The Faces Behind 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'

NOTE TO READERS: As part of SLDN's Stories From the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama campaign, each day about two-dozen bloggers -- including myself -- will be posting heartfelt letters to President Obama from members of our armed forces who want Washington -- and the world -- to know the importance of repealing "don't ask, don't tell." The campaign is already making waves, and was even mentioned on Ed O'Keefe's Federal Eye blog in The Washington Post.

Today's letter is from Former 1st Lieutenant Laura Slattery:

May 5, 2010


President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

I may be stating perhaps an obvious truism: Love is confusing.

As a friend and, later in life, a chaplain, I have counseled many as they tried to navigate the toughest of love‘s questions: Is this the person I should marry? Is this infatuation or love, and how can I know the difference? Should I take the relationship to the next level?

The first time I fell in love, it was just as confusing. I knew I was in love, but with a woman. It was a severe test for me. I had never been in a same-sex relationship and didn‘t see myself as gay. Yet the fact remained — I was in love.

Adding to the confusion, and the fear of the whole experience (love can be scary enough on its own!), was the fact that I had just graduated from West Point and was serving as a Second Lieutenant (2LT) at Schofield Barracks.

I had gone to West Point, to a large degree, because of the code of honor. Integrity has always been, of all the values, the one I hold most dear. My mother had graduated from UCLA and I remember clearly the day she told me how disappointed she was when she saw some of her students buying and selling papers they had written.

At that moment I thought: Nope, that is not going to happen to me. I am going to a school that matches my desire and need for honesty and integrity.

So there I was – in love with a woman – and a brand new 2LT on a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

The easiest thing for me to do -- and the course of action I tried -- was to encourage myself to run from love. I also considered confiding in others, but given the horror stories of investigations and removals from duty, I decided against it. The thought of the shame of being interrogated and kicked out of the Service for something I wasn‘t even sure I was (a lesbian!), was too much to bear.

In the short three years that I was on active duty, I was Airborne and Air Assault (first female Distinguished Honor Graduate). During the First Gulf War, I volunteered to go to Iraq. Due to the needs of the Army, however, I remained in the Pacific -- working in the 25th Infantry Division.

The values of physical work, integrity, service and team building made the Army an almost ideal place for me. I may have continued serving if I had felt more a part of the team.

I was well-liked and had friends, but not being able to share the biggest struggle in my life (and the biggest joy) with my peers and military friends prevented me from really forming the kind of friendships that one needs to feel as an integral part of a team.

It’s the warmth and support of a team that is truly needed for real “unit cohesion” among the officer corps and with the troops. It is necessary to continue to risk life and limb for each other.

In the end we risked everything not only for our country, but for our country personified in and by our buddies, members of that integral team. Not feeling that, I resigned my commission in September of 1991.

If I can be so bold, Mr. President: we need to help soldiers, and all people really, develop healthy understandings of what it is to be human, divorced from antiquated stereotypes about gender and gender roles.

“Macho” has no place in the modern professional Army; put downs and negative comparisons to the feminine are also hurtful to the Esprit de Corps of the Forces.

I know that you have based your Administration on creating a culture of respect for difference, of developing your version of “unit cohesion” based on the values of inclusion and diversity, not in spite of them.

This is the direction that the military needs to go, and it can start by repealing DADT now.


Sincerely,


Former First Lieutenant Laura Slattery
United State Army

Tweet Cute: A Blogger and a Reader Follow Each Other to the Altar

Aug. 30, 2023

Luis Damian Veron and Kenneth Michael Walsh were married Aug. 27 at the Little Church of the West in Las Vegas. Alejandra Paloma Rodriguez, Mr. Veron's sister and an ordained Universal Life Church minister, officiated. 

The couple had originally planned to wed at the New York City Marriage Bureau in early 2020 followed by a rooftop reception at The Kimberly Hotel, before the Centers for Disease Control recommended that social events be postponed. 

Mr. Veron (right), 45, is a senior project manager at Trustforte Corporation, an academic equivalency and translation service in Manhattan. He received a bachelor of arts in political science from Rutgers University and a master's in international relations from New York University. He is also a freelance writer, whose articles and reviews have appeared in The Daily Beast and Towleroad.com.

He is the son of Benedicto Damian Veron, of Gainesville, Fla., and Angela Elsa Veron, of Landing, N.J. His parents emigrated from Argentina in 1970, shortly after the birth of their first daughter. 

Mr. Veron’s maternal grandmother, the late Josefina, as a young widow spent days on end outside Casa Rosada, the presidential palace in Buenos Aires, attempting to garner the attention of Eva Peron, wife of President Juan Peron, in the hope of procuring a home for herself and her three small children through the first lady's Eva Peron Foundation. The effort proved fruitful. In fact, shortly after moving into the new residence, Mr. Veron's grandmother decided she preferred a better-situated house on a corner lot and successfully lobbied to relocate. (The home remains in the family to this day.) 

