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Good Stuff: Leave it to the best interviewer alive, Howard Stern, to bring out the fun side of the usually stiff but always gay fabulous Martha Stewart. During a recent interview on Stern's Sirius Satellite Radio show, Stewart denied ever having lesbian sex in prison, but admitted she saw many beautiful women there -- and that she'd witnessed several female inmates involved in sexual relations. Well, sort of. "So you never saw two girls getting it on in front of you?" asked Stern. "Oh yes," replied Stewart. "Not naked girls, but I saw them in the dark. They had trysts behind the buildings and the doorways." According to Martha, the butch women liked her the most. "Some girls that looked like boys were actually the ones who would come on to me," Stewart said. "If they asked me for lunch and they were interesting, I would have lunch with them. There were girls with mustaches, and there were girls with beards. And they shaved ... I would be walking down the little road outside the prison [and I'd ask myself] 'How'd that boy get in here?' when it was actually a girl." (PlanetOut)

Fat Chance of Parenthood: In a move that can only described as hilarious shocking, China is tightening rules on foreign adoptions, barring parents who are unmarried, over 50 or obese. The move comes amid a surge in foreign applications to adopt Chinese children. The United States is the No. 1 destination for children adopted abroad, but the number going to Europe and elsewhere is rising. It's a good thing Ann Wilson of Heart got those kids when she did. (NYT)

Someone Better Call Andra: Is something fruity in the water over there in Colorado? New Life Church -- still reeling from the fall of its charismatic founder Ted Haggard -- was "stunned" when a second church pastor left due to sexual impropriety. The delightfully named Christopher Beard, 35, who led the young-adult leadership program twentyfourseven, resigned after telling New Life’s Board of Overseers about a one-time sexual encounter he had several years ago, before he was married. (Yeah, right!) In a statement released Monday evening, New Life said Beard had "displayed poor judgment in several decisions throughout his tenure. This poor judgment included one instance of consensual sexual contact with another unmarried adult several years ago." Wasn't this dude the star of the low-budget reality show "Boy Meets Boy"? (Gazette)

Steak and Ail: Police in Scottsdale, Ariz., are investigating an alleged hate crime reported by a gay couple who said they were jumped by as many as seven men outside a Scottsdale restaurant near McDowell and Scottsdale roads. As they held hands and began to leave Frasher's Steakhouse late Sunday, May-December lovers Jean Rolland and Andrew Frost said they were humiliated and beaten in the restaurant's entryway. Frost, 19, was taken to Scottsdale Healthcare Osborn, where he was treated and released. Frost received several staples to treat a wound on his scalp, and several stitches to seal other wounds to his face. Rolland, 28, suffered minor injuries. The men, who had been dating for a couple of weeks, are seeking to press charges against their attackers -- none of whom have been arrested as of Monday afternoon, according to Scottsdale police. It's awful to hear about something like this happening in your own hometown, but what on earth were two gay boys doing in South Scottsdale in the first place? (Advocate)

Pot, Kettle; Kettle, Pot: Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney said Monday he opposes discrimination against gays and lesbians despite his ongoing efforts to outlaw same-sex marriage in the state. Romney, who is preparing for a possible run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2008, defended a letter he wrote during his unsuccessful 1994 Senate run in which he promised a gay Republican group that he would be a stronger advocate for gays than Sen. Edward Kennedy. Romney, who apparently has his head stuck up his ass, said there was nothing inconsistent between his position then and his vigorous opposition to same-sex marriage in Massachusetts now. "I'm not in favor of discrimination of any kind, including people who have a different sexual preference than myself," he said. "At the same time I'm very committed to traditional marriage between one man and one woman and believe that marriage should be preserved in that way." All right then. So I'm guessing Mitt thinks it's OK for blacks to ride on public buses, as long as they ride in the back. Oh, and thanks for reminding us that you love the heterosexual intercourse. Got it. (AP)

FU, EU: According to a Eurobarometer poll, published Tuesday, the majority of the European Union population is against homosexual marriages. A poll taken of 12,500 people, conducted between November 30 and December 15 by the European Commission, shows that only 44 percent of Europeans approve of homosexual marriages. Homosexual marriages are highly approved in the Netherlands, where about 88 percent of the country supports homosexual marriages. This ratio is 15% in Greece and 14 percent in South Cyprus. That's funny because 100 percent of the gay guys I know wish all Europeans would wear deodorant and seek dental care, so I guess we can agree to disagree. (Sabah)