The Way We Was

 

In addition to the fact that my brother Bill is no longer with us, this is horrifying because I have vivid memories of my niece being not quite 2 when we gathered in Southern California for my stepfather's 60th birthday -- and now I've spent the past two weeks helping her choose a college for next fall! 

Follows appreciated on Instagram and Threads, which is Instagram for words! 

And now this is nearly a decade ago.

Song of the Day: 'Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again)' by Kris Kristofferson and Rosanne Cash

 

Rest in peace, Kris Kristofferson. I’m so sorry for our loss.

Remains of the Day (09/27)

Out: New gay teen romance "Bonus Track" is coming soon to theaters

The Signorile Report: Where are the corporate media stories about DonOLD's gay porn buddy?

Boy Culture: Maggie Smith dies at 89

The Randy Report: Thailand approves same-sex marriage, in a first for Southeast Asia

Saturday 'Stache: The kind of guy you want to bring home to Mom ... (his boyfriend, too)

Page Six: This cougar knew what she was doing when she preyed on a teenager in 2009

Med Page Today: Sexual and gender minorities more likely to have adverse brain outcomes, such as stroke, dementia and late-life depression

People: Riley Keough cried finishing mom Lisa Marie Presley’s memoir

Pajiba: "American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez" is literally too gay to function ... does someone need to take Ryan Murphy's keys away? 

The Advocate: Gay student assaulted after year-long bullying at California high school

Gucci: Nan Goldin did beautiful Debbie Harry right

NYP: Madonna’s earliest recordings on auction at the Chelsea Hotel? Original portraits by Basquiat? It’s enough to bring out your inner “Material Girl.”

Variety: Paul Simon plays private, star-studded show at New York loft

Gimme Shelter: Heart singer Ann Wilson lists $2 million waterfront Florida home

Speedo Sunday: For those who like 'em big and hairy

Hot Cat of the Day: Chocolate takes a work call

Born different; A chat with writer-director-actress Honey Lauren, whose film "Mistake" takes on the topic of being born intersex -- in the '40s.

Song of the Day: I love it when an artist releases an album specifically for me(!)

On the Rag, Vol. 827

 

"Heartstopper" stars are making out just fine; Zane Phillips channels Ryan Idol's "Score 10"; meet the new director of the White House Office of National AIDS Policy; and more in this week's rag 'n' mag roundup BELOW.

Have You Seen This Man?

Message exchange from this morning between and a former Orange County Register (where I worked 1990-93) colleague and me:

Me:

Hey! Do you have any idea what ever became of our part-time colleague named Rob? I can’t even remember his last name but he popped into my head this morning.

Her:

I remember him (and how he wasn’t shy about farting aloud—!). Just woke up, so let me think a bit and his name might come back to me.

I know this could sound like I’m mixing his last name up with Walter’s, but I’m not—was it Rob XXXXX?

Me:

It’s funny because that was my guess but I worked with a Rob XXXXX at DJN so I wondered if that was clouding my memory!

Can’t positively remember any other distinguishing things so it’s going to be a hard one to search online!

Med school wannabe? Indian wife? Seal Beach?

Or maybe just younger, needy wife? 🤣

Her:

Young but such a receding hairline that he kept his remaining sandy-blond hair very short; a little tall (by usual standards—he’d have been short by my 6-foot-plus family’s) and in early dad-bod mode; soft, bearded jawline; no glasses; very smart but a little smug

And the “needy wife” rings a bell, though I’m sure I never met her

I remember him being the first (and almost last) person to tell me about the book “Iron John,” and I’m pretty sure he was into the fad of drumming (kind of a New Age guy thing)

Me: 

We just need someone to draw a police composite based on this information!

UPDATE:

Her:

Me: Did you do that? 

It actually does resemble him, although the hairline is rather generous lol

Her:  Yeah—it’s hard to draw smug, intelligent but dorky simultaneously

And it’s REALLY hard to draw stubble

Me: But what a memory; very impressive.

Cat Got My Tongue?

 

Forgive me for being missing in action. Had a busy afternoon with a doctor's appointment and friend in town. Back tomorrow -- flu shot and second shingles vaccine permitting! 

Weekly Tennis Roundup

Team Europe reclaimed the Laver Cup while Shang, Cilic, Sramkova and Haddad Maia won titles on the Asia swing. Full report plus all the ATP beef that's fit to post BELOW.