Mr. Walsh, 56, is a publishing editor at The Wall Street Journal in Manhattan. He was previously a staff editor for The New York Times News Service. He graduated with a bachelor's degree from the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Communication at Arizona State University. He has written the award-winning LGBT blog Kenneth in the (212) since 2005, and his memoir, "Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful?," was published in 2014 by Riverdale Avenue Books.

He is a son of the late William Walsh, of Schuylkill Haven, Pa., and Molly Chilinski, of Eloy, Ariz., and a stepson of Gary Chilinski, of Eloy, Ariz.

Mr. Walsh’s brother, the late Bill Walsh, was a longtime copy editor at The Washington Post and the author of several books about editing, including "Lapsing Into a Comma" (McGraw Hill, 2000) and "The Elephants of Style" (McGraw Hill, 2004).

Mr. Walsh's paternal grandfather, the late Michael "Mickey" Walsh, was a noted boxer and fight promoter in Schuylkill County, Pa., and a sports writer at the Pottsville Republican. Mr. Walsh's paternal great-great-grandfather, Martin Bergan, was hanged in 1879 for his role in the Molly Maguires, a secret society of pro-union Irish immigrant coal miners in Pennsylvania. A 1970 film directed by Martin Ritt and starring Sean Connery and Richard Harris, "The Molly Maguires," recounted the ordeal.

The couple met through the social-media platform then known as Twitter, after Mr. Veron, an ardent Rafael Nadal fan, began responding to Mr. Walsh's tweets about tennis. (Mr. Walsh roots for Novak Djokovic.) During their first date, at a Cuban diner in Chelsea, the couple came to realize that they had had a brief online flirtation in the early aughts, but Mr. Walsh resisted pursuing it at the time because he "didn't want to deal" with someone who lived across the Hudson in New Jersey. This time he was more than willing. 

In 2019, after a five-year courtship, Mr. Veron proposed on the balcony of a hotel in the Recoleta neighborhood of Buenos Aires. (Mr. Walsh was stunned -- marriage wasn’t something gay people his age were allowed to ever dream about growing up -- before quickly saying yes.) Then in 2023, with the pandemic and several family crises abated, Mr. Walsh (re)proposed to Mr. Veron at the couple’s Upper West Side apartment -- with a plan hatched to bring the wedding closer to Mr. Walsh’s mother, who is no longer able to travel as far as the East Coast. 

To honor their families' heritage, the ceremony featured a bilingual reading of the South American poet Pablo Neruda's "Love Sonnet XVII," first in Spanish by Mr. Veron's sister and then in English by Mr. Walsh's niece, Ally Rose Jaurigue. Later, an Irish ring-warming ceremony was performed, with Mr. Walsh's brother and best man, Terence Ryan Walsh, overseeing the ritual.

The reception was held in the private lounge at Rí Rá Irish Pub, with literary-themed centerpieces designed by Mr. Walsh's sister, Jennifer Dianne Jaurigue, and a cake topper that included a nod to the couple's gray tuxedo cat, Harvey. (The grooms wore matching gray tuxes in honor of their fashionable feline.) The couple's first dance was to a modern interpretation of "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" -- from the Lerner and Loewe musical "My Fair Lady" -- that Rosanne Cash, then a neighbor of the couple's, performed and dedicated to the men on the occasion of what was supposed to be their wedding date, May 9, 2020, before Covid put those plans on hold.

Upon hearing that the nuptials had at last taken place more than three years later, with her song as the musical highlight of the reception, Ms. Cash wrote: "Oh my. I'm honored to be a part of this. Congratulations!"

An Annotated Look at Sports Illustrated's 90+ Tennis Covers

EDITOR'S NOTE: I updated this on March 7, 2023, to include some things that came after it published in 2017. Interesting to note that neither Rafael Nadal nor Novak Djokovic, both of whom have won 22 major tournaments, have ever received a cover story on the famed sports magazine. That it's down to monthly -- instead of weekly -- means the odds are pretty much zero that it will ever happen. 

And as Martina Navratilova made clear in this tweet after seeing my post, "I remember shooting an SI cover with Chris and then SI put a bunch of arms from the NBA finals on the cover instead…," covers weren't easy to come by in tennis's original heyday, either. 

__________________________________________________

After writing my post about Sloane Stephens being on the cover of Sports Illustrated, I went through the entire archives of the legendary magazine -- dating back to Aug. 16, 1954. And while I don't know anything about its leadership over the years, a few things jumped out at me.

