While at the gym last night I "saw" my first episode of "Two and a Half Men" in the distance on the television above the elliptical machines. As everyone knows, Charlie Sheen has dominated entertainment headlines in recent weeks since his latest freakout, Yet the whole time I was reading abpit "the star of the megahit CBS sitcom," I couldn't help but think of the cute boy I longed for from "Lucas," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Platoon," the most recent things I've seen him in. It was at that moment that I began thinking of just how big of a freak the average American would think I am if they only knew the half of it -- and I'm only talking about on paper. This realization has nothing to do with thinking I'm better than anyone -- God knows I watch "Real Housewives" shows like they're going out of style and love a bargain as much as the next guy. But it did make me realize that without "The Soup," I would essentially be my mom where pop culture is concerned -- and in some ways makes me even more out of the mainstream than my left-wing politics. (Can't everything be about tennis, New York City and '80s New Wave music?)
You Might Be Me If ...
1. You've never lived in a city that has a Walmart
2. You've never seen an episode of "Dancing With the Stars," "American Idol" or "Survivor"
3. You can't name -- and are pretty sure you've never heard -- a song by Garth Brooks
4. You have never seen a NASCAR race
5. You have never read a Stephen King/Dan Brown/Dean Koontz novel
6. You have never attended a football game -- ever -- even in high school or college
7. You have never seen an episode of "Home Improvement" or "Everybody Loves Raymond" -- or "The Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno"
8. You've never voted for a Republican -- even in a mock election (I spearheaded the John Anderson for President campaign at Rhodes Junior High in 1980)
9. You've never seen an episode of any "CSI" or any other initial-based CBS show
10 You've never seen a "Star Wars"/"Star Trek"/"Harry Potter"/"Matrix" (etc.) movie
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
You Might Be a Redneck an East Coast Liberal If ...
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6 comments:
It's been obvious to me for a long time that we have a lot in common. I mean, my hardcore daily feed is made up of your blog, Towleroad, My New Plaid Pants, and Joe My God. (God, I miss Modern Fabulousity....)
Anyhow, here goes:
1. You've never lived in a city that has a Walmart True
2. You've never seen an episode of "Dancing With the Stars," "American Idol" or "Survivor" True, except for "Survivor". Loved the first season, stopped watching years ago.
3. You can't name -- and are pretty sure you've never heard -- a song by Garth Brooks True
4. You have never seen a NASCAR race True
5. You have never read a Stephen King/Dan Brown/Dean Koontz novel False. Went through a phase when I read a lot of horror. Finally noticed I only had to read every other page to get all I needed from that gasbag King, and chucked it all.
6. You have never attended a football game -- ever -- even in high school or college False, the key word being "attended". Went to a lot of high school games when I was growing up in small town Pennsylvania, but I never watched the games themselves. I was there to socialize, often under the bleachers.
7. You have never seen an episode of "Home Improvement" or "Everybody Loves Raymond" True
8. You've never voted for a Republican -- even in a mock election (I spearheaded the John Anderson for President campaign at Rhodes Junior High in 1980) False. I live in DC, and sometimes vote against the more corrupt elements of the local Democratic party.
9. You've never seen an episode of any "CSI" or any other initial-based CBS show True
10 You've never seen a "Star Wars"/"Star Trek"/"Harry Potter"/"Matrix" (etc.) movie False
I'll add another one, which may wind up being my sole claim to fame, and should be engraved on my tombstone:
Never went to a McDonald's. I suspect that makes me close to unique.
OMG, I was an Anderson person, too! But I was still in elementary, I think in 7th grade. I thought it was cool to be "Independent." Which is why most grown-up Independents are Independents, too.
The only time I was at a football game was while in marching band. At half-time. In high school. With my trombone.
Can I still pretend I was you?
Kenneth, I myself am out of step when it comes to gay stuff, but I'm a pop-culture junkie, and can't claim much on your list.
1. Wal-Mart causes pangs of guilt in me, but I can't help getting my cat stuff and toiletry stuff there. It's like 30% cheaper, and the same brands.
2. Guilty of AI and Survivor. Couldn't give a rip about Dancing.
3. I'm with you on Brooks.
4. Same thing with NASCAR, though I was in the amusement industry, and have done safety inspections.
5. Love King & Koontz. Those who diss them are usually snobs (present company excluded).
6. Football, meh. But I was a band geek, so was at every HS game.
7. Caught those shows only in reruns, but am proud to have never watched "According to Jim" or "King of Queens."
8. Rarely have voted GOP, especially in my very young years. Reagan and GHWB, sadly.
9. Original CSI is a must if only for the spectacular George Eads. The rest are good for noise while on the computer, but not much else.
10. And here you've lost me. Especially Star Trek. Every edition, every movie, even the "bad" ones. Can't you even be tempted by Zachary Quinto?
had the pleasure of seeing him in Memphis, TN at The Pyramid back in 1998. It is a concert that I will never forget Garth Brooks Tickets were great and I have been a GB fan from the day I heard The Dance... I will be a fan til the day I die.
I'm with you mostly... somewhat... not really. However, I do appreciate your commentary.
1. WAL-MART: I live in Jefferson City, Missouri. Of course I've been to Wal-Mart. However, going there is a major chore, so I minimize the frequency of visits and amount of things I purchase.
2. DANCING/AI/SURVIVOR: None of the above. We don't watch any TV whatsoever (our old TV set is in the garage). My friend Sara refers to us as "one of those people."
3. GARTH BROOKS: Don't tell me you've never heard of "Friends in Low Places." I can't stand country music, but even I've heard that song ad nauseum.
4. NASCAR: God, no. My family are all fans, though. To me, it's like watching traffic.
5. KING/BROWN/KOONTZ: I'm not much of a fiction reader, but my husband loves Stephen King.
6. FOOTBALL: I, too, was in marching band. No one back home came to see the football team anyway. They lost every game, but the band was fabulous.
7. HOME IMPROVEMENT: I'll admit to watching "Home Improvement" with my dad. It was one of the shows we could both agree on. Doris Roberts' character on "Raymond" reminds me of my mother.
8. GOP: Often times in small Midwestern communities, you just don't have a Democratic candidate on the ballot. By default, I will vote for the Democrat, but sometimes I don't have a choice.
9. CSI: Still no TV in our house.
10. STAR WARS, ET. AL.: You've never seen Star Wars? Seriously? You are a Gen-Xer, aren't you?
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