Newfest Film Festival Comes to NYC, Oct. 10-22

Newfest -- New York's famed LGBTQ+ Film Festival -- begins Thursday, Oct. 10, and looks promising, with 12 days of new films -- as well as some memorable ones from the archives including trans classic "Dressed in Blue" (1983), "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark" (1988) and the 50th anniversary of John Waters's "Female Trouble" (1974). (There will also be screenings of "Pecker" and "Polyester.") 

A quick look at the schedule and I'm excited to see "I Don't Understand You," in which Andrew Rannells and Nick Kroll play a couple whose picture-perfect vacation takes a hilarious turn toward disaster; the documentary 'Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story"; and "A Nice Indian Boy" ("Karan Soni and Jonathan Groff star in this jubilant rom-com about cultural differences and joyful family reconciliations"), which is the opening-night film + party. 

For the complete line-up and tickets, click HERE.

P.S.  They're also screening the first two episodes of the acclaimed Bridget Everett series "Somebody, Somewhere," which I absolutely adore! 

As seen on the corner near my apartment. Who says old-school advertising doesn't work?

Tennis Tuesday: Zane Phillips

No one is less surprised than me that the "Glamourous" hunk plays with wood. More BELOW.

My Funny Valentines

It's been a difficult one. Woke up to the news that a beloved college professor had died, which at 91 wouldn't have been surprising in and of itself. But in reading a tribute to her I learned that her husband and her daughter (Karin) -- to whom I was very close back in college -- had both "preceded her in death." 

I was stunned. I haven't seen Karin in ages so to me she's still a 21-year-old horse-riding beauty, full of promise with her entire life ahead. Memories of the four of us laughing at their dinner table in Tempe, Ariz., came rushing back to me: Karin (who is my age), so kind and thoughtful, always up for an adventure in my convertible VW; Profs. Dad (Gene, who'd been my sociolinguistics professor) and Mom (Kristin). so welcoming, the kind of parents an aspiring pseudointellectual like me dreamed of having. I remember I was nursing a broken heart when they first adopted me, providing a sounding board and sympathetic ear that I didn't feel I could get at home.

The details of the demise of the Valentine family only made the situation more heartbreaking. It seems my friend died of breast cancer a couple years ago; Kristin and Gene had moved to assisted living but were separated because Gene had Alzheimer's and needed a higher level of care. (He died in 2022 and of course was cremated by the Neptune Society -- so Prof. Valentine of him.) I'm told Dr. V -- as we called Kristin -- was still on her own, even camping, until till this summer before moving to hospice on Monday of the week she died in August. ("She was a force," as my friend Debra put it.) 

But those who saw her regularly said she was never the same after her daughter died, a prospect I can only imagine. 

I was happy to read that my friend has a scholarship named after her -- the Karin Valentine Science Communication Award. But right now I'm aching with regret that my attempt to reach her online a number of years ago failed was thwarted by that "other" folder on Facebook -- yet another reason to dislike Mark Zuckerberg. 

RIP to the Valentine family. I'm truly heartbroken to know that you're all gone. xo

Remains of the Day (09/20)

PinkNews: Actor John Barrowman had "thoughts of suicide" after flashing scandal 

The Randy Report: Gov. Andy Beshear bans conversion therapy in Kentucky, setting up legal battle

NYDN: Apparently it's not acceptable for a doctor to "compliment" his patients' penises(!) 

Interview: John Early, in conversation with Sky Ferreira: "Are you gay?"

Saturday 'Stache: All you can eat, all right

Smithsonian: The Hotel Chelsea's iconic neon sign will be divided into pieces and sold one letter at a time

Dekko: A dangerous man invades a nude gay campground in the provocative thriller "Birder"

Megan McArdle: The Tupperware party was good while it lasted

Boy Culture: The new Ryan Murphy series about the Menendez brothers has a smokin' hot star -- and a gratuitous "twist"

DNA: Teenage boys arrested for homophobic attacks in Australia on men lured via dating app

People: Casts of your favorite 1990s shows -- including "Melrose Place" -- reunite 

Attitude: What we know so far about the Matt Bomer-Nathan lane sitcom "Mid-Century Modern" 

MetroWeekly: Anti-LGBT North Carolina GOP gubernatorial nominee accused of claiming to be a "Black Nazi," defending slavery, liking transgender porn and bashing gays, Muslims, and Jews on an adult message board.

PinkNews: Meet the other hot actor from “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Ménendez Story”

Speedo Sunday: The kind of guy you always hope to see dressed like this at the beach

Hot Cat of the Day: Try to guess if I'm obsessed with a new Instagram account that visits the city's cutest bodega cats, like Tutu! 