Tony Trabert was the first tennis cover back on Aug. 29, 1944. He was your typical "all-American" white guy. But the next cover featured an Australian (Lew Hoad) and then Althea Gibson, the first great black female player. Hoad then shared a cover with rival Pancho Gonzales, who was a dark-skinned Mexican-American. From there, Peruvian-born Alex Olmedo, who helped the U.S. win the Davis Cup in 1958, was featured on Sept. 7, 1959.

A couple more white guys were featured -- including handsome Dennis Ralston, who later coached Chris Evert -- then Arthur Ashe graced the cover on Aug. 29, 1966 ...

and again when he won Wimbledon in 1975, was named Sportsman of the Year in 1992 and yet again when he died of complications of AIDS in 1993.

Evonne Goolagong, an Australian Aboriginal, was featured twice -- and before Americans Billie Jean King or Chris Evert ever appeared. I got the feeling that whoever was in charge in the 1970s didn't care much for Chris, too. Because when she did finally make the cover, it was one of those fold-out deals featuring Jimmy Connors and her -- only she was on the part that wasn't visible when the magazine was folded on the newsstand. When she won Wimbledon in 1974, she again had to share the cover with her then-beau. (In 1976 they ran another Goolagong cover with the headline, "Does Evonne Have Chrissie's Number? Goolagong Wins Again.") I mention much this because I got the sense that the editors made a conscious effort to feature a diverse group of athletes -- and certainly not just American ones -- which seems like the exception to the rule in U.S. media at the time.

Unlike later years when Federer, Nadal and Djokovic weren't considered very coverworthy, the 1970s/early '80s editors loved a European master, putting Bjorn Borg out front time and time again. Wimbledon and U.S. Open winners were most likely to get the cover. But Borg even landed it when he won the 1981 French Open, which would turn out to be his last major. They also couldn't resist his bizarre wooden-racket comeback -- who could forget "The Curious Case of Bjorn Borg" cover from 1991?

Perhaps the three most iconic covers of my childhood were when Tracy Austin became the youngest winner of the U.S. Open ...

This one of Borg, which I may have used in the bathroom a few times ...

And when Ivan Lendl finally got his moment in the sun -- only to have the coverline eclipse him!

To continue reading my annotated look at all 90 Sports Illustrated tennis covers, click HERE.

Music Box: Bananarama

So re-buying the Pretenders' first four albums -- remastered and expanded -- wasn't enough fun for me. (Ditto for Blondie and Culture Club.) This week I got the first six Bananarama albums, gloriously reissued and expanded by music-loving Rhino Records in 24-bit mastering with the complete catalog of the girls' b-sides and non-album tracks from over the years, along with remixes and single versions, sprinkled on the respective albums. Imported yet still only $10.99 each, this is the kind of CD I can feel happy (re)buying. It gives the artists new income (well, hopefully) and makes me smile. If Dolly Mixture had ever caught on they may well have been Britain's most successful group ever. But that honor was saved for Banana Girls Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward and Siobhan Fahey, and I don't think my childhood would have been half as much fun without them.

"Deep Sea Skiving": includes the singles "Shy Boy," "Really Saying Something" and "Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)"; "He's Got Tact" and "No Feelings" were brilliant additions

"Bananarama": includes the singles "Cruel Summer" and "Robert de Niro's Waiting"; "The Wild Life" (from the Cameron Crowe film) makes it all worthwhile

"True Confessions"" includes the worldwide No. 1 single "Venus" and the should-have-been hit "More Than Physical" (including the superior single mix); "Riskin' a Romance" from the Michael J. Fox vehicle "The Secret of My Success" was a great addition, as is "White Train"

"Wow": the last album to feature Siobhan Fahey, includes the singles "I Heard a Rumor," "Love in the First Degree" and "I Want You Back"; ushers in the Jacquie O. era with re-recorded versions of "Nathan Jones" and "I Want You Back" with Jacquie's vocals in for Siobhan's

"Pop Life": the one and turns out only album to feature Jacquie O'Sullivan (ex-Shillelagh Sisters) as a member of the group, includes the singles "Preacher Man," "Only Your Love" and the cover of the Doobie Brothers' "Long Train Running"; the alternative take of "Ain't No Cure" is a real treat

"Please Yourself": The group became a duo on its sixth and final release for London Records, which includes the singles "Movin' On," "Last Thing on My Mind" and the cover of "More, More, More"; b-side "Another Lover" was as good as any of the LP's tracks

Since these six albums came out between 1983-1992, Bananarama (as a duo) have released three more albums: 1995's dance-friendly "Ultra Violet"; 2001's borderline-disastrous French-only "Exotica"; and 2005's return to form, "Drama." During the same time founding member Siobhan Fahey has gone on to do considerably more interesting things, first as the leader of Shakespear's Sister ("You're History," "Heroine," "Goodbye Cruel World," "My 16th Apology" and the worldwide No. 1 "Stay"). More recently she's been a prolific songwriter and artist, usually making her solo material available only on her Web site, siobhanfahey.com. Without the constraints of record executives and labels, she's tapped into a dark, glam-inspired side that is like nothing else out there these days. Occasionally, she lends her voice to slightly more mainstream projects, like Agent Provocateur (aka Erreur Fatale)'s cover of "She's Lost Control" (the old Joy Division song). Siobhan -- gorgeous as ever and sounding great -- and Dita van Teese starred in the video that pokes fun at the Bush White House (below):

