Page 1 Roundup (05/15)

The New York Post: I never got Derek Jeter. (He "looks like the Rock had sex with a Muppet.) But people seem to respect him, so congrats!

The Daily News: Yankees retire Derek Jeter’s No. 2, unveil plaque for Monument Park

The New York Times: Iranian Voter’s Plea: Stop Saying ‘Death to America’ 

The Wall Street Journal: Curses! Hawaii Can’t Get Tourists to Stop Sending Back Lava

Farewell, Derek Jeter

I've never been a big baseball fan, but huge fan of baseball players. I've always loved their beefier bodies, as opposed to soccer and tennis players, where pretty faces still lure me in. Derek Jeter meant a lot to a generation of Yankee fans -- and sports fans in general -- and in a world filled with bad behavior, he was remarkable in his long career as a player and role model. So bidding the Captain farewell is all just a long-winded way to run this 1997 photo him and four other hot Yankees -- Alex Gonzalez (hubba hubba), Edgar Renteria, Rey Ordonez and the disgraced Alex Rodriguez.

Page 1 Consider (09/24)

I wouldn't pay $400 for one of Derek Jeter's used socks, but I might for a pair of Brandon McCarthy's ...

Starbucks Strikes Out

Derek Jeter uses phony name 'Philip' at Greenwich Village Starbucks 

 The ever-reliable New York Post is reporting that Derek Jeter used a fake name when ordering coffee at a Starbucks downtown. But anyone who's ever gone to the chain knows "Philip" is exactly what baristas write on your cup when you say your name is "Derek."

And I'm Diness, thank you very much.

Bats and Balls

A new exhibit called “Baseball Hotties: Studs We Love” at the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory in Kentucky -- featuring some beefcake Yankees players Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez -- appears to be the best reason to ever visit the Bluegrass state. The New York Post reports that since it opened last month, the shirtless exhibit is attracting a record number of visitors to the museum -- supposedly mostly women. “It’s a big hit with them,” said museum director, Anne Jewell. “Derek Jeter is one of their favorites.” True, because the gays -- like A-Rod himself -- are all about Rodriguez. Keep reading HERE.

Batting Practice

Li'l David Beckham hung out with the big boys of American sports -- namely Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez -- at a Yankees game while in Toronto not playing for his soccer team, L.A. Galaxy.