Juicy Joan

Oh, dear! Was Joan Crawford ever in Vanity 6? 

Remains of the Day (03/22)

Back2Stonewall: Library of Congress's National Registry selects Sylvester's "You Make Me Feel" for recording registry preservation 

Instagram: The luckiest pillow on God's green earth -- I hope it's on PrEP

Boy Culture: Madonna's "Like a Prayer" turns 30

Sun-Sentinel: Have you taken the "Florida Man Challenge"? (I got arrested for calling 911 to get a ride to Hooters!)

Towleroad: Cute 27-year-old Aussie in "complete shock" after contracting HIV while taking PrEP "on demand"

Instagram: Gus Kenworthy debuts fresh pink hair

Time: Magazine cover girl Alexandria Ocasio-Corez and Hillary Clinton mock Jared "ButHisWhatsApp" on Twitter

Washington Post: A transgender senior was a prom king candidate. The school said he could run -- as queen

Dlisted: When newly 60 Matthew Modine was a hot piece of ass

The New York Times: Teenager arrested in Charlottesville after racist online threat shuts schools for two days

Baseline: "Dancing With the Stars" has historically not been a good place for tennis players, but Agnieszka Radwanska is making the most of her stint

Deep Dish: Smooth and Speedo-ed

Gr8er Days: A terrific look back at Joan Crawford's last good role -- and last great performance

BosGuy: Thank God It's Furry Friday

Newsweek: 10 best gay beaches in the world

NewNowNext: Daddy's turn! "Call Me by Your Name" novel gets a sequel

The Daily News: Ex-priest who molested boys in N.J. now teaches kids in the Dominican Republic

Greg in Hollywood: Sex bomb Steve Grand goes spinning

View this post on Instagram

‪From @foster_kittens: “Maisy would like to be ALONE with her leg thank you very much” #catsofinstagram ‬

A post shared by Cats of Instagram (@cats_of_instagram) on Mar 17, 2019 at 1:41pm PDT

Hot Kitten of the Day: It's important to get those hard-to-reach spots!

Remains of the Day (03/23)

Outsports: Pro wrestler Anthony Bowens and his boyfriend, personal trainer Michael Pavano, speak out against online bullying

AmericaBlog: Facebook knows which doctors you go to

Vanugard: Gus Kenworthy on why he gives

Dlisted: Another one of Crazy Donald's mistresses says he compared her to daughter Ivanka

Towleroad: Craigslist shuts down personals -- even "missed connections"

Lecy Goranson: Reckoning with Roseanne, my TV mom

Gr8er Days: Happy Joan Crawford Day!

Hunk du Jour: Trevor Donovan is the definition of a man

The Film Experience: Film Bitch Awards finale: The medal ceremony

Time: Philadelphia college student who died during Bermuda rugby trip suffered fatal fall, no foul play suspected

Entertainment Weekly: Matt Bomer buys out theater in his Texas hometown for a screening of "Love, Simon"

The Washington Post: What a surprise: Crazy Donald carried on like a 2-year-old threatening to veto the spending bill and then abruptly signed it, as is

PinkNews: GOP aide fired within minutes after "anti-gay" and "sexist" Snapchat message (that was kinda hilarious)

BosGuy: I like when the furry ones wear those short, clingy shorts

Baseline: Three-time Miami champ Victoria Azarenka says she's doing everything for son Leo

The New York Times: John Bolton was an early beneficiary of Cambridge Analytica's Facebook data

New York Post: A sixth-grade teacher in Arizona has been arrested after the parents of a 13-year-old boy found text messages indicating a sexual relationship between the pair, police said

Made in Brazil: Behold the swimming portfolio

SpinCycle: Concert celebrates 15th anniversary of Boy George's cult musical "Taboo"

Metrosource: Armie Hammer is gay for pay yet again in a new docudrama, "Final Portrait"

OMG Blog: The Top 10 sexy future scenes

Deep Dish: Colton Ford in a bath tub works for me

The Randy Report: Stormy Daniels's lawyer trolls Trump with possible photographic evidence

Washington Blade: Defying court, Justice Department wno't name experts Crazy Donald "consulted" on trans ban

It's Either Sadness or Euphoria: Looking for your next book? Read reviews of Karen Cleveland's "Need to Know": Ron Bahar's "The Frontman"; Loretta Nyhan's "Diggin In"; and Candice Fox's "Crimson Lake"

Hot Cat of the Day: As we mourn the tragic death of firefighter Michael Davidson, who was killed on a movie set in Harlem, let's give thanks to all the brave men and women who work to keep us -- and our critters -- safe.

Tired Old Queen at the Movies: 'The Damned Don't Cry!' (1950)

Handsome Johnny stopped sending me Steve Hayes's wonderful film reviews, so I haven't shared one in ages. But what better way to get back into the groove than with a Joan Crawford picture?

Mildred, Fierce

This is how you dominate the Oscars news cycle, kids. From HERE.

