Turn the Beat Around

Last night's benefit for Jackie Beat's new pair of hips was everything you'd expect it to be. With everyone from Joan Rivers, Jackie Hoffman and Sherry Vine to Debbie Harry, Fred Schneider and Robin Byrd, it was -- as Murray Hill so eloquently put it -- as much a fundraiser for the decrepit drag queen as it was a showcase for people whose careers peaked 15 years ago. (To which I say: At least they had careers!) Hill also pointed out that Jackie may have transitioned to a career in Hollywood -- she's a writer for Joan Rivers' "Fashion Police" -- yet she still wasn't legitimate enough to have health insurance. (Can't Joan do something about that over at E!????)

Joan opened the show with a few retard jokes, which set the tone for the evening ...

Jackie nearly lost her funding by singing "Jew Coloreds" (they only exist in Hollywood, you know) to the tune of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors." ("If you know Cyndi, please don't tell her about this," she requested.) The KKK being able to "kill two birds with one stone" line was my fave!)

 Goddess Debbie Harry didn't perform, but she did do a mean Bozo ... or was it Little Orphan Debbie?

Miss Guy performed DJ duties before and after the show -- her taste was typically flawless -- and Debbie introduced the Toilet Boy's new video, "Magic"