Page 1 Consider (08/01)

Bending It USA-Style: Sexy David Beckham's team is touring America. What is it he does, again? (Reuters)

Love Thy Gay Neighbor: A Rhode Island judge has ordered a woman Friday to stop directing hate slurs at her gay neighbor, saying the insults amounted to "hateful conduct" and interfered with the man's right to live in peace. The woman's lawyer, Christopher Millea, said his client's comments were protected by the First Amendment and were merely part of a "kindergarten name-calling contest," the AP reports. But the judge rejected that argument. I've heard of the Twinkie defense, but the "I know you are but what am I? defense? (GayWired)

This is What I Love: Several prominent Iraqi clerics and officials on Monday delivered their stiffest rebuke yet over the airstrikes on Lebanon, condemning Israel for the civilian casualties, even as shootings, bombings and mass kidnappings continued to plague Iraq. And then came the showstopper from the anti-American Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, who said he was ready to go to Lebanon to defend it if this would stop the war: "We, the unified Iraqi people, will stand with the Lebanese people to end the ominous trio of the United States, Israel and Britain, which is terrorizing Iraq, Lebanon, Afghanistan and other occupied nations," he said. "We do not want U.S. enterprises in the Middle East." (NYT)

iPod Shuffle: how do you only get a 22-year sentence for murdering a 15-year-old for his iPod? Shouldn't saying "Run the iPod" alone be worth life? (NYT)

Tour de Farce: Well here's a big shocker: tests show that some of the testosterone in Floyd Landis'’ system at the Tour de France was synthetic and not naturally produced by his body as he claimed, according to a newspaper report. (AP)

The Crying Game: Poor Boy George will perform his court-ordered community service by picking up trash on city streets in the August heat, a sanitation spokesman said. The one-time Culture Club singer -- who's been replaced by a non-clone named Sam -- will be issued a shovel, broom, plastic bags and gloves when he reports for five days of work on Aug. 14. Always the master of cultivating his image, George alreadyseems to be looking the part. (People)

Angel No Longer in the Outfield: How could the Mets trade hottie Xavier Nady like that? (MLB)