I'm ba-a-ack! Did-ja miss me? (Don't answer that!) I know my old pal Steve did... Thanks for writing, Steve! (Steve is a fab actor who I worked with "back in the day" on a little gay play festival called
Sorry to up and abandon you all the way I did. Two weeks ago, I was soaking up in the sun in South Beach, and last week, I had to work my day job in order to make up for taking the time off to soak up the sun in SoBe... But here I am!
To catch you up to speed... Stringy-haired Nicolas is "aut" and Hottie Logan is "aut."
The Park Slope party pad was in full swing last night with Tim, Jason, Nick & Adam, Craig & myself, and Saskia who informed us that hubbie Scott was in rehearsal for a new gay play called Loaded, starring hottie Kevin Spirtas, aka ex-Dr. Craig Wesley from Days of our Lives and Hugh Jackman standby in The Boy from Oz. Saskia promised us lots of man-on-man action and nudity in this one, so we'll be sure to check it out -- as you should, too, if you're in the (212)!
Truth be told, I'm a little rusty with the Project Runway recapping, but here goes...
Tonight's challenge: Create a look inspired by the Getty Museum in Los Angeles.
As the designers began sketching their ideas, Tim (our Tim, not Tim Gunn) piped up with "Carol Hannah needs to diversify... She needs to make pants!" This would become a recurring theme throughout the night. Along with Tim's abhorrance of Gordana's "everything is gray" motif.
Off to Mood...
Tim (our Tim) asks, "Is Mood in a strip mall?" We contemplate the fact that before PR, was there was no Mood in Los Angeles? Is it like one of those Halloween stores that just pop up along with the season, and once it's over, shuts down? I thought maybe, since there was special attention paid to showing the Mood employees as they waved good-bye to the designers for the final time this season.
It should be noted that while at Mood, PR's good-girl, Carol Hannah made a snarky comment about the Mood employee not cutting her fabric fast enough. To which Adam replied, "It's Mood, not Attitude."
Back to the workroom...
Tim (Gunn, not our Tim) arrives to consult with the designers, who are starting to feel the pressure of Bryant Park approaching. They're picking at each other, and Irina is still pissed at Althea ("Without Nipples") for copying her Aspen look sweater from last week's challenge.
Tim tells Christopher ("Beard Boy"): "Keep an editing eye" and mentions something about stalactites.
Christopher (model: Katie)
Tim tells Carol Hannah: "Ack! Don't lose the sophistication."
Carol Hannah (model: Lisa)
Tim tells Irina: "Looks alot like road kill" and throws in "post-apocalyptic" for good measure. Good! I still hate the bitch!)
Irina (model: Kalyn)
Tim tells Althea: "A panel of puckering." Though Saskia is happy with Althea's choice to be inspired by the building's architecture, and not some lame Monet painting, the way Gordana is.
(To which Jason said: "She just got out of the Eastern Bloc... What do you expect?")
Althea (model: Tanisha)Tim tells Gordana: "Really impressed" and calls her dress "angelic, and spirited." Jason decides it looks like "Meat Curtains."
Gordana (model: Matar)
The models arrive for their 30 minute fitting...
I'm appalled when the models start giving the designers advice. Must have something to do with Models of the Runway which I'm embarrassed to say, we've been watching each week. (I hate Lisa's look, and Craig has a straight-crush on Matar.)
Adam (devastated now that Logan is gone) decides "Beard Boy would be cute if he didn't have the beard." Speaking of Christopher... Tim (our Tim) worries that Christopher is going to start crying again at any moment. When Christopher writes a message on the apartment chalk board before heading to the runway, Jason wonders: "Who's he leaving a message for? He lives alone!"
And why does "Meana Irina" have her last name written on tape and taped to her bed? Is she that territorial?! Jason decides, "She probably peed on it like an animal to mark it."
Nick decides he likes the mess of Christopher's dress. (Oh, Nick!)
Jason decides Althea's look is a mess. Tim decides that it looks like a matress pad.
It's the day of the show, y'all...
The Park Slope party-goers are not impressed with this week's offerings. Jason thinks Gordana's dress looks like a "Big Vagina." (Craig and I actually liked it -- not because of the vagina resemblance!) Jason also decides: "There is so much mess on that TV" and is fascinated when they pull away from Gordana's wrinkly knees to guest judge Cynthia Rowley's wrinkly face.
Regarding the judges: Nina Garcia is back. Along with Cindy Crawford who looks absolutely fabulous. Adam sighs that he's missed the former Cover Girl (was she, or am I just making that up?) I can't help but remember her attempt at acting in that so-called movie with Billy Baldwin -- or was it the other Baldwin? The hot one? You know who I'm talking about.
Hedi tells Althea: "A mess fest." (Doesn't really rhyme, but she's German!)
Nina tells Althea: "Length is Old Lady."
The judges seem to like Gordana's gown, but then decide it's "not so great from the back" (Nina Garcia).
Cynthia Rowley tells Carol Hannah: "The fit is fantastic."
Nina uses the word "perfection" but I can't read my handwriting as to what else she said. (I've had two Tequila Mockingbirds at this point!)
Cindy Crawford tells Christopher: She likes the top, but the skirt "had a life of it's own." To which Jason cries: "Don't cry!" and Tim squeals, "Squish!" and mashes up his face in his best Christopher-crying impression. But what can Christopher expect when he admits his design was based on "a rock with algea."
Then Heidi pulls a Project Runway first (at least we think it is)... She asks each designer why they think they should go to Bryant Park and who they would take with them?
Gordana chooses Christopher and Irina.
Carol Hannah chooses Christopher (for his "interesting ideas") and Althea.
Irina -- who actually gets a heart here and says she doesn't want to have to chooose! -- picks Althea and Gordana.
Talk about a bullshit/reality show moment if there ever was one! And Tim (our Tim) is flabbergasted that anyone would pick Carol Hannah when she can't make a pair of pants!
After the designers are sent away, Nina laments that she still doesn't know who Gordana is "as a designer." Adam says, "That's because you've been on TWO episodes the entire season, Nina!"
The results... (do I need to mention "Spolier Alert"?)
Christopher is aut. (Surprisingly, he doesn't cry!)
Carol Hannah is going to Fashion Week (where we learn she will make pants!)
Althea is in... and Gordana is aut.
We were under the impression that today's challege was the deciding factor in who stays and who goes (ie, Chris Dautry on American Idol). But it seemed that in this case, Althea was given a pardon since her work over the course of the season was consistenlty good, and all Gordana ever did was make a gray dress!
Your thoughts?
Project Runway airs at 10pm ET on Lifetime TV
*FRANK ANTHONY POLITO is a Brooklyn-based author, playwright, and actor.
1 comment:
There is a Mood in Los Angeles, but it's nowhere near where they were filming. One of the many problems of shooting this season in LA is that unlike Manhattan, you can't get "across town" with relative ease. If they had gone to the actual Mood location, it would have literally taken a couple hours out of their day - time that should be spent on challenges. Mood set up shop in a temporary location so the show would have easy access.
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