Page 1 Consider (03/27)

Daddy-O! Cutie Chris O'Donnell can't seem to produce a hit movie anymore, but he sure can produce children. (AP)

Shuffleboard Battle of the Sexes: First '70s icon Eric Estrada tries to sell us some swamp land in Arkansas, and now Billie Jean King is hawking gay senior resorts. No word on Marilyn Barnett's retirement plans ... (PlanetOut)

Case Dismissed: Mary Winkler, the mother of 3 who admitted killing her preacher man husband, told a friend from their parish that she was "sorry for everything." Now I'm not a big church fart, but I do know forgiveness is where it's at. I say let her go. (AP)

She's Just Like Us: The queen of celebrity rags Bonnie Fuller's new how-to book for working women, "The Joys of Much Too Much," is out next month. In it, the editorial diva stops belittling her staff long enough to reveal her vulnerable side, confessing that she was "a geeky, Canadian Jewish girl from a dysfunctional family." Is that shorthand for "makes her staff stay at work for 48 hours at a time and refuses to learn how to use a computer -- instead making an intern read and type all of her e-mail messages for her?" (JournalNews)

Found Out What It Meant to Him: The Seattle man who blew away six young adults at a "zombie rave" is described as "polite" and "respectful." That's gotta be comforting to the victims' families; you wouldn't want your loved one murdered in cold bloody by someone who is rude and disrespectful. (AP)

Cock Fight: Man throws his penis at police -- so the cops taser his ass. (PinkNews)

Lezzie Borden: "Help you? I wouldn't spit on you," said Juliet Wilson as she poured boiling bleach over her girlfriend in a jealous rage. (PinkNews)