamation of "character" lawsuit against former trainer turned accuser Brian McNamee was dealt an underage blow yesterday when it was revealed that the Rocket had carried on a 10-year affair with a girl he met at a karaoke bar when she was just 15 and he was a 28-year-old married father of two. Mindy McCready, who went on to have a successful but brief career as a country singer in Nashville before personal problems derailed her life, confirmed the relationship with the Daily News last night after the story broke in yesterday morning's paper: "I cannot refute anything in the story," a tearful but resolute McCready said. The News reported that Clemens used to send her bundles of cash via FedEx and even reached out to her after they'd split when she was locked up for assaulting her own mother(!) while on probation for writing bogus prescriptions (Clemens knows a class act when he sees one!). Knowing that McCready is in the midst of trying to relaunch of her career with a new album and reality show it would be easy to question her motives for admitting the affair. But it reads like the lyrics of a really good Tammy Wynette song, so I'd rather not. (NYDN)

Nutty Ruling: Florida's got balls to ban these ornaments. (NowPublic)

The Face on the Milk Carton: Out In Hollywood wants to know: whatever happened to Thomas Roberts? (OIH)

Blush: Miley Cyrus says she's "embarrassed" by her racy photo shoot in Vanity Fair by Annie Leibovitz. Now she knows how we all felt about her dad in the '90s. (AP)

2good 2be 4gotten: I was sad to read in yesterday's Daily News that its very own Gatecrasher, Ben Widdicombe, was hanging up his portable tape recorder. I met Ben along with Robin Byrd(!) at a rather tragic Lance Bass book party and we immediately hit it off. I hope he enjoys his time off and returns to the New York scene soon. (DailyIntel)

Bunch of Sallies: Queerty has the 411 on the GLAAD media awards. (I loved her sitcom, but does Ellen always have to dress in drag???) (Queerty)

Celebrity Justice: First Robert Blake gets away with murder. Now an appeals court in Los Angeles has cut the civil case jury award in half. Time to call Phil Spector to celebrate. (AP)

Gas-Food-Lodging: How much is Hillary paying the Rev. Jeramiah Wright to talk to the media ad nauseam? He really doesn't want Barack Obama to be president, does he? (AP)

Loverboy 2

It's been one Patrick Dempsey sighting in New York after the next (yes, I'd love the pizza with extra anchovies). Above, Patrick arrives at the "Made of Honor" premiere at the Zeigfeld Theater in Midtown (is that Candis Cayne with him?). Below, Patrick and his "Made of Honor" co-star Michelle Monaghan, stop by MTV's "TRL" studios in Times Square.

Downtown

While all the "big" stars were down in Washington for the White House Correspondents Dinner -- like Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Jenny McCarthy, Ashlee Simpson and Pamela Anderson (how did a Canadian get through that security?) -- New York was left with a few D-listers here in the city attending the 7th annual Tribeca Film Festival. Here are some of my faves:

Debbie Harry, looking like she borrowed a line from Cher and turned back time at the "SqueezeBox" premiere (she's in it!) Julianne Moore and Matthew Modine -- who's morphing into Ed Begley Jr., I'm afraid -- at the "Savage Grace" premiere (this creepy Mom-gay son incenst drama looks fab-u-lous!)
Mariah Carey -- who finally took her f**king sunglasses off for one photo -- and Tribeca Film Festival co-founder Robert DeNiro at the premiere of her film "Tennessee," in which she plays a waitress (wasn't that the description of her other indie, "WiseGirls"?) Madonna at the premiere of her Malawi documentary, "I Am Because We Are"; and Trudie Styler, performance artist Philippe Petit, and Sting attend at "Man On Wire" (WireImage)

Mr. Broadway 2008

Did anyone make it to the Broadway Beauty Pageant last night at New World Stages? Well, I think it's safe to say their PR budget wasn't very big seeing as I only heard about it as it was happening, but the event was a fundraiser for the Ali Forney Center, which provides housing for homeless LBGT youth. While it may be too late to attend the compeition -- anyone know who won? -- it's not too late to make a tax-deductible donation to this worthy cause. Click here for details. Here are three of the hottest contestants from last night's festivities:

Daniel Robinson: Mr. Hairspray

Tommy Berklund: Mr. Chorus Line

Joe Komara: Mr. Grease

Sur'fs (Way) Up!

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Morning Wood: In Brief(s)

Jameswinston Co. wants to be your fave new underwear company. With ads like these, I'd say they're on the right track ...