Bananarama Brings a Bunch of Joy to NYC

Hard to put into words how much fun I had seeing Bananarama at the PlayStation Theatre on Saturday night. As longtime fans know, Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward and Siobhan Fahey -- the three original members of the post-punk girl group -- had never toured together. But last year, Dallin and Woodward decided to reach out to Fahey -- who had departed the group in 1988, quickly finding success as Shakespears Sister -- to see if she would be interested in reuniting for a U.K. tour. After selling out throughout their homeland, the woman brought their enduringly youthful brand of pop songs and self-deprecating humor to North America this month, with so few dates that my best childhood friend from Arizona, Greg, flew in from his current home in Des Moines to catch the final stop, which happened to be in New York City.

Judging a concert is highly subjective. But putting together the nostalgia factor -- my late brother Bill brought Fun Boy Three's debut album and the "Shy Boy" 12-inch single home from college in 1982, turning me into the gals' biggest U.S. fan -- that my dear friend was with me -- each new import single was like a new romance for these New Wave closet cases, and finding a seven-inch Japanese import of "He's Got Tact" was like our prom! -- and that the women looked and sounded beyond my wildest expectations, the concert was undeniably one of my favorites of all time. 

A well-considered set list also helped, which included U.K. singles like "Robert De Niro's Waiting" (my personal favorite), "Rough Justice" (if "King of the Jungle" had followed I might have died!), "Trick of the Night" (with delightfully seedy footage of motels projected behind them) and "Cheers Then" (which took on a special meaning during this reunion). The night hit legendary status when when they segued from "Shy Boy" into "Boy Trouble," first known as "Don't Call Us," which Bill declared better than the A-side when he brought home the single. (The women got wistful when they recounted the olden days of "b-sides," something that don't really exist anymore.) From there, the Stock-Aitken-Waterman years -- despite all of their drama -- held up beautifully, with "More Than Physical," "I Can't Help It" (a surprise crowd pleaser), "I Want You Back" (another one of my faves) and, of course, "Venus" leaving the crowd begging for more. ("Some Girls," for instance!) \

That they chose to acknowledge each others' post-trio work -- with Sara and Keren filling in for Marcella Detroit on "Stay" (before Shuv swooped in for her goth-girl close-up), and Siobhan playing the part of Jacquie O'Sullivan on "Preacher Man," which the former Mrs. Dave Stewart declared her post-Rama favorite -- only highlighted the enduring friendship and mutual respect they feel for one another. And the one-two punch of "It Ain't What You Do" (the splendid Fun Boy Three single that brought the gals to prominence in 1982) and "Love in the First Degree" (their classic single that didn't even make the U.S. Top 40) for an encore reminded me (and the rest of the crowd) that Bananarama is one of pop music's most underrated artists. 

There's nothing better than an old friend 

Greg, me and Damian

With the palpable joy these women bring to the world, here's hoping this triumph leads to more dates later in the year.

Greg, Dave and Greg

Fans shouldn't have to travel to Manhattan to see them, although I'm awfully glad one in particular did.



Filming the video for "Cruel Summer" was their first time in New York ...

Girls about town ...

We want you back!

It ain't what they did, it's the way that they did it ...

Guilty ... of Love in the First Degree

Righted a 23-year wrong last night by finally seeing Bananarama in concert, an opportunity I begrudgingly let slip by on their 1989 World Tour when I was a Sears Congressional Intern on Capitol Hill and was low on cash. (I justified this youthful indiscretion by lying to myself that I didn't want to go because my fave -- Siobhan -- had been replaced by a second banana named Jacquie.) When Keren and Sara came out -- both looking and sounding incredibly good for 50 -- and launched into "Nathan Jones" last night in Times Square, it was like being transported in time, only with more money and less (ridiculous) hair. Touring Hard Rock Cafes across America -- in Boston tonight -- in support of Pinktober, a breast cancer awareness campaign, the girls were in great spirits, laughing and teasing each other -- and the audience -- all night as they belted out all of their biggest hits, eventually inviting audience members to join them on stage for a rousing version of "Venus." 

