Page 1 Roundup (04/12)

The Daily News: A-Rod threatens to cut child-support payments, his ex claims amid bitter family feud

Tabloid bought Trump love-child rumor for $30G, then spiked story

Towleroad: L.A. County district attorney reviewing sex-crimes case against Kevin Spacey

New York Post: Even this conservative tabloid concedes Trump doesn't make any sense

Gas-station owner shoots customer over $2 Slim Jim

Rachel Dolezal is now working as a 'weavologist'

The New York Times: Right-wing lunatic Ryan found himself on the margins as the G.O.P. moved even more right

Investigators look at National Enquirer's ties to Crazy Donald's lawyer

Man accused of raping Michigan teenager is now charged with killing her

Los Angeles Times: Comedy Store owner Mitzi Shore dies at 87

The Washington Post: Crazy Donald can't quit Just-as-Crazy Steve

Mother Jones: Watch a federal judicial nominee evade questions about whether Planned Parenthood kills 150,000 females a year (she also won’t say if Brown v. Board of Education was decided correctly)

Talking Points Memo: Missouri House report contains graphic claims of Greitens's alleged sexual misconduct

The Wall Street Journal: Techies turn to puns, historical references in desperate effort to devise new names for computer viruses 

Scared of You, Meshach Taylor!

   I'll bet Hollywood would have been more than willing to do the honor of frisking Alex Rodriguez. 

Quote of the Day: Stephen Colbert

"A-Rod was suspended for 211 games, otherwise known as what a single baseball game feels like." -- Stephen Colbert

Page 1 Consider (08/05)

Cannot say enough about how glad I am about this suspension. A lifetime ban would be ideal, but until someone of A-Rod's stature is punished for using performance-enhancing drugs, no one is going to stop. Tennis doesn't have the problem baseball and football has because if you get caught, you get suspended for seven years -- and your career is over. A-Rod will be 40 when his suspension is up and his hopes of getting into the Hall of Fame are gone. It's a big deal.

Bats and Balls

A new exhibit called “Baseball Hotties: Studs We Love” at the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory in Kentucky -- featuring some beefcake Yankees players Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez -- appears to be the best reason to ever visit the Bluegrass state. The New York Post reports that since it opened last month, the shirtless exhibit is attracting a record number of visitors to the museum -- supposedly mostly women. “It’s a big hit with them,” said museum director, Anne Jewell. “Derek Jeter is one of their favorites.” True, because the gays -- like A-Rod himself -- are all about Rodriguez. Keep reading HERE.

Batting Practice

Li'l David Beckham hung out with the big boys of American sports -- namely Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez -- at a Yankees game while in Toronto not playing for his soccer team, L.A. Galaxy.

'A' Is for Adulterer

Here's Alex Rodriguez with his wife, Cynthia, and daughter, Natasha, at a signing for the Yankees slugger's children's book "Out of the Ballpark." I wonder what his girlfriend thought of this family outing at FAO Schwarz?

Stray-Rod

Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez sure has some explaining to do to his wife, Cynthia (you remember her, the mother of their 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Natasha). And when did Lizzie Grubman start using steroids? I wonder if Bud Selig is going to weigh in on this one ... (NYP)