Bette and Joan: A 'Feud' of Biblical Proportions

"Feud: Bette and Joan" premieres Sunday, March 5 at 10 p.m. on FX.

Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon star in an imagination of what really happened on the set of "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" -- aka the latest reminder that they don't make Hollywood stars like they used to. 

"Feud: Bette and Joan" is the first installment of the new FX anthology series from Ryan Murphy, tells the story of the legendary rivalry between Joan Crawford (Jessica Lange) and Bette Davis (Susan Sarandon) during their collaboration on the Academy Award-nominated thriller "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?," and well after the cameras stopped rolling. The series explores how the two women endured ageism, sexism, and misogyny while struggling to hang on to success and fame in the twilight of their careers.

Dearest Mommies

Over the weekend, a (new) friend described his cold mother as being "a lot like Faye Dunaway." And from the looks of things, Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange may soon find separating from their latest roles difficult too! Read HERE.

Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange Channel Bette Davis and Joan Crawford

I will forever hate Susan Sarandon for her stance on Hillary Clinton. But this photo does kind of soften the blow! Seen HERE.

Skyy's the Limit!

Entertaining 101.

'Cocktails & Classics' Serves Up 'Mommie Dearest' Tonight on Logo

Be sure to tune in to Logo's "Cocktails & Classics" tonight at 8:30 ET for an uproarious screening of the child-rearing classic "Mommie Dearest." Host Michael Urie and panelists Michael Musto, Drew Droege, DJ Pierce (Shangela) and Justin Vivian "I'm so special I need my own pronoun" Bond are joined by the one and only Rutanya Alda -- who played Joan's trusty assistant Carol Ann lived to tell about it in a juicy memoir -- to dish about the film between segments.

Last Sunday, I was thrilled to be asked by Musto to attend a party and screening at Kimpton's Eventi hotel to celebrate the "Mommie" episode of "Cocktails & Classics," and learned a few interesting details that I'd be surprised if they didn't come up on the actual show. Alda, whose "Mommie Dearest Diaries" didn't come out until 30 years after the film debuted, claimed she had NO IDEA people would be interested in the making of the film, to which I indignantly asked: "How did you go 30 years NOT knowing this?" (Alda says Dunaway recently asked her for help with her own "Mommie" memoir ... for free. She told Faye to just buy her book instead -- snap!) We also learned that while Alda was aged appropriately for the role by her makeup artist, Faye Dunaway must have put the brakes on Father Time, showing up to the set looking exactly the same as she did during scenes from decades before! In person, however, we learned Alda's makeup artist was partially to blame for completely missing the boat on how she would age -- the woman still looks incredible 30-some real years later! (Video of chat HERE.)

While the audience all agreed "Mommie Dearest" is a cult classic for the ages, it was also unanimous that people believe Christina Crawford, whom many thought grossly exaggerated or flat-out lied about her childhood when her memoir came out in 1978. It didn't take long before some attendees started to recall that Bette Davis' daughter tried to capitalize on the book's success by writing her own tell-all a few years later, "My Mother's Keeper." The crux of her abuse is best encapsulated in this scene -- that I have since referred to as "The Macaroni and Cheese Incident" -- that makes being beaten with a wire hanger seem like a day on your backyard merry-go-round.

B.D. Hyman writes:

Watching Mother work was more tiring by far than doing the work oneself, particularly if it happened to be cooking. When Mother cooked in her own house, one didn't see the production she made out of the simplest things (largely because no on was ever allowed in her kitchen), but now she was in my kitchen, and pure nervousness forced me to watch her every move. Rather than try to describe her technique in general terms, I'll detail in full her preparation of lunch on the first day.

Stouffer's frozen Macaroni and Cheese -- the directions on the box read "Place in oven, uncovered and still frozen, for 35 minutes at 375 degrees and serve." Here are Mother's directions, based on the way she did it that morning:

Cover a counter with several layers of paper towels and place frozen casseroles thereon; remove covers and allow to thaw. 

Cover another counter with several layers of paper towels, slice a large tomato and leave slices on towels. 

Sit on stool, smoke nervously and sip from drink hidden behind flour canister while you watch casserole thaw. WARNING -- do no take eyes off casseroles or they will fail to thaw properly. 

When casseroles are fully thawed, get large casserole dish and tip thawed casseroles into it. Thoroughly mush around with forefinger until satisfied. 

Sprinkle with bread crumbs and arrange tomato slices around edge. 

Hold lengthy debate with interested parties as to exact time dish is to be served.

WARNING -- Macaroni and cheese is very tricky and must be done just right. 

Preheat over for 45 minutes at 375 degrees, meanwhile moving casserole dish around counter and to different counters to facilitate blending. 

Place casserole dish in over for 35 minutes. Announce lunch loudly and serve, chewing bottom lip in concentration.

Fidget until praised for efforts, then remind diners that macaroni and cheese is tricky and requires some little work.

