Thursday, April 10, 2008

'I Work With Retards'

This story was credited to The N.Y. Times, but why does it sound like it was written by Matt Dillon's character (Pat Healy) in "There's Something About Mary"?

Sentence Overturned
CINCINNATI -- The Ohio Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned the death sentence of a man convicted of murder after concluding that he was mentally retarded. The court decided 7 to 0 to reverse a lower court ruling that the man, Clifton White, 35, formerly of Akron, was not mentally retarded.



The Doctorrr says: This brilliant slice of dialogue from "There's Something about Mary" where Matt Dillon's sleazy detective, Pat Healy tries to impress Cameron Diaz's Mary with a display of depth. I laughed so hard at this at the cinema I couldn't breathe. Dillon should've gotten an Oscar for it:

HEALY
I work with retards.

MARY
I beg your pardon?

HEALY
You know...the guys who ride the short bus.

MARY
Isn't that a little politically incorrect?

HEALY
The hell with that. No one's gonna tell me
who I can and can't work with.

MARY
No, I mean

HEALY
--There's this one kid, we call him Mongo
on account of he's a mongoloid. He got out
of his cage once and--

MARY
--He's in a cage?!

HEALY
Well it's more of an enclosure really.

MARY
They keep him confined? That's bullshit!

HEALY
That's what I said, so I went out and got
him a leash you know, one of those
clothesline runners for the backyard. He's
got plenty of room out there to dig. The
kid's really blossomed. Now I can take him
to ball games, movies--you know, happy
stuff.

MARY
That sounds like fun.

HEALY
Yeah, it's fun for them, but it's heaven
for me.
(getting emotional)
Those goofy bastards are just about the
best thing I have in this crazy old world.
(checks watch)
Ooh, hey, I gotta run.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I meant to tell you in Michigan a few weeks ago the Knights of Columbus STILL sell Tootsie Rolls for donations wearing those fluorescent vests and walking in the middle of traffic. Every other vest I saw said "HELP THE RETARDED" on it!!! (a select few said "Mentally Challenged")