Page 1 Consider (04/07)

Take What You Can Get: Why am I not surprised Maxim's Least Sexy Woman Alive, Sarah Jessica Parker, isn't doing anything to stop production of a sex doll of her likeness? (NYP)

Laugh Lines: The NY Post has assembled the 50 best jokes from the past year. Two of my faves: ROSEANNE: A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer." WENDY LIEBMAN: My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. I just moved his chair closer to the one we already have. (NYP)

Heartbreaker: A man who received a heart transplant from a suicide victim and then even ended up marrying the donor's widow has committed suicide himself. What is going on here? (AP)

Judge Joseph: I completely don't agree with this Canadian ruling that HIV-positive people have an obligation to inform sex partners of their status (as a volunteer at APLA, this type of judgmental reasoning would have gotten you thrown out of the volunteer program ASAP), but what's even more warped is that during sentencing the judge ventures to weigh in on how long the sex acts took place. (Pull yourself together, pervert, eh?) (CanadianPress)

Pray & Sashay: Gay Catholics say they will protest the visit of the world's most famous drag queen, Pope Benedict XVI. (GayWired)

Senators Gone Wild: While John McCain tries to backpedal on his rebel rouser image, with his handlers now saying he rarely even drinks, Maureen Dowd reminds us of that famous Hillary-McCain Estonian drink-off in 2004, when Hillary instigated a vodka shot contest and McCain agreed with alacrity (even though he later offered a sketchy denial). McCain may be flip-flopping on his liquor, but now my Hillary. Her campaign doesn't deny that she likes to kick back, at the end of a long day, with a vodka on her plane. (NYT)

Trickle-Down Conservatism: Take one guess how a large, publicly financed database of information on reproductive health at Johns Hopkins University got programmed to ignore the word "abortion" in searches. (NYT)

InDirectTV: I knew there had to be a catch to the return of "Friday Night Lights" (NYT)

Counting the Hits: Two well-known technology bloggers have died suddenly recently, causing some to speculate that their deaths were related to sweatshop-style freelance blogging. My blog has nearly killed me too, in a way. Sometimes Michael wants to strangle me for ignoring him in favor of coming up with the next great post. Blogging is not for the faint at heart. (NYT)

Birth Defect: Maybe this isn't the worst thing that could happen. Usually it takes a few years to realize someone's two-faced. (AFP)