Justin Hand recounts being sexually assaulted on Jan. 19 in a motel room at Parliament House "resort" in Orlando, Florida.
(Video has been removed)
EDITOR'S NOTE: I spoke to Justin at length last night via instant message. Although I have my own questions, concerns, sympathies regarding what he went through, I decided to post this without inserting my thoughts and just let his words speak for himself, as I think male rape is a subject that does not get enough attention. One thing people have been asking that he did not address, however, is whether or not the police were called. He, like many victims of sex crimes, chose not to as he felt they would not believe him, and that he would be victimized all over again. He opted to make this video instead as it allows him to have control over what is said about the event.
11 comments:
Won't speak negative comments about any victim. So, I'll simply suggest this we should all prepare to protect ourselves. Carry pepper spray. Learn self-defense. And, I will ask Jason, why go for the condom and not the balls? A good squeeze will get the biggest guy where it counts. Finally, Jason, I suspect you felt a lot more fear than this video depicts. You need to get in touch with those feelings and let that pain out. Otherwse it will fester and poison your life. Get help, honey.
I have not been to Parliament House in over 6 years. My last experience there was enough for me to not go back. I was raped in my 20's and it took years to get over it. It did give me a heightened sense of awareness when it came to guys and situations. It came in handy 6 years ago. Met some friends at Parliament they were meeting a friend of theirs who came in to town for the weekend. Off the bat he was very was hitting on me and getting touchy. I told him I was with someone and that seemed to up the ante. I am not big on people touching me anymore without my consent. Anyway, he would not leave me alone. Offered to buy me a drink and I thought to myself he wont leave you alone. Stupid me says yes and ask for a Rum&Coke he comes back to me with a can of beer. Stupid me drinks the beer. He asks me to go back to his place he is staying at. I was annoyed with him and friends who would not tell him stop. So I decided to go home. I told him I would leave with him let me just say goodbye to everyone. I did not bother saying bye to anyone.
I crossed the street got in my car. That is the last I recall. Next thing I am woken by a crash. Air bags deploy, face hurts, chest hurts, and I am gushing blood. Get out of my car front is totaled. Thankfully I didn't hit someone. I had no clue on the way home I would pass out from whatever he gave me. I had two drinks that night one I purchased myself and one was given to me. I have never ever since then even at a straight bar accepted another drink from someone.
Sadly Justin story is not the first and probably wont be the last at Parliament House. Wish you all the best on your recovery kiddo. Even to this day after seeing help the flashes of my rape almost 20 years ago still haunt.
as a victim of incest and rape the only option I knew of was silence, which manifested itself in all kinds of self inflicted damage over the years but this was the 70's and early 80's; no Oprah, no shows that address this regularly and no social media as a legitimate form of communication!
...it's a foreign world when this is an outlet for the younger generation. I'm confused that a young man would post this to youtube so nonchalantly in my opinion and eloquently detailed (the soundtrack to my rape!!) but I'll do my best not to judge and hope this is how this young man (this generation) deals and is able to move forward since he has chosen not to go to the authorities.
BUT still this just sounds...
I did look up the location of Parliament and there is an LGBT Center not more than 3 miles away that says it offers legal advocacy among other services. I would encourage this young man to do more than just post this story to youtube. Perhaps they have someone who can also help him navigate the police procedures for accusing the guy he says raped him
http://www.thecenterorlando.org/services/
With whatever I say please know I pass no judgment – only offers of help/advice based on my own experience.
I am not one to usually respond to blogs although I do read them. Kenneth212 is one of my regulars. I’ll try to keep this brief.
I walked in the door today; plopped down my bogs and logged on. With horror I was immediately drawn to the two videos Justin posted. What came through to me was his sweetness, his innocence and his heart. His heart came through so through that I feared, and fear, that his message may not be heard. Who the hell am I to make this judgment? A rape survivor myself who had just come home from his therapy session 40 years after being raped for 2 years (from 12-14). By a law enforcement member in my home town..
We are a superficial society; quick to judge and even quicker to forget. Justin was raped people. Raped. By what sounds like to be some steroid party boy who has never heard “no” before (sorry I could resist that part).
Justin I understand why you would choose to go public the way you did. Again, I pass no judgment but I wish you’d step back. I wish you would get your story out there “professionally.” Let someone interview you. Let Kenneth, or whomever, help you. The regret I have is not bringing my assailant to justice. You still have time but if you don’t wish to nobody would blame you.
At the very least reach out to a professional. What has happened to you is now lifelong. That I can see personally – I’m 54 and this happened to me when I was 12-14.
I hope you are getting the love and support you need. If not I offer my two big shoulders, ears and a heart that would help you in any way.
Sincerely,
Paul
I am glad Justin posted the video. It will be a reminder that bad things can happen anywhere. So many people go along with things they shouldn't just to avoid a scene. Remember what they tell women on every show you've ever seen. Do not go out of view because that when things escalate. I'd imagine Justin thought, it's a hotel with people all over...what could happen. Well there is no safe place. I doubt the police will be of help given the state of police attitudes when it comes to gays and sex. They'll turn it into something it wasn't. If there were to interview the people in the next room, they will likely say that the headboard banging they heard was no different than any random weekend night. Go to that center some earlier commenter suggested. Get yourself healthy. Describe the guy to hotel management. Take control of what you can take control of. Most of all, be well.
I don't want to undermine his experience, but I don't understand why he'd do a YouTube video so quickly, yet not go to the authorities if he truly feels he was raped.
I watched the videos a few times over just to get into that space, and I'm going to be honest...it sounds VERY similar (almost play for play in a couple of instances) to some situations I encountered several years ago.
I do not, however, choose to label my experiences as "rape," though, because I think it undermines the experiences of people who've really experienced sexual assault. I wished I had not gone along with it all, and I wanted out of the situation, but when I readdress the issue, I did not leave because even though I didn't want to have sex -- and even uttered a couple of no's -- I still wanted to be desired.
It seems he had several opportunities to leave. It seems he could have given a more emphatic NO, even if that meant screaming to get the roommate to wake up. I wasn't there, so I can't say. But I've had this discussion with other young gay bottoms, too. You can't label regret as rape. You can't say no in a cute, coquettish way and expect it to mean "no" to the guy pursuing you.
Many of us want to be desired, but we have to learn to give emphatic no's and then LEAVE if the encounter is not something we truly want to go through with.
And, if you truly feel that you were taken advantage of and assaulted sexually, you contact the authorities. You don't post a video on YouTube that can be used as evidence against YOU.
Justin, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know you know this, but it never hurts to hear it again: This wasn't your fault. It was his choice to be a rapist. You didn't do anything wrong. I am so sorry he chose to violently rape you. Please keep taking care of yourself however you need to.
I'm sorry there are so few viable options for justice. We've failed you.
What a load of crap from a drama queen - 2 videos! And that voice, was not prepared for that voice.
I was very skeptical of this story when it first ran, and now I don't believe it at all after seeing this same guy selling cinnamon lube...http://www.manhub.com/watch/286409/hot-cinnamon-flavored-anal-lube/
it takes a lot of guts to put yr face out there, as u did, and is so important to do it for so many reasons.
Your voice and your words will educate others, will help other, will validate others.
I hope u geeting the support u need. warm huggs xo
Again, it truly bothers me that because Justin admits to enjoy casual sex and sells on camera cinnamon lube (as per Tom) it undermines the legitimacy of his on camera testimony.
Again it goes back to the old idea that you are raped cuz u were dressed for it, or implies that u provoked the attacker.
You can sell lube online, have casual sex, and still be raped...ignorance sucks
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