I Wanna Be a 'Chelsea' Boy

As regular readers know, I'm a huge fan of author/comedian/talk show host Chelsea Handler, whose late-night talk show on E!, "Chelsea Lately," is a simultaneous breath of fresh air and a much-needed assault on the celebrity-obsessed society we live in (if you're not watching, you really should).

In addition to interviews and location shots, each night she features three "round table" guests (usually comedians and celebrity-magazine editors) with whom she discusses what's in the news -- pop culture style. This month she's holding an open casting call for a guest panelist, and naturally it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. Check out my "audition" video I shot with the help of my pal Frank yesterday. With merely a digital camera and no video editing skills to speak of, trust me when I say it was no easy task. And while I'm not sure what King Arthur would have to say about my shot at the round table, I'm hoping it's enough to get me noticed over at TV's funniest show.

WARNING: Gratuitous self-promotion ahead!

A Fine Bromance?

I think Brody Jenner should just call off his new "looking for a new bff" reality show and just start dating sexy Doug Reinhart, who may or may not have dated Lauren Conrad, who may or may not have dated Brody. (Straight people are sluts.)

Is It a Feelin' in the Heart, or Is It Somethin' You Can Name?

The haircut became better known as the Nicholas Bradford, but to me it was always all James

OK, 20th Century Fox: Now that every episode of "Too Close for Comfort"(!) and "Mama's Family"(!!) have been released, I'm ready for the DVD of "James at 15" (and 16!), the greatest coming-of-age series of all time. Truth is, I can only read the novel based on the 1977-78 classic about a cute, young aspiring photographer/swim team member's journey into manhood after his family relocates from Oregon to Boston so many times. (That dreamy Lance Kerwin was my first crush -- or was it Kristy McNichol? Oh, well. What's the difference?) Won't you please help me, Mr. Murdoch?

Related: James at 15 16

It Takes All Kinds

Michael and I saw the lovably misanthropic Aimee Mann in concert last night at Highline Ballroom (a great venue I'd never been to before, btw). I always get a kick out of it when people you admire behave exactly as you would expect (dare I say caricaturesque?), and from the moment she set foot on stage and opened with the audience-unfriendly "Stranger Into Starman" (from her new album, "Fucking Smilers"), you knew what you were going to get: 90 minutes of unadulterated cynical Aimee Mann, and all the glory that goes along with it (they'd been on "The View" earlier in the morning and Aimee had a lot to say about those people!). She and her entire band -- which had more keyboards than a Kraftwerk reunion -- were right on target, and while she focused heavily on the new release ("Looking for Nothing," "Freeway," "Phoenix," "31 Today" "Little Tornado" "Borrowing Time" and "The Great Beyond" just off the top of my head, the last song about which she quickly noted that people on her Web site's message board had declared the weakest track on the new disc, yet proceeded to perform it!), there was a nice assortment of older material too -- which, naturally, did not include a single 'Til Tuesday song. The crowd was heavily prone to screaming out requests (her fan base is of the stalker-cult variety, so no surprise there) and while no one dared scream out "Voices Carry' -- you know, the ONE SONG that put her on the map and is arguably the reason most people were aware of her in the first place -- when someone requested the more introspective "Coming Up Close," a personal fave of mine from her old band's nearly flawless sophomore effort, "Welcome Home," you would have thought they'd asked Aimee to do their laundry: "We may do 'Red Vines' and 'I've Had It' later, but we definitely will not be doing "Coming Up Close," she replied, in a tone dripping with indignation (see what I mean, exactly what you would expect!). She didn't acknowledge my b-side request of "Jimmy Hoffa Jokes," but I'm going to assume she appreciated it for its offbeat quality.

 

She seems to consider her "Magnolia"/"Bachelor No. 2" period her "heyday" (she's still bitter at Phil Collins for "stealing her Oscar") and songs from those two were considered her "old hits" in place of her two actual Top 40 songs, "Voices Carry" and "What About Love?"

 

A perfect fit, for a girl in need of a tourniquet

No doubt "Deathly," "Wise Up" and "Save Me" (clip above) have taken on a nostalgic quality to them, so no one was really complaining. Truly old songs like "4th of July" and "You're With Stupid Now" were crowd pleasers too. (I would have loved to have heard "Going Through the Motions" from her previous album, but you can't have everything.) All in all a great show from a one-of-a-kind artist who clearly plays by he own set of rules.

