Weekend Tennis Roundup

 

Alejandro Davidovich Fokina triumphs in Shanghai; Maja Chwalinska scores a Wuhan breakthrough; Zheng Qinwen makes history in Beijing; plus a viral courtside treatment and more BELOW.

Here Comes the Mirror Man

In a new interview with Super Flattering, photographer Elay Neal Moses touches on something I spent much of my 20s and 30s grappling with: When I would meet a guy I found attractive, I was often confused -- did I want to be with him or did I want to be him? 

As a gay man, the line between desire and aspiration could be confusing, especially when I was younger and still figuring out who I was. (I suppose the one advantage of being a breeder is not having to deal with this issue!) 

Moses, who came of age in the internet era, describes having similar feelings while looking at male models on Tumblr: "As a gay man, there's an extra question: do I want to be like him, or do I want him? The line between the two can be pretty blurred." 

Of course, the answer could be both -- think boyfriend twins. But it's a fascinating little insight into the way gay men can experience attraction, admiration and insecurity all at once -- and one I wish I'd heard someone articulate decades ago.

Elsewhere in the interview, Moses touches on another aspect of this phenomenon: how we can adore qualities in other men that we're unable to appreciate in ourselves.

"I've always been drawn to imperfection," he says, before wondering why it's so easy to embrace those qualities in others but so difficult to accept them in himself. (I, myself, am famous for loving a guy with a paunch -- so sexy -- yet hate myself for not having a six pack.) 

I was also struck by Moses's thoughts on aging and the idea that growing older is a privilege. It's something I've become increasingly aware of, especially since losing my big brother, who I'm now four years older than when he died. His cancer ordeal really drove home how lucky the rest of us are to still be here. 

Of course, knowing that intellectually and actually feeling it when you're bombarded with Instahunks 24 hours a day -- that Mark Zuckerberg is on to me -- are two different things. (Why I would be measuring myself against someone young enough to be my grandson in the first place is anyone's guess, although Peter Pan Syndrome is undoubtedly at play)

Maybe the key is learning to appreciate what you have instead of constantly comparing yourself to others, judging yourself against who you used to be or dwelling on who you never were -- as painful as that last one can be.

Read HERE.

Remains of the Day (10/16)

KIT212: Ex-Jets QB Mark Sanchez reaches settlement with truck driver he pummeled in booze-filled attack

People: Not at all surprised that Timothy Busfield's child sex abuse indictment was thrown out after a judge found prosecutors improperly prevented grand jurors from hearing witnesses who could have supported his defense. He probably was a creep to some females, but everything about this "molesting little boys" case sounded specious.

Boystack: Glenn Close makes a surprise appearance at NewFest's opening-night screening of the acclaimed Spanish gay drama "La Bola Negra"

Mombian: Revisiting an early book about lesbian parenthood offers a reminder that gay families have a much longer history than many realize

Saturday 'Stache: He's what's known as a "Kenny special"

Artnet: Cyndi Lauper looks back on her gloriously outrageous style as she auctions off decades of iconic outfits, including pieces created by Screaming Mimi's founder Laura Wills

Fox Illinois: LGBTQ elders share the lessons they want younger generations to carry forward

Attitude: Chick-fil-A's CEO squirms through an interview about the fast-food chain's controversial history with gay rights

Out: David Beckham's son Romeo makes his acting debut in "Forty Love," a French gay romance about rival tennis players who fall for each other 

Brian Ferrari: A not-safe-for-work remembrance of pioneering gay actor and activist Michael Kearns

SCMP: A scheduling conflict forces the cancellation of Hong Kong Pride Parade's Rainbow Market, with no alternative venue available

The 19th: Meta faces scrutiny over anti-LGBTQ misinformation spreading on its platforms ahead of the midterm elections

NYT: Revisiting the origins of Jason Voorhees in "Crystal Lake," Peacock's prequel series to the "Friday the 13th" horror franchise

Instinct: What gay men need to know about Grindr's growing use of artificial intelligence

Speedo Sunday: Putting the muscle in Muscle Beach

Hot Cat of the Day: Turtle comes home after 571 days and a two-state adventure

Mormon interruptus: This one's for all my gay classmates in Mesa

Blond Farewell: Blondie to return with new and final album "High Noon" next year. Hear the "Pollinator"-reminiscent first single, "Spectral Eyes," HERE. Tickled to read they're also covering a song off erstwhile keyboardist Jimmy Destri's sublime "Heart on a Wall" album, but did they have to pick the one with barely any lyrics ("Little Metal Drummer") when every other track has Blondie written all over it? 

On the Rag, Vol. 929

This week's rag 'n' mag roundup features Parker Gregory, Adam Lambert, Corey Fogelmanis, Mina Hartong, Paul Anthony Kelly, Tom Hiddleston, the sexy boys of "La Bola Negra" and more BELOW.

Wednesday Ad Watch

 

Spotted by my husband on his way home from the office -- and he doesn't even work in Flushing.  

Remains of the Day (10/13)

Mug Shot Hotties: To serve and get serviced?

AFP: Hungary cuts anti-LGBTQ measures from Orban-era law

People: A gay jazz singer rediscovers cassette tapes his estranged grandfather sent him 23 years ago, including a touching message of unconditional acceptance that has since gone viral on social media

HRW: Hundreds of people have been arrested in Senegal's brutal anti-gay crackdown, as the country prepares to host the Youth Olympic Games

Super Bulge: Certainly not the first time Tom Welling has had us talking about his package

 

NYP: The young man mauled to death by a tiger at a British wildlife park has been identified as a former child actor with a history of mental illness who posted a video of himself approaching the animal on Instagram moments before the fatal attack

Mirror: A Delta passenger's claim that he was kicked off a flight after refusing to switch seats is just the kind of airline drama that gets the internet all worked up

Attitude: "Queer as Folk" creator Russell T Davies reveals how he met his "gorgeous" boyfriend (Oliver Cole), sharing the charming story behind their romance

NBC: Man, 60, beaten and stomped to death outside Chelsea sex shop

Gr8erDays: Remembering "Guys and Dolls" star Vivian Blaine, an early AIDS activist who used her celebrity to support gay men at a time when many in Hollywood remained silent

Deadline: Hasn't this country been through enough in the past few years?

THR: Roseanne Barr is shopping a new sitcom about an anti-woke family living on a Texas farm, and the usual suspects are involved in the mentally ill comedian's latest attempt at a television comeback

Washington Blade: A new report finds that discrimination against gay people in Japan costs the country's economy billions of dollars annually ... as volleyball star Rui Takahashi comes out

The Diplomat: A police raid on a gay bar raises troubling questions about Taiwan's reputation as one of Asia's most gay-friendly societies

Boystack: Matt revisits 20 of his favorite posts, featuring gay-porn legends, vintage beefcake, forgotten gay history, celebrity interviews and more

Hot Cat of the Day: Rebel, with claws 

NY Historical: I can't wait to see "You Should Be Dancing: New York 1976 and Beyond," a new exhibition celebrating the city's disco heyday, when dance floors became a haven for gay people and other outsiders and helped transform music, fashion and nightlife 

Sneak Previews: 12 LGBTQ films to kick off first half of NewFest in NYC