RUNWAY 6.9

*THIS POST IS BEING MADE BY (212) CONTRIBUTOR FRANK ANTHONY POLITO

Craig and I alone in the Park Slope Party pad again last night. Not sure where the rest of the Project Runway watchers were. The weather here in the (212) [and the (347)] was wet and cold... So much for "Autumn in New York" -- we've moved on to Winter! Only 8 designers left. Heidi arrives, gives a clue that this will be "an opportunity to shine" and informs that tonight's look "must upstage the rest." A quick meeting with Tim Gunn follows, along with this evening's celebrity guest judge, Bob Mackie. Admittedly, I don't know much about fashion, but I do know the name and will forever associated it with Cher. Right off, we can tell this is going to be a fun challenge: "Create an extravagent stage look for Christina Aguilera." Admittedly, I'm not a huge Christina fan, but I do love her "Dirty" video with all the hot, dirty men writhing around. 

Immediately, Nicolas begins gushing. Over Bob Mackie. Over Christina Aguilera. This is the challenge of his life. He's designed for the stage before. Etc, etc, etc. Immediately Craig says, "He bugs me." I concur. His stringy hair alone is enough to annoy me. 30 minuets to sketch. $300 budget. 2 days to design... Off to Mood! Everyone grabs for the feathers and sequins and anything that sparkles... Back to the workroom. Nicolas promises he's going to gives us a major "couture look." Craig says, "Shut up."

Poor Shirin! She's got this "Count Dracula red" (her words) fabric going on.

Christopher decides on an '80s inspired "Prom look." Bitch Irina starts picking apart Carol "Honnah." (FYI, her name is Carol Hannah!) Logan worries his look is "too simple" and admits he's not big into Ms. Aguilera either. (Another attempt at affirming his straightness?) Gordana is "frazzled" when the beads on her fabric keep fallinf off. Thankfully she has immunity this week. (Spoiler alert! Good thing.)

Gordana

After the commercial break...

Gordana decides to scrap her entire design. She will be "Speedy Gonzalez" and start over on Day 2. Shirin has decided her look is "Hollywood '40s glamour." Tim arrives to critique... Tim to Christopher: "Should be super sexy and slutty." (If there's a reveal.) Tim to Nicolas: "Talk about deja vu." (Looks like his Ice Princess from when he actually won.) Tim to Shirin: "Like Guinevere meets Vampira." (This does not bode well!) Bitch Irina begins dissing Shirin. She says her designs are "bargain basement" and wonders, "Why is she here?" She also comments that "way better designers are gone." Newflash for Irina! There's no doubt that she's talented. But hasn't she learned... Nobody likes a bitch! (Remember Kenley?)

Is Irina the new Kenley?

The models arrive for their fitting.... Logan and Carol Hannah have a "moment." She admits he's a good friend..."who's hot." I'm sure Nick and Adam would agree -- if they were here! (Seriously, where have those boys been?) The Day of the Show, Y'all...

Tim returns. "Thoughtfully!"

I decide that Nicolas' look is very "Vegas showgirl." All it needs is a headdress.

Nicolas

Irina calls Carol Hannah "mediocre." (Spoiler alert! Prepare to eat your words, Irina.) Runway, runway, runway...

Judges: Bob Mackie, Nina Garcia, and Christina A., herself. (And I was just getting used to Zanna Don't!) Our faves include: 1) Nicolas (ashamed to admit), 2) Carol Hannah, 3) Irina (Craig: "She's good, that bitch!")

Irina

And yet... Irina is the first sent to safety.

As is Gordana. Heidi: "You're lucky you have immunity. It was a disaster."

Personally, I didn't think Gordana's dress was that bad. The boobs looked a little funny, but that's about it. Heidi to Carol Hannah: "That was a WOW dress." (Take that, Irina!)

Carol Hannah

Heidi to Shirin: "Upscale witch Halloween dress."

Shirin

Heidi to Althea: Likes "the bum."

Althea

Christopher is told his look is a revisit of Christina's "Lady Marmalade" look. Bob Mackie tells him he needs a better corsett. It looks like "the road company of the Pussy Cat Dolls." Christina likes his vision of a Cyndi Lauper style look which morphes into signature C.A., but it doesn't quite add up.

Christopher

At this point, I'm thinking: Christopher's onbottom again (no comment!)? How many chances is Beard Boy going to get? Craig says, "He's fallen off the boat." Logan's look is criticized as being too "Cave Woman" by Christina.

Logan Top 3: Nicolas, Carol Hannah, Althea

Bottom 3: Shirin, Christopher, Logan

Results...

Althea: in

Carol Hannah: winner (Eat it, Irina!)

Nicolas: in

Logan: in

Heidi tells Christopher: "Inexpensive repeat of Lady Marmalade."

Heidi tells Shirin: "You bored us."

And Shirin is aut.

Personally, I'm shock-ed. I'd have to look back at my previous posts -- which I'm not going to because I don't care that much -- but I don't recall Shirin ever being in the bottom 3 before. And this is Christopher's 3rd time, at least... What the f*** Project Runway? Isn't this Lifetime "TV for women"?

*Project Runway airs Thursdays at 10PM on Lifetime TV.

*FRANK ANTHONY POLITO is a Brooklyn-based writer and author of the novels Band Fags! and Drama Queers! He holds his MFA in Dramatic Writing from the Carnegie Mellon School of Drama.