Rock-a-Bye Baby

What would Christina Aguilera sound like singing a lullaby? #crashing

A post shared by Kenneth M. Walsh (@kenneth_212) on Feb 26, 2018 at 10:14pm PST

Christina Aguilera: What an Ass!

Finally got around to watching the trailer for "Burlesque," Christina Aguilera's ill-timed film debut. As if the film didn't already reek of "Glitter," it's coming out at the big-voiced singer's nearly identical career low that Mariah Carey's vanity project did. In all honesty, it doesn't look that bad -- we already know Xtina can sort of act after her spot-on Samantha Jones impersonation and who doesn't like watching "Showgirls" on cable or Cher in anything? -- and now that I see Eric Dane and Cam Gigandet are in it too, I just may shell out the 13 bucks to see it on the big screen. Still, the film is destined to be a huge bomb. I mean, how telling is it that when I wrote THIS about Xtina in 2006 I received death threats but when I wrote THIS last month, no one said a word?

Page 1 Consider (06/27)

She's a Rebel: Heroic Elizabeth Edwards supports gay marriage and asked GOP hag Ann Coulter to shut her pie-hole on national television. Why isn't she running for president? (MSNBC)

Voir Dear! A Massachusetts jury has finally been selected to answer the $20,000 question: Should a murderer serving life in prison get a sex-change operation at taxpayer expense? (AP)

Some Like it Cold: The secret to a perfect iced coffee is revealed. (NYT)

Pauley Girl: Legendary television anchor Jane Pauley is set to receive the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism from my alma mater. "She has been one of the leading voices in broadcast journalism for a long time," Cronkite School Dean Christopher Callahan said. "I can tell you that from a journalism school perspective, she's been a great role model for a lot of young women who were thinking about going into the field." (AZRepublic)

State of Grace: My worship of crazy-prosecutor-woman Nancy Grace is well-documented, but a secret wedding and twins on the way at 47? This woman out-tabloids her most salacious court cases. (NYP)

Fact of the Matter: Here's the scoop on Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal's split, never mind the fact that they were never going out in the first place. (People)

Sorryabouttheface: Gee, I wonder why Guy Ritchie isn't jealous that Madonna still uses Babydaddy No. 1, Carlos Leon, as a personal trainer. Now running into Sean Penn might be a different story. (HollyScoop)

Commencement Apology: Marion A. Bolden, the superintendent in Newark, N.J., who ordered that the face of a boy kissing another boy be blacked out in the school's yearbook, showed up at the graduation rehearsal at East Side High School, was introduced to Andre Jackson, 18, and in front of the graduating class apologized for the incident. (365Gay)

Roid Rage: Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife, suffocated his 7-year-old son and placed a Bible next to their bodies before hanging himself by the pulley of a weightlifting machine, authorities said. Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths. Steroid abuse has been linked to depression, paranoia, and aggressive behavior or angry outbursts known as "roid rage." (NYP)

Shanghai Surprise: Nice tit job, Christina! (AP)