I took a pass -- I jumped on stage uninvited and danced with Jane Wiedlin in '84 at Pine Knob during the Go-Go's "Talk Show" tour, so decided not to risk throwing anything out -- but it was a fun display nonetheless. While the crowd went wildest during "Cruel Summer" and "I Heard a Rumor," I think "Shy Boy" and "Robert DeNiro's Waiting" were my favorites -- didn't expect either -- although the dance routine during "I Want You Back" (straight out of the video) might have been the best moment visually. Complete set list below. A welcome return by one of the '80s most underrated groups -- and for a great cause to boot!

Footnote: As I was leaving work to go to the concert, I asked a (straight) colleague of mine if he could guess where I was going. He's familiar with my bullshit, so he blurted out, "A Thompson Twins concert?" After dying laughing -- that was very close! -- he then said: "Oh, man, I'm jealous. 'Cruel Summer' was my jam.'" 

Bananarama set list

Oct. 2, 2012, 

Hard Rock Cafe, New York City

"Nathan Jones"

"Shy Boy"

"Move in My Direction"

"Cruel Summer"

"I Want You Back"

"La La Love"

"Robert DeNiro's Waiting"

"Look on the Floor"

"I Heard a Rumor"

"Now or Never"

"Love in the First Degree"

"Venus"

"Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goobye"

Page 1 Consider (02/12)

Cat vs. Boyfriend: Several friends have mentioned having a hard time locating the February issue of Instinct with my "Love Allergy" article in it (apparently it's the biggest-selling issue ever, in large part because of its cover story on J.P. Calderon). So if you want to read it online you can get to it by clicking on the photo above, or go here, then click on the article scan and it will enlarge to a readable size.

O Canada: The federal government has stepped in allowing a gay Nicaraguan fearing abuse if he is deported to remain in Canada, at least temporarily. Alvaro Orozco, 21, was facing deportation after an immigration board adjudicator did not believe he was openly gay when he fled his native Nicaragua at the age of 12. Jesus -- what's a girl gotta do to get some recognition Up North? This is a start, but does he have to be the Canuck Klinger from now on? (365Gay)

Imitation of Christ: How hilarious -- even Christian conservatives aren't buying Ted Haggard's miraculously quick "recovery" from homosexuality. This whole thing's even too gay for a bunch of church farts. (Reuters)

Throwing Brits a Bone(r): A British drug store chain will begin test marketing over-the-counter Viagra beginning -- appropriately enough -- on Valentine's Day. Until now the drug was available only by prescription. Boots Drug Stores announced Sunday that the pilot program will be launched in Manchester and is expected to last six months. After that time Boots will consider whether to expand it to other pharmacies. (365Gay)

Tapped Out: Three San Francisco police officers accused of verbally abusing and assaulting a gay man they caught urinating in the street will not face possible discipline because the department missed the deadline to take action. At a meeting Wednesday, police commissioners expressed frustration at the department's delay while approving an $83,000 tentative settlement of the man's civil rights lawsuit over the 2004 incident. "You are talking about a hate crime. It's just a tragedy that the department is unable to do anything about it because it dropped the ball so early on," Commissioner Joe Veronese said, referring to the expired one-year statute of limitations for disciplinary action. (AP)

New Role: Less than a week after publicly coming out former NBA player John Amaechi has been named a national spokesperson for a project aimed at helping LGBT people come out and live openly gay. "John is making history this week, becoming the first NBA player to ever come out and talk about his life and experiences as an athlete and a gay man," said Human Right Campaign President Joe Solmonese. "In sharing his story, our great hope is that John will pave the way for more GLBT and straight athletes to openly support fairness and respect on and off the playing field." Let's hear for the Brit. (BBSNews)

Guilty, Again: A Pennsylvania man has been found guilty for the second time in the 1987 murder of local artist Anthony Milano. Richard Laird was convicted in 1988 of first-degree murder and sentenced to death. His accomplice, Frank Chester, was sentenced to life in prison. Laird appealed his death sentence and last August a federal appeals court ordered a new trial for him, citing errors in the original trial. The four day trial covered most of the same ground as the original. Milano, 26,, was found murdered along a road in Bristol Township near his burning car. He had been beaten and slashed in the head and face, and his throat was cut so many times that his spinal cord was severed. Laird and Chester, believing Milano to be gay, harassed and humiliated him as he tried to get a beer and sandwich, forced him to buy them drinks and then left the bar with him. With so many "gay panic" defenses working in the courts these days, this is a welcome relief for all believers in the justice system, and of course for Mr. Milano's family. (365Gay)

Richard ‘Dick’ Jefferson, Award-Winning Gay Journalist, Is Dead at 63

Was very saddened to hear that my pal Dick Jefferson died over the weekend, after a brief illness. He was 63. Dick was one of the first people I met when I moved to New York and was a very good friend to me during my earliest days in the city. The Internet hadn’t supplanted real life just yet, so of course we met at a bar -- The Works on the Upper West Side -- and hit it off as fellow journalists with a shared belief in going out every night. Dick was a little sweet on me back then -- I think he was nursing a broken heart from the love of his life (Aaron) and was eager to fill the hole -- but I was only looking for drinking buddies to have some fun with, and some fun we had! Dick took me to my first Broadway show ("Rent" ... on ecstasy with hunky Dutch twins he knew in tow!), my first show at Radio City Music Hall (a triple bill of Culture Club, Howard Jones and the Human League ... on ecstasy!), my first night out dancing shirtless (1984 at the Pyramid Club) and hosted me and my first NYC boyfriend for a homemade dinner at his huge apartment on 87th and Broadway.

