Everybody Loves a Hummer

In case you missed this, here is a hilarious deleted scene from the new film "Knocked Up." Let's hope the undeleted scenes are half as funny!

Seems Like Old Times

Hottie Newcastle striker Michael Owen says he's happy to have his former Real Madrid teammate David Beckham back on the England squad. The pair, who spent a season together at the Santiago Bernabeu before Owen transfered to Newcastle, will play together for the first time since last year's World Cup in Saturday's friendly against Brazil. Now if only Michael would become David's Kato Kaelin on the Beckhams' new Los Angeles reality show ... now that would be worth watching.

Washington, We Have a Problem

Republicans are abuzz with the hope that former actor/senator Fred Thompson will come to the rescue of the whimpering GOP, whose leading presidential candidates so far are a crackpot, former New England governor/male-model Mormon and a thrice-married, pro-choice / pro-gay-rights crossdressing New Yorker. But as good as Thompson sounds on paper, is Christian America really ready for a trophy wife in the White House? Thompson, who turns 65 in August, has three kids with his first wife, whom he divorced in 1985 after 26 years of marriage, and one with his current wife, Jeri Kehn, whom he started dating when she was in her late 20s. He's more than old enough to be her father -- and finally married in 2002 when she was 35. (NYP)

Lucas Kerr Wallpaper

Designed by my friend Greg Jelinek, the first in an eight-part series. Hubba-hubba!

Page 1 Consider (05/31)

Frosty Patron: A Wendy's manager was shot in the arm for refusing to give a customer 10 packets of hot sauce for his chili, claiming it violated the store's strictly enforced sauce policy. I had a similar incident with my Chicken McNuggets at the McDonald's on 50th and Broadway. If I'd only had a gun that sweet and sour would have been so much sweeter and sourer ... (NBC)

Lancelot: Wait. David Hyde Pierce was in the closet? (AE)

Hack Attack: A man with a form of tuberculosis so dangerous he is under the first U.S. government-ordered quarantine since 1963 had health officials around the world scrambling Wednesday to find passengers who sat near him on two trans-Atlantic flights. Is this why I can't stop coughing? (AP)

Hairy Situation: Debra Opri, the onetime lawyer for Anna Nicole Smith's baby-daddy, Larry Birkhead, is suing him claiming he didn't pay his legal bills during the paternity dispute involving the child. She also wants to be reimbursed for frosting his hair. (AP)

Faithless: Pop tart George Michael: Once a mess, always a mess? (AP)

St. Tropez Bound: Do you know where to draw the tan line? (NYT)

A Number of Years of Solititude: Nobel Prize-winning Colombian novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez returned Wednesday for the first time in a quarter century to his birthplace and inspiration for the fictional town Macondo, immortalized in his masterpiece "One Hundred Years of Solitude." (AP)

Daddy-O: Train wreck Lindsay Lohan's class-act dad says his famous daughter is addicted to OxyContin. Of course she is. (AP)

No Laughing Matter: The Laugh Factory has finally made an honest woman out of Jon Lovitz. (AP)

Infinite Wisdom? Do you think Steve Stanton -- soon to be Susan Ashley Stanton -- didn't get the job as city manager of Tampa because she told her prospective employers during the interview that having a transsexual city manager would not be problematic or disruptive for the staff. How does she know? (Source)

Thursday Ad Watch

This week's eye-catching advertisements.