RIP:: Sad to hear about the passing of Valarie D’Elia, whose "Travel With Val" was a NY1 fixture for years. She was just 64 and died of Lou Gehrig's disease.

Nasty Pigs: For 30 years, David Lauterstein has been making jockstraps, harnesses and other gear with his partner. In a new memoir, he paints a (very) colorful portrait of gay New York in the 1990s.

Shecon: Billie Jean King to become first solo female athlete to receive Congressional Gold Medal

On the Rag, Vol. 826

 

Steve Grand's second act; see who made the Out 100; it's (always) leather season in San Francisco; and more in this week's rag 'n' mag roundup BELOW.

Song of the Day: 'You're Only Lonely' by JD Souther

 

Sad to read about the death of legendary singer-songwriter JD Souther, whose credits include “The Best of My Love,” “Victim of Love,” “Heartache Tonight,” “New Kid in Town” (Eagles), “Faithless Love,” “White Rhythm and Blues” (Linda Ronstadt), “The Heart of the Matter" (Don Henley), and “Her Town Too," on which he also duetted with James Taylor. Souther also hit the Top 10 as a solo artist, with 1979's "You're Only Lonely," which sounded like the hit single Roy Orbison forgot to record. 

When I talk about a the kind of lives people don't live anymore, Souther's quickly comes to mind. In addition to being part of the Laurel Canyon scene and collaborating with some of the most famous people of that golden era, he also dated Linda Ronstadt and Stevie Nicks -- and his Hollywood Hills house was the backdrop for the "Yes or No" video by the Go-Go's, in which he lands Belinda Carlisle by the song's end. 

RIP. And thank you for the music. 🙏

Kathy Valentine writes: 

@jdsouther ~ a talented, handsome gentleman who I had the pleasure of knowing a bit in my early LA years. I always hoped our paths would cross again. He told me he felt I was going places and would do well for myself. But mainly he was charming and kind and fun and treated an aspiring little rocker chick from Texas like I belonged. Hard to believe this, seemed to happen out of nowhere.

Belinda Carlisle's IG story

The Berlin Diaries

It was a regular Men at Play photo shoot today in Berlin, where the players were decked out to promote this weekend's Laver Cup. (Apparently Rafael Nadal will not be announcing his retirement as widely anticipated, with Grigor Dimitrov stepping in for Team Europe.) See who wore it best BELOW.

Leaving 'Normal'

Seen outside the New York Times building in Times Square earlier today, where protesters accused the Gray Lady of "sanewashing." 

One Night in Sofia

The bromance between Novak Djokovic and Grigor Dimitrov was on full display Monday night in Bulgaria -- where the two of them put on quite an "exhibition.” View BELOW.

Remains of the Day (09/17)

Attitude: 10 erotic images that explore the voyeuristic world of an Athens gay cinema

Boy Culture: How to promote your book when you're obsessed with Madonna, Tori Amos and Lana Del Rey -- and BFFs with Busy Philipps

PinkNews: Joe Biden becomes first sitting U.S. president to be interviewed by gay news publication

ABC News: Because sometimes you just need to make a juice-box run

IG: Molly Ringwald hosts Harris-Walz event in NYC and everyone cool showed up 

NYT: “If Bret Easton Ellis, Augusten Burroughs and Don DeLillo were to meet up for dinner, [Will] Self would be a logical fourth.” 

The Advocate: St. Louis cop out of job after controversial gay bar crash arrest

Les Guzman: How am I only now hearing this fun story about Debbie Harry's "Rockbird"?

Out: Greg Berlanti looks back on iconic "Dawson's Creek" gay kiss in Emmy speech

Homomacabre: Let's hear it for the Mr. Tush Contest

Hot Cat of the Day: "Kick my fucking seat again, I dare you."

Doms and Substacks:

The Caftan Chronicles: Author, therapist and "Sacred Intimate" bodyworker Don Shewey is having a ton of sex at 70

Where's the Party? "Getting In" flyer king David Kennerley in conversation with Club Kid Ernie Glam

Ask a Sober Oldster: Go-Go's bassist and memoirist Kathy Valentine on the best parts of her post-drinking life

To a Green Thought: Why publishing a book always feels a little humiliating, even when things go well

Inbox: Friend received this with the caption “Mom in a community theater production of Grease.”

I want my MTV: The Video Music Awards debuted 40 years ago -- and the show had nowhere to go but down!