Dick was also the link between me and my dearest friend in New York. Jay and I used to see each other at The Works all the time -- he was a local, I commuted from Chelsea for the $1 frozen margaritas -- but were always kind of aloof with one another, in that gay-bar kind of way. One night Dick had invited me to a party at his apartment and as I was heading there after having a drink at the bar, I grabbed Jay by the shoulder and said, "Look, do you wanna be best friends or not?" Jay then accompanied me to the party and the rest is best-friends history. And when my brothers visited me from D.C.,  Dick was producing the "CBS Evening News" and kindly invited me to bring them to the studio for a full tour. (John Roberts was anchoring that night and I nearly swooned when he shook my hand, despite knowing better as a hardcore “Broadcast News” fan!) Over the years we saw less of each other, but we always kept in touch. I was the first blogger he contacted when he sued CBS for discrimination in 2007 after they fired him in the wake of his (and a colleague's) harrowing gay bashing in St. Martin. And more recently, he reached out while job hunting. (He was considering transitioning into print media after his ugly breakup with the Tiffany Network.) But as always, Dick landed on his own two feet -- and I was thrilled to see he had found work at CNN last summer, where it sounds like his talent and personality were duly appreciated.

RIP, old friend. You were truly a kid at heart.

Sept. 26, 1954 - May 4, 2018

Here is the memo Javi Morgado, executive producer of “New Day,” sent out to Dick's colleagues:

It is with a heavy heart that I share news that Dick Jefferson died last night. Jim Murphy brought Dick into the CNN family last year as a freelance writer for "New Day" and "Early Start" as well as Michael Smerconish’s weekend show. 

Dick’s illustrious career in broadcast news spanned more than four decades. He got his start as a producer in local news at WWL in New Orleans and WDIV in Detroit. Dick’s award-winning career catapulted at CBS News where he held several senior management positions from 1989-2007 at the "CBS Evening News With Dan Rather," "CBS This Morning" and the network’s Special Events unit. Most recently, Dick was an executive producer at Al Jazeera America and Arise News. 

Dick’s passion for journalism began at the University of Texas at Austin. He got a master’s degree in communications management from the University of Southern California and graduated with honors from law school at the University of Detroit. 

Please keep Dick and his family in your thoughts. We will share information on a memorial service as soon those plans are arranged.

Page 1 Consider (10/23)

Food Fight: Jessica Seinfeld has been accused of stealing two recipes featured in her new cooking-for-finicky-children cookbook, "Deceptively Delicious." It's hard to imagine that a woman whose first date with her funnyman husband, Jerry, took place while she was on her honeymoon with her first husband would do something so shady. (PostChronicle)

Fear Factor: What does the hilarious Dan Savage fear most? (Queerty)

Like Bellies, Ads Go Soft: Forget about "this is your brain on drugs" or that guy with a hole in his throat at the swimming pool. A new campaign to raise awareness about obesity doesn't even dare show a fat person, let alone wag a finger for gluttony or sloth. Do you really think photos of crispy french fries are going to scare people away from overeating? I'm ready to run out to McDonald's right now. (AP)

The Last Straw: A stripper-turned-soccer-mom accused of borrowing from a movie plot to kill her fiance for money was convicted Monday of first-degree murder. How embarrassing that she would model her misdeeds on a straight-to-cable film. (AP)

Reality Check: Catching up with former "Amazing Race" winner and current "Dante's Cove" cast member Reichen Lehmkuhl . (GayWired)

'Out'er Banks: Jim Neal, the sole Democratic challenger for Elizabeth Dole's U.S. Senate seat in North Carolina, came out over the weekend in an online forum. Let's hope that's not a euphemism for Manhunt. (Gay.com)

The Picture of 'Dorrian's' Gray: Robert Chambers Jr., the so-called "Preppy Killer," who strangled a young woman in Central Park in the 1980s, was arrested in Manhattan last night on charges of selling cocaine, the police said. (NYT)

We're Talking Some Serious Detention Time Here: A 15-year-old girl was stabbed to death during an attack by a 17-year-old girl and family members, police said. Whatever happened to the glee club? (AP)