So it went for three days. I did the cleaning, with some help from Ashely, now eight, since Mother never had time to leave the kitchen. 

How this poor woman even lived to tell of this harrowing event is anyone's guess, but I'm certain the book was never made into a major film because no producer in Hollywood would have dared to sully a film legend like Bette Davis' reputation with such horror!

Joan on the Range

"Tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall and put a window where it ought to be." From HERE.

Faye Dunaway Relents, Will Write Book About 'Mommie Dearest'

Three decades of birthday-wishes have finally been answered. Once a subject that made the Academy Award winner cringe, Faye Dunaway will finally tell all about the film she believes destroyed her career. All the delicious details HERE.

Via Publisher’s Lunch:

Faye Dunaway’s recollections, stories and behind the scenes account of the making of one of Hollywood’s most iconic films, Mommie Dearest, to Julia Cheiffetz at Dey Street Books, by Alan Nevins at Renaissance (World).

Talking Tina

  Perhaps she is one of my fans, though. #MollyDearest

Joan on the Range

Posted (mostly) without comment.

'Christmas With the Crawfords' Returns to NYC

Joey Arias as Joan Crawford? Where do I sign up?!!!

From a release:

Richard Winchester, producer and co-founder of Artfull Circle Theatre in San Francisco is proud to announce the return to New York of the hilarious holiday musical comedy hit, the Drama Desk-nominated "Christmas With the Crawfords" coming to Abrons Art Center this December. CWTC stars downtown legend Joey Arias as Joan Crawford and Project Runway's Chris March as her darling daughter Christina. Connie Champagne returns as Judy Garland -- a role in which she has garnered international acclaim. Sherry Vine (Keith Levy) will take on the dual role of Hedda Hopper and Baby Jane Hudson in her first appearance in the show.  

Based on the actual Christmas Eve live radio broadcast of the Crawford family from their Brentwood mansion in the late 1940s, "Christmas With the Crawfords" is a loving homage to and parody of Hollywood's Golden Age and is filled with appearances of major Tinsel Town icons, such as Judy Garland, Carmen Miranda, Gloria Swanson and the Andrews Sisters.  

 Magic, music and mayhem rule the holidays as Mommie Dearest tries to prove to the world she's not all washed up only to have her evening come crashing down in a campy melange of cat fighting and family feuding. An audience and critic’s favorite since its debut in San Francisco in 1992, "Christmas With the Crawfords" is a delightful alternative to the usual fare offered during the holiday season, and is guaranteed to make anyone who sees it feel much better about their own family this time of year.

A preview will be presented on Wednesday, December 10 at 7:30pm.
Tuesday - Thursday performances are on December 11, 16, 17, 18, 23, & at 7:30pm.
Friday & Saturday shows on the 12, 13, 19, 20, 26 & 27 begin at 8:00pm.
Sunday performances on December 14 & 21 begin at 7:00pm.

All performances take place at Abrons Art Center - 477 Grand Street - NYC 10002.

Tickets: $45 (general admission)
Call 212 352-3101 or click HERE.

Does It Look Clean to Yooooouuuuu?

Better go on eBay to put your bid in on this "Mommie Dearest" shower curtain before your old straight college roommate snatches it up. Bid HERE.

Who's That Broad?

+

=

'With This Money I Can Get Away From You'

I'll bet that ingrate bitch Veda would like to get her hands on this dough! Read HERE.

Tired Old Queen at the Movies: 'Flamingo Road' (1949)

This week Steve Hayes reviews "Flamingo Road," the 1949 Joan Crawford vehicle that re-teamed the star with director Michael Curtiz, who guided her to an Oscar five years earlier in "Mildred Pierce." (She even plays another waitress!)

Tired Old Queen at the Movies: 'Torch Song' (1953)

This week, Steve Hayes reviews Joan Crawford's 1953 musical, "Torch Song."

The Tired Old Queen Says: MGM pulled out all the stops in 1953 to welcome Joan Crawford back to her home studio. Since musicals were by that time their bread and butter, who better to put into a lavish, Technicolor musical than the woman who'd first won their hearts as the "Charleston Queen" back in the late '20s? The movie was called "Torch Song," and they hired veteran musical director Charles Walters to take Joan through the ropes and gave her the full MGM glamor treatment. But a lot of water had passed under the bridge since her Charleston days, let alone since she'd last stepped foot on a sound stage at MGM. Although fresh from a huge success in the independent thriller "Sudden Fear," Joan was now in her early 50s and a mass of insecurities. The character she played in "Torch Song," a famous but difficult Broadway musical star, who fights and alienates everyone around her out of fear of being rejected and abandoned, wasn't too far from the actress herself and she was feeling particularly vulnerable. The film was a failure at the box office, but it's Joan at her bitchy best. It's brash, vulgar and totally compelling. The scene where Joan does a number in black-face has to be seen to be believed. It's pure Crawford, pure Hollywood, pure hokum, and simply Fabulous!