Colin Fails to Get His (Sham)rocks Off

OK. So I happened to see the infamous Colin Farrell sex tape yesterday -- and not unlike all of his other movies, it was a major disappointment.

First of all, the quality of it makes the Tommy Lee-Pam Anderson tape look like "Titanic." Second, it's hard to even really call it a Colin Farrell tape as it's virtually all of the "woman" he's having sex with. (These widely circulated photos were taken during the 15 seconds that the camera is turned on him.) And speaking of her: Is she a tranny -- or just some kind of Hawaiian hooker? It's really not good.

Colin Farrell has spent a lot of time and money trying to keep this tape from being distributed (in vain, obviously). But who would have thought that the reason was because he's embarrassed by how lame it is.

(No Irish curse here, though: click here for an uncensored look at the goods.)