Page 1 Roundup (04/12)

The Daily News: A-Rod threatens to cut child-support payments, his ex claims amid bitter family feud

Tabloid bought Trump love-child rumor for $30G, then spiked story

Towleroad: L.A. County district attorney reviewing sex-crimes case against Kevin Spacey

New York Post: Even this conservative tabloid concedes Trump doesn't make any sense

Gas-station owner shoots customer over $2 Slim Jim

Rachel Dolezal is now working as a 'weavologist'

The New York Times: Right-wing lunatic Ryan found himself on the margins as the G.O.P. moved even more right

Investigators look at National Enquirer's ties to Crazy Donald's lawyer

Man accused of raping Michigan teenager is now charged with killing her

Los Angeles Times: Comedy Store owner Mitzi Shore dies at 87

The Washington Post: Crazy Donald can't quit Just-as-Crazy Steve

Mother Jones: Watch a federal judicial nominee evade questions about whether Planned Parenthood kills 150,000 females a year (she also won’t say if Brown v. Board of Education was decided correctly)

Talking Points Memo: Missouri House report contains graphic claims of Greitens's alleged sexual misconduct

The Wall Street Journal: Techies turn to puns, historical references in desperate effort to devise new names for computer viruses 

Page 1 Roundup (01/04)

The Daily News: Hard to say who is more despicable when Bannon's biggest complaint about Trump was that he wasn't horrible enough

Trump used to boast about having sex with his friends’ wives, book claims, devised calculated infidelity plots

Socialite Jacqueline Kent Cooke accused of smacking lawyer with her glass purse in anti-semitic attack

The New York Post: Steve Bannon says Trump Jr.'s meeting with Russians was 'treasonous'

CBS News fires political director over allegations of ‘inappropriate behavior’

The New York Times: Paul Mannafort sues Robert Mueller, asks a judge to narrow the Russia investigation

Cuomo charts course for 2018, eyeing Trump on the horizon

(Cue the Bernie bros. who will not turn out to vote in 2020 because of the "Vote for Cuomo, Not the Homo" rumors from 1977.)

Big League Stew: Mississippi's anti-gay marriage law is hurting two college baseball teams

The Washington Press: Trump took credit for planes not crashing -- now an astronaut's response will have Trump seeing stars

The Washington Post: Why the New York Times is in the hot seat so often

USA Today: Philip Morris says its New Year's resolution is to give up cigarettes

The Wall Street Journal: Competitive ‘slow smokers’ use gentle puffs, moist palms, strategic ashing to see how long they can keep a single stogie lit

Page 1 Roundup (08/21)

The Daily News: I must confess that Jerry Lewis was just the telethon guy and Johnny Carson guest to me growing up. And the only film role I ever saw him in was as talk-show host Jerry Langford in "The King of Comedy," a part Martin Scorsese reportedly wanted Johnny Carson to play.

But even though I never sought out his legendary work with Dean Martin, his good deeds for people with Muscular Dystrophy and his spectacular performance opposite Robert De Niro and Sandra Bernhard make him all right in my book, even if he may have been the misogynistic prick some say he was. RIP.

Sandra recalls working with the mercurial comedian HERE.

Or was he not such a tough cookie?

The New York Post: Legendary comedian Jerry Lewis dead at 91

The New York Times: Bannon Was Set for a Graceful Exit. Then Came Charlottesville.

The Wall Street Journal: Africans Have Heated Views About Rice, Just Ask Mark Zuckerberg

The Reality of Being 'President'

I'm guessing one of Trump's aides drew this for him so he could better understand the situation. 

Still, I'm sure the No. 1 thing on his mind is THIS!

One white supremacist down, how many more to go? 

White House Chief Strategist Stephen Bannon Is Fired

Follow me on Twitter HERE.

!

Page 1 Roundup (01/31)

Our "president" has spent the last 48 hours making fun of the Senate minority leader.

The White House officially has a new Dick Cheney, only he's a way bigger dick.

Who'd have guessed Donald Trump wouldn't like having a woman stand up to him?

Sick of Making Lousy Sports Bets? Now You Can Outsource Them / Read HERE.