Santa’s Secret Is Out

After spending a memorable Christmas Eve in New Jersey with Damian and my in-laws, I returned to the city on Wednesday to work -- and then after be my friend Greg's plus-one to "Santa's Secret," which I would describe as a cross between an NC-17 version of the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular and a talent show in the basement of your local gay bar, where the entire staff is very hot. (Who else remembers the '90s?) More photos BELOW. 

Thanks, Greg! 

Lumberjack-ed

Subtle it's not

Like a virgin 

The beginning is an immersive experience, before being seated for a campy song-and-dance extravaganza that isn't entirely straight or gay, but fruity enough to keep the queens and the housewives happy while also making it palatable for the latter's husbands who were dragged along. 

I felt like Inyang Bassey was pandering to me -- singing "(They Long to Be) Close to You," "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Heart of Glass" -- and the boys weren't shy, so I was in heaven! 

Continues through New Year's Eve in NYC and Los Angeles. Ticket information HERE.

Time Out writes:

Turns out, the North Pole knows how to throw quite a party. Join in on the fun at Santa's Secret, a seductive speakeasy and immersive wonderland that's back in NYC for a fourth year. 

Here's what's on tap at this adults-only holiday extravaganza: Delightfully cheeky characters, including mischievous living toys, seductive gingerbread ladies, and the famed very jacked lumberjack. The journey culminates at Santa's Secret Speakeasy, where guests will enjoy a five-piece band led by powerhouse vocalist Inyang Bassey; a dazzling variety show featuring burlesque, aerialists and jaw-dropping acts; themed cocktails; and food by Michelin-starred chef Richard Farnabe.

This year, the event is moving to a massive new location: 548 W. 22nd St. in Chelsea, which will turn 26,000 square feet into a festive playground. Just don't let Santa party too hard -- or how will he deliver all the presents with a hangover?!

The show runs from November 29 until December 31. Tickets start at $75/person.