Friday, July 16, 2010

Phantom Rims

So it's been 24 hours since I had my LASIK eye surgery. I'm kind of in shock at how well I can already see, given the fact that you can still see the blood-lined flaps that were cut in my eyes to allow for the laser reshaping of my corneas. These pictures were taken seconds after I got out of the taxi last night, when I promptly went home, popped a sleeping pill (that the doctor provided) and allowed the healing process to begin. Right now, my left eye is 100 percent sharp and seeing crystal clear. My right eye is still a bit fuzzy (my doctor says it's "slightly behind" in the healing process versus the left -- does this mean I now have a "lazy" eye?), but I'm already able to do everything -- including read -- sans glasses. I'm truly ecstatic, but after six years of wearing my glasses nearly full time, I keep finding myself still feeling them on my face and reaching for them! It's kind of funny, but really drives home the horror of what people who lose limbs must go through. Modern medicine is pretty amazing stuff, but I do want to go on the record -- unlike any of my friends who had LASIK before me -- as saying that when I was on that operating table last night and that suction cup latched on to my first eye and the whole thing began, I was SCARED OUT OF MY F**KING MIND, Xanyx or no Xanyx! No, there wasn't any pain. But when you smell your eye balls burning as you lie pinned to a table, it's a pretty horrifying experience. I don't say this to scare anyone off -- I'd do it again in a second -- but I probably wouldn't have been half as freaked out if someone had leveled with me going into this what exactly it felt like. Let's just call this my version of a public service announcement!

4 comments:

Kap said...

I had Lasik years ago and it was the best decision ever.
I did a wee dance of celebration and cut up my old lenses!

Mark said...

>>when you smell your eye balls burning as you lie pinned to a table, it's a pretty horrifying experience.

Oh heck, that reminds me of sweatshop copy desks I've worked on. You get used to it, honest!

Seriously, as someone who's considered undergoing the same ordeal, I appreciate the straight talk about the scary stuff.

Glad the post-eyeball-burning process is going well - hope that laggard right eye catches up soon. In the meantime the shades are a good look for you.

BTW I hope that experimental X-ray vision enhancement is working out as promised.

john said...

I'm so glad that it all went well for you. i've been waiting to read about your experience, because I really want to get it done, but i'm so scared of getting my eyes totally fucked up (hello, Kathy Griffin). I'm out in LA, and there are Lasik doctors on every corner and I have no idea how to shop for the right one.
Do you have any tips or ideas on how to shop for the right LASIK (tm) surgeon?

Joe said...

Lasik? I wore glasses or contacts from the fifth grade and had cataract surgery on both eyes at 58. I still look for my glasses first thing in the morning. When my eyes get dry at night I start to go to take my contacts out. After about 5 months I'm finally getting adjusted. But I see great with no correction (implants) after 47 years.

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