Thursday, January 31, 2013

Schock-er


   "When would I possibly have time to think about gay marriage? I'm too busy working out and looking in the mirror." -- Rep. Aaron Schock, R-Illinois. (Via JMG)

Blush With Greatness


The coming-out process is messy enough in private, but this is just painful. Sadly, there's nothing confusing about this embarrassing situation.

Caption Me


Better? Parqueeeeet!


Novak Djokovic is none-too-pleased about the court set up for this week's first-round Davis Cup tie between Serbia and Belgium. Apparently the clay was poured on top of a parquet floor -- what could possibly go wrong? From his Facebook page:
Anyone remembers this guy? Miljan is now proud father of two beautiful girls :) Missed him in Australia, but he is back! We are both very careful and taking extra care about my body because the conditions for play are quite dangerous not only for me and my team, but also for the hosts. I am certain that clay court had to be better, although I do believe that people from organization did their best. Unfortunately, sometimes that is not enough and now we are all facing a very tough challenge ahead of us - how to avoid getting injured. Health should be everyone's priority and I am sad that this weekend we will not be able to perform a good quality tennis for the people who looked forward to this tie and bought tickets.

Divine Inspiration


You know the marketplace is rough out there when it's taken this long -- and this many fundraising campaigns -- to get a documentary about the legendary Divine produced. But it looks like it's finally here -- just accepted in the 2013 South by Southwest film festival!

Sacked!


"I fathered a love child with this embarrassing body. Imagine what I could do on Nutrisystem!"


Stephen Colbert: It Gets Worse


   Not everyone loves Stephen Colbert as much as I do. But last night's "The Word" on the upcoming Prop 8 was so brilliant, I can't imagine everyone won't appreciate it. (Seriously, watch it if you haven't already.)


Super Men


Tom Welling and Zac Efron in an ensemble drama about the hours following the assassination of JFK in Parkland Hospital? I'm in, although a porno would be even better. 


Is This a Fake Ad on TheOnion.com?


  Act quickly, class is filling up rapidly!

Song of the Day: 'Backstabbers' by the O'Jays


 Even my soul-loving lover was shocked when I belted out every word to this one. It was just one of a dozen classics from 1972 included on my mom's "Believe in Music" album by K-Tel, which was on heavy rotation when I was a in kindergarten. Now that's what I call music!

Morning Wood


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Oh, Dan.







Wednesday, January 30, 2013

'Hot Hot Hot Up in Herre'




Read my review of the Skivvies show at Highline Ballroom HERE.

Don Juan


    I wish, Mr. Monaco. Might have to reconsider how low I had him on my list of my 100 hottest tennis players.

Hoaxster Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Is a Manti Eater


  I've been saying it all along, but Notre Dame linebacker Manti T'eo's fake girlfriend, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, has finally admitted to Dr. Phil that he is gay ... and confused.  Calling a guy once pretending to be a chick is a joke. Doing it for 500 hours over the course of three years is a chore -- just like most relationships! Watch what he has to say HERE.

RIP: Patty Andrews


Patty Andrews, last surviving member of singing Andrews sisters ("Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B,” “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree [With Anyone Else but Me]”), has died of natural causes at her home in the Northridge, Calif. Patty was the youngest sister, the lead singer and chief clown, whose "raucous jitterbugging delighted American servicemen abroad and audiences at home." She was 94. Read HERE.



LGBT Postcard From Sundance


Xtra! out of Canada has a great report on the LGBT highlights from the Sundance Film Festival, including:


Daniel Radcliffe as Allen Ginsberg opposite Jack Huston's Jack Kerouac in John Krokidas' "Kill Your Darlings."


James Franco as Hugh Hefner in Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman's "Lovelace." 


Franco also produced a film called "Kink," a documentary about the work environment at the Web site Kink.com, and co-directed "Interior. Leather Bar." (top photo) with Travis Mathews, a reimagining of the 40 minutes of sex that was cut from Al Pacino's "Cruising" to garner an R rating back in 1980. It was the talk of the town.


Kyle Alvarez's "C.O.G.," the first adaptation of a David Sedaris story, which promises "hilarious gay content" and a scene involving a bunch of dildos.


And finally, we learn about "Cocussion," a film that deals with similar themes as "The Kids Are All Right," if one of the women had become a prostitute once she realized she was gay. 

Watch  the full report here:




Thai One On


   A coworker told me about this fake Rosetta Stone commercial from last weekend's "Saturday Night Live," which is nearly as good as she said it was.



Sign Language


Nicely done, Boqueria!

Song of the Day: 'Your Daddy Don't Know' by Toronto


   I always thought I was the only one who remembered "Your Daddy Don't Know," Toronto's impossibly catchy 1982 single that got fairly heavy rotation on MTV. The band was kind of an up-north Heart -- lead singer Holly Wood (right) was sort of a white-trash Adrienne Barbeau, while guitarist Sheron Alton was the prettier "sister." Well it turns out fellow Canadians New Pornographers were fans too, and even recorded a very true-to-the-original cover of it for the soundtrack to "FUBAR: The Movie." Can't believe I'm just now learning this -- CS: if you've got this, hook me up! -- but you can enjoy 'em both here:




And to Anonymous: You were so right about my honorary Canadian citizenship!

If You're Lucky


(No) Surprise, Surprise, Surprise


Well golllly, Gomer is just piling on now: Jim Nabors -- aka Gomer Pyle, USMC -- just revealed to Hawaii News Now that he married his longtime partner earlier this month, in Washington state. Nabors, 82, said he tied the knot with his lover of 38 years, Stan Cadwallader, who's 64, in Seattle on Jan. 15. While he declined an on-camera interview, he told the station by phone: "I'm 82 and he's in his 60s and so we've been together for 38 years and I'm not ashamed of people knowing, it's just that it was such a personal thing, I didn't tell anybody," Nabors said. "I'm very happy that I've had a partner of 38 years and I feel very blessed. And, what can I tell you, I'm just very happy." Full story HERE.


For those keeping score at home, Carol Burnett's BFF landed himself a 26-year-old when he was 44, to which I say: Shazam!

Morning Wood


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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Security Theater


Wired reports that a young Virginia man who wrote an abbreviated version of the Fourth Amendment on his body and stripped to his shorts at an airport security screening area won a trial Friday in his lawsuit seeking $250,000 in damages for being detained on a disorderly conduct charge. In related news, I hear the TSA is getting rid of those full-body scanners that take graphic images of people's bodies, which has Stephen Colbert and me kinda bummed.  Anyone know where I can get a framed 8 x 10 of my nut sack on the way back from Hawaii? They were never more youthful-looking and relaxed ...



Caption Me


   If the arrow is even necessary at all, shouldn't it be pointing at the arm?

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