Paper Cut: An ethics scholar at Northwestern University published a paper this summer claiming that controversial scholar and author J. Michael Bailey acted appropriately while researching his 2003 book about transsexuals, "The Man Who Would Be Queen," according to an article in The Daily Northwestern. In his book Bailey states that male-to-female transsexuals are either "homosexual transsexuals," inherently feminine men who are attracted to men, or "autogynephilic transsexuals," men who are aroused by the thought of having a woman’s body. (Huh??? How the f**k does he know?) I wonder what Andrea James will have to say about this "finding." You might recall that James was so outraged by Bailey’s book that she downloaded images from Bailey’s Web site of his children, taken when they were in middle and elementary school, and posted them on her own site, with sexually explicit captions that she provided.). James, the Los Angeles-based transgender advocate and consultant, said that Bailey’s work exploited vulnerable people, especially children, and that her response echoed his disrespect. (Advocate)

Slip Sliding Away: I was expecting young, hip and fresh when I finally got to see Barack Obama on a nice, relaxed environment like Jon Stewart a month or two ago, but instead got the usual robotic (Hillaryesque) politician responses to every question. (That's bad because even a dud stiff like John Kerry can be funny on that show!) Now comes word that Obama has ties to the homophobic gospel singer Donnie McClurkin. You're losing me here, Barack. (AP)

Eye of the Beholder: Don't you love it when you find a million-dollar work of art in the trash? (NYT)

Trannies Say Cheese! A Wisconsin law that bars the state from paying for gender reassignment surgery for prison inmates violates the U.S. Constitution a federal judge was told Monday. (365Gay)

Poland Outlook: The far-right government of Polish Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski is being replaced by the more moderate Civic Platform opposition party following Sunday's election -- move that LGBT groups in the country hope will lead to better relations. (365Gayski)

Priorities: No insurance for poor American kids, but no problem with $46 billion more for war. (AP)

'Walk' of Shame: Apparently it's OK in Massachusetts for bigots to physically assault women who do not agree with their views on gay marriage and get away with it. (365Gay)

Lessing Isn't Always More: Nobel laureate Doris Lessing said the Sept. 11 attacks in the United States were "not that terrible" when compared with attacks by the IRA in Britain. "Sept. 11 was terrible, but if one goes back over the history of the IRA, what happened to the Americans wasn't that terrible," the Nobel Literature Prize winner told the leading Spanish daily El Pais. Just what we need -- a terror pissing match. (AP)

A Little Bit Country, a Little Bit Drama Queen: Did anyone see Marie Osmond wipe out on "Dancing With the Stars"? It sounds hilarious. (AP)

New and Noteworthy Books

Here are three memoirs that have caught my eye in recent weeks ...

"Dating Bradford: A Memoir" by Bradford Noble

DESCRIPTION: Dating is awkward. Sometimes it’s fun and exciting, sometimes romantic or hopeful, but often it’s demeaning and fraught with embarrassment. In New York, dates are served raw. Without the smart ‘n’ savvy sauce, one may need to choke them down with a shot of vodka for digestion. Dating Bradford is about searching for the recipe to make dating appetizing, and the pursuit of love on the long and lonely road to romance.

About the author: Frustrated with the NYC dating scene, Bradford started writing stories about his dates to share with his friends. The more stories he shared, the more stories they loved, and his audience soon grew to seventy thousand in a weekly column on Gay.com and PlanetOut. In his professional life Bradford Noble thought he was all that as an “International Celebrity, Fashion, and Advertising Photographer” for twenty years. He had a great stint of it, traveling around the world shooting all kinds of famous people and making a bunch of money until it all ran to shit and he finally stopped giving a fuck. These days Bradford lives in La Jolla, California, working as a Life Coach specializing in dating and relationships, teaching photography, and working towards his master’s degree in social work with which he hopes to continue to help people discover themselves in relation to others.

Order HERE.

"Tender" by D. Clifford Hill

DESCRIPTION: D. Clifford Hill’s first book, "Tender," is a poetic, brutally self honest and colorfully descriptive noir memoir of living through PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in the Tenderloin of San Francisco. After surviving a workplace shooting he just wants to feel something, anything at all; he wants to rise above the flat of medications, to move beyond depression, to be free of the constant anxiety the gunman is at hand. The men in his life ravage the carnage of his vulnerability; repeatedly he is left numbed and alone until a homeless man, Darnell, steps into his life and love, in its trembling aimless dysfunction, binds their lives together.

Order HERE.

"Damage Control: A Memoir of Outlandish Privilege, Loss and Redemption" by Sergei Boissier

DESCRIPTION: A powerful blazingly honest memoir told with humor and panache about a mother and son finding each other again after years of estrangement. A coming-of-age story of outrageous excess, glamour, entitlement and grand delusion, lived above the fray and over the top. A gay man's journey through the joys and perils of his generation, coming out in the early eighties in the shadows of a terrifying disease that would devastate so many, surviving tremendous loss and culminating in his decision to adopt a child as a single parent. When Sergei, a psychotherapist who has been living in Paris for the past decade, discovers that his mother is terminally ill, he decides to leave his practice and his life to be by her side, in the hope of healing the bitterness and discord before it is too late.

