Page 1 Roundup (09/09)

The Daily News: Homeless, mentally ill -- and facing prison time for taking four pairs of socks from NYC department store that cracks down on shoplifters

Elizabeth Warren is catching up to Joe Biden in a new poll.

Instagram: Your morning workout with Chris Clark and his hunky friend

Dlisted: Disappointing news about Kevin Hart

The Randy Report: ‘The Blond One’ explores visceral attraction amid Latin machismo

Towleroad: Orlando Bloom says his dick isn't as big as you think

Back2Stonewall: Florida man arrested in Walmart terror threat called himself “registered Republican” and “white nationalist”

The Daily Beast: Caitlyn Jenner got the meanest jokes at the Alec Baldwin roast, but I still think they went too easy on privileged her

New York Post: ‘Doors off’ NYC chopper flights for dogs spark outrage

Parkland dad: Massacre was avoidable, if district hadn’t enabled deranged student

Tiffany Trump, Marla Maples pose for risqué ‘Confessional’ art project

The New York Times: Democrats to Broaden Impeachment Inquiry Into Trump to Corruption Accusations

How Trump’s plan to secretly meet with the Taliban came together, and fell apart

Samantha White: Just to be clear: Hating Donald Trump is not the same as hating America. It’s actually the complete opposite.

Political Wire: Used to think Trump was an anomaly, but now I'm not convinced things can ever bounce back into shape after what we're experiencing right now (ICYMI)

The Washington Post: Scientists are being warned not to tell the truth

Lindsey Graham and far-right leader Geert Wilders were photographed smiling together

The Wall Street Journal: Wineries become ‘Disneyland for adults’ with Submarines, climbing walls

What’s really going on at Area 51: Maybe the biggest UFO party on Earth