I also would like to mention that The Submarines opened the show and while I went into it having never heard of them, I now consider myself a HUGE fan. So often headliners pick inappropriate bands to open for them (why, I don't know, it's the perfect opportunity to introduce a new band), but Aimee was dead-on in thinking The Submarines would appeal to her fan base -- and boy did they ever. (The crowd was begging for more by the time they wrapped up their half-hour set.) It seems they're a husband-and-wife team (John Dragonetti and Blake Hazard) from Los Angeles by way of Boston (like Aimee, minus the Virginia part?). who both play guitars and sing. (There's also a fun drummer on board and a lot of pre-recorded music.) Between her little girl vocals (think Tanya Donelly with a hint of what I think Feist sounds like based on her Apple commercial) and his quasi Bernard Sumner harmonies (even though he's American and looks like a younger Brian Wilson), they're about the cutest, freshest new band I've heard since Ivy. Interestingly, the Feist comparison turned out to be more prophetic than I realized when I came home and found out that their unbelievably delightful song "You, Me and the Bourgeoisie" is currently featured in the new Apple iPhone 3G commercial! (Does Steve Jobs love fun girl singers the way I do or what?) It looks like their music has also been used on shows like "Weeds," "One Tree Hill" and "Nip/Tuck," so perhaps the Ivy comparison is apropos too given Ivy's former status as Hollywood soundtrack darlings of the 1990s. (And they're also a husband-and-wife with a third!) If it's true that bands must tour in order to make money these days, then The Submarines can consider last night a huge success. I'll definitely go see them if they come back to town, and I'm racing out to buy both of their CDs tomorrow. (Their opener, "Swimming Pool," is my absolute FAVE!)

Yes, she really is this kooky!

Page 1 Consider (07/31)

Mistaken Identity: On Tuesday I posted a nekkid photo of actor Matthew Wolfenden ("Emmerdale") that was misidentified by Cosmo U.K. as Rugby Union fullback Nick Abendanon. This is the real Nick above -- both handsome, but quite similar looking, indeed. (KIT212)

Fat Cat: Did you see the 44-pound homeless cat found in New Jersey? (NYP)

Coming Soon: I want to send out a huge congratulations to my pal Yen Tan, whose film "Ciao" has been picked up for distribution this fall by Here! Films/Regent Releasing. You may recall that I have blogged about this movie extensively, most recently when it was shown at Newfest earlier this summer here in New York. (Here/Regent Releasing)

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back? President Bush signed a sweeping measure Wednesday that provides $48 billion to combat AIDS and other diseases globally and that also ends a long-standing U.S. ban on foreign visitors and immigrants who are HIV-positive. Its repeal, however, does not remove all U.S. travel impediments. Meantime, a new proposal by Bush seems to threaten access to birth control pills. (LAT)

Still Wild About Harry: Because the world (and by the world I mean me) can never see enough of model Scott Andreasen. (DudeFlesh) (Link OK; Site not as much.)

Giant Shoes to Fill: Paris Hilton isn't someone I normally blog about. But I thought her charity efforts in launching a new footwear line for women with ridiculously large feet was worth mentioning. (Are you reading this, Carly?) You go, Paris! (GossipGirls)

Making a Good Thing Better: Olivia Newton-John will host a special edition of Logo's weekly music show The Click List on Friday, Aug. 1 at midnight. (LOGO)

Sears Portrait Studio: Who knew "Gossip Girl" star Chace Crawford's dad was weatherman Sam Champion? (PerezHilton)

EuroTrash: Homophobic attacks in Stockholm that left two gay men fighting for their lives, two others seriously beaten, and three churches vandalized have shocked this city known for its liberal attitude toward homosexuality. (365Gay)

Home Run: Photog Karen Thompson caught James Blake -- in Cincinnati for this week's ATP event -- having some fun with Ken Griffey Jr. over the weekend. It seems to have helped his game, he advanced to the third round yesterday with a straight-sets victory over red-hot Gilles Simon, who just beat Roger Federer last week in Toronto. (CNN)

Stored Hate: Californians Against Hate officially kicked off its next awareness campaign in its endeavor to let America know where the money is coming from to take away the recently attained freedom to marry in California: Terry Caster owns A-1 Self Storage Co. of San Diego, which has 40 locations throughout California. Caster and his family have contributed nearly $300,000 to the Protect Marriage campaign, making them the biggest contributors from San Diego County where 35 percent of the money came from to qualify Proposition 8 for the Nov. 4 ballot. So effective today, we are asking our millions of friends and supporters all over the United States to help us by calling Terry Caster and asking him why he and his family are so strongly against marriage equality. Corporate Office Number: 800-219-4854, ext. 106 / Customer Service Number: 800-210-8979. (CallTerryCaster)

The Graduate

Here's (212) fave James Franco looking good yesterday outside the Ed Sullivan Theater in Midtown, where he paid David Letterman a visit to promote his new film, "Pineapple Express."