This memoir offers a fascinating and disturbing portrayal of a glamorous woman whose life has been one of great elegance and luxury, along with disillusionment, grandiosity, seduction and self-destruction: her childhood in pre-Castro Cuba, a mythical island paradise; her marriage at the age of eighteen to a dashing young Swiss man and their subsequent exile; her frantic and desperate resolve to create a mythical life of her own and pass on the traditions of aristocracy to her children, all the while leading a double life and suffering feelings of intense longing and frustration and guilt which eventually cause her to destroy and walk away from everything that she has been raised to want and expect out of life.

 Order HERE.

'Asking for It'

While I have been engrossed in the "unsolved" killing of Robert Wone in Washington, another high-profile murder investigation in the nation's capital has making progress, with three 18-year-old men now in custody for the slaying of Brian Betts, a beloved principal at a troubled D.C. middle school.

The case has all the elements of a made-for-TV movie, beginning with Betts' unknowingly moving into a house in Silver Spring, Md., that was the scene of a high-profile homicide a few years earlier. (Greg Russell and his 9-year-old daughter, Erika Smith, were brutally murdered there by an intruder in 2002.) When Betts failed to show up for work on April 15, colleagues became concerned and visited his home, where they found him shot dead in his bedroom. His wallet and car were missing, and speculation began to run amok as the absence of forced entry led investigators to believe Betts knew his killer(s).

While The Washington Post steered clear of the "He's gay! That must be why!" angle, other media outlets hammered at it, as did commenters on Post articles. Now as word comes that Betts met his assailants on a phone-sex chat line, this well-respected educator has been disgustingly reduced to a stereotype in death for partaking in completely legal activities in his private life.

I never met Brian Betts, But let's hope the hysteria surrounding his sensationalized demise calms down quickly and, with his alleged killers now charged with first-degree murder, justice can be served. A "gay panic" defense seems inevitable. And while a good number of commenters see this story for the tragedy that it is, enough are taking turns either blaming the victim ("must have been a pedophile!") or pointing the finger at "urban types" for their "casual, unrestricted reproduction," I already have grave concerns about this case going to trial.

The District needs to take a collective deep breath, and not lose sight of the thousands of students who loved and respected Brian Betts, the same children who on the school's door wrote words that said it all: "We Love You Mr. Betts It's Not the Same With Out You."

A sampling of the racist and homophobic comments on The Washington Post's Web site -- and this is WITH a "Report Abuse" option available to readers:

DwightCollins wrote: the reason there is an issue that he is gay is because he is a principla of a school with children ... add a few years to the age of the those children and thats who he contacted via the sex line who robbed and killed him...

redsky28 wrote: This is what you get when you spit kids out left and right - think that the govt is suppose to raise them.. for christ sake the mother of one of the kids was using the Principal's credit card.. they went shopping after they killed the guy.. They should all be given life and throw away the book. Scum.

blasmaic wrote: A homosexual who leads a middle school of black kids invites three black teens over to party one night. You say he's not a risk? I say he's not a newbie.

glovesetc wrote: Guess this is what happens when you go onlinelooking for "love". The guy was educated and good looking so why go on a chat line or the net/ Great educator and inspiration to all . The good news is 3 scumbags are going to be off the street for an awful long time. These people were not too smart although their mommas be screaming they were god fearing, church going, choir singing, and soon to be rhodes Scholars too. Yeah right.

toshiromifune wrote: What a way to leave this life ... implicated in an online network for sexual perversion. What a legacy to leave behind ... a professional life filled with accomplishment diminished by a private life of inexplicable vulgarity.

forgetthis wrote: The Post's readers can put him on a pedestal all they want (and I'm definitely not saying he deserved to die; this murder and everyone involved was despicable); however, I'm still a little worried that this person was around kids so much of the time.

AncientTerp wrote: Some might say this nasty affair is "The wages of sin is death."

roldan52 wrote: Evidently Mr. Betts had some skeltons in his closet. He should have come out of the closet. Talking on sex chat lines is a dangerous thing to do We teach our kids not to go on these chat rooms, He should not have to die, Lust is something you have to control, He was so good with kids it makes you wonder if he was lusting after his own students. These teenager should be locked up for life. And the mother who use the credit card should be locked up also for a long time,

Silly_Willy_Bulldog wrote: This is exactly why his sexual orientation should have been disclosed when it happened. He tried to hook up with someone the age of a high school student for sex. I do not care if people wanted to erect a high pedestal for him, but clearly he had asked for trouble when he arranged a sexual encounter with someone barely legal.