Gloria Steinem, Feminist Icon, Dies at 92

 

These "ends of an era" sure seem to be coming fast and furious(ly) these days.

There has never been a time in my life when this woman's name wasn't synonymous with equality and women's lib -- how many times did Archie Bunker invoke her in a fit of disgust? -- so this loss stings. We were lucky to have her, a true original about whom my former New York Times boss said: "I grew aware of my value as a woman before I was one, because of Gloria Steinem and people like her. She showed us what we could do if we insisted. I'm grateful."

My pal Tim Murphy shared a sweet story about a brief encounter with the Ms. Magazine legend, which I think you will also enjoy as much as I did.

May she rest in power.

He writes:

In 2016, I was a reader at the book festival Sean Strub started in Milford PA when he was mayor there. The festival was centered at the hotel Sean owned at the time, and when I came down to the hotel dining room, there was Sean with a small table of people including Gloria Steinem, then 82, who was a marquee guest at the festival. So I ended up sitting next to her and telling her it was an honor to meet her. Then her friend said, "Gloria, your session starts in 5 minutes." Ms. Steinem said: "I've barely touched my omelette," so I -- who was starving and hadn't ordered food yet -- offered to eat it. She said, "Good -- my mother always said it's wrong to waste food."

That's a fun story but it doesn't convey how remarkable I thought she was. Particularly as a journalist all my life, I admired her especially for her smart, funny (and far more progressive/intersectional than her colleagues') columns for New York magazine in its earliest Nixon-era years. And as someone who has mainly been an HIV/AIDS and LGBTQ advocacy journalist my whole life, I always admired how Ms. did muscular advocacy journalism in such a fun and compelling package. Certainly it paved the way for many such future mags including POZ, which Sean started. 

I hope that, in her final days and hours, Ms. Steinem was suffused with a strong sense of the remarkable, courageous, moral, well-lived life that she lived.

Dolly Parton Dies at 80

Heartbreaking. Even if she hadn't written "I Will Always Love You," "Jolene,” "Two Doors Down," "9 to 5" and on and on and on, she will never be forgotten because she was such an incredible person. xo

Larry King, Tennis Promoter and Billie Jean's Former Husband, Dies at 81

Sad to hear about the death of Larry King, the dreamy All-American boy who helped build women's tennis during his 22-year marriage to Billie Jean King and then stood by her when her lesbian affair was revealed. He was 81 and died following an unspecified illness.

His tennis legend ex, who remained a lifelong friend and was godmother to his children from a second marriage, shared the news on social media, writing: 

Larry was one of the unsung heroes in the establishment of women’s professional tennis in the early 1970s.

Larry and I met at Cal State LA, where Larry opened my eyes to feminism. We were married for 22 years and in business together for decades. He was involved behind the scenes when the Original 9 signed our one dollar contracts, and he and I co-owned several tournaments on the Virginia Slims Tour.

He was integral and did much of the important legal work to establish the Women’s Tennis Association and the historic Battle of the Sexes match in 1973; and the Women’s Sports Foundation and womenSports magazine in 1974. He also was a co-founder of World TeamTennis.

Larry’s intelligence, love, commitment, and humor helped me navigate my career for more than 20 years.

Ilana, my wife and business partner, and I are deeply saddened by Larry’s passing and we extend our deepest condolences to his wife, Nancy, and their children - our godchildren - Sky (his wife Caroline and daughter Athena) and Katie.

 

In the documentary "Give Me the Ball!," which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival but still hasn't made its way to me, Larry revealed that he was unaware of Billie Jean’s relationship with Los Angeles hairdresser Marilyn Barnett until shortly before it became front-page news in 1981, when Barnett sued his wife for palimony and publicly outed her. At the time, Larry says he and Billie Jean had “an open kind of relationship.” 

“I didn’t know that this was going on,” Larry says in the film. “Billie Jean never mentioned it to me until the day before it hit the press.”

Billie Jean, who married him in 1965, says her sexuality wasn’t something she understood at the time. “I didn’t have much experience with sex at all or anything. One girl kissed me in college. That was it,” she explains in the documentary. 

“Everybody thinks I was hanging with girls. I wasn’t at all. We had a great time, fell in love. I thought he was the one.… Larry was different from other guys. He was a feminist.”

Larry, who says in the documentary that he “thought she was the cat’s meow” when he first met Billie Jean, says that while he supported her career, it ultimately took a toll on their relationship. 

“Billie Jean changed women’s tennis. And she wanted to change the world,” he said. “I tried to fit into that plan, but it was more the life that Billie Jean wanted. It wasn’t the life I wanted.”

Billie Jean added: “He wanted us to have children and everything, but I started to realize something isn’t right.”

After an abortion that was made public by Larry -- “I wasn’t gonna tell anybody,” Billie Jean said -- the early '70s were “really bad” for the couple, eventually leading to discussions about divorce. 

“I thought when we got married forever, it was forever,” Larry said. “I considered the divorce stuff to be more nonsense than reality.”

“It wasn’t right for Larry and I to stay married,” Billie Jean added. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I hadn’t figured out who I was, and he shouldn’t have been suffering through that either. I kept pleading with him to divorce me, and he wouldn’t do it. It was all about me; it wasn’t about him. I was the one having challenges. I was so confused.”

Despite having an open relationship by the time Billie Jean began her secret romance with Barnett, Larry said he didn’t view the hairdresser as a serious threat. 

“I didn’t really look at Marilyn Barnett as a real threat,” he said. “It would have bothered me a lot more if she had male friends, but it didn’t bother me that she had female friends because I didn’t really look like I was competing with them.”

Larry stood by Billie Jean’s side during the infamous press conference where she admitted to the affair -- which was the moment I first figured out what I "was," listening in horror/amazement with my parents in the room -- and remained close after their divorce in 1987. (Larry has been married to Nancy King since 1990.) 

Billie Jean -- who somehow managed to retreat deeper into the closet after being publicly outed and did not formally come out until a 1998 interview with The Advocate, later marrying former tennis player Ilana Kloss in 2018 -- says everyone involved eventually found happiness.

“Larry and I, we’re still friends,” she said. “[He and Nancy] have two children. We’re the godmothers. Ilana and I are so happy now.”

Marilyn Barnett, however, died by suicide on May 5, 1997, at the age of 49, having previously become paraplegic in October 1980 after "falling" 30 feet from the balcony of the Kings' Malibu beach house, which local fire department logs from the time noted as a "possible suicide attempt."

Now disabled and unable to work to support herself, Barnett filed her high-profile palimony lawsuit six months after the incident. Barnett’s legal move failed, resulting in no payout, no property rights and an immediate eviction order. The court rejected claims to the Malibu home, with the judge criticizing Barnett for attempting to extort money threatening to reveal private love letters. Billie Jean later agreed to a separate $125,000 settlement.

Here's hoping Larry is hitting on a multi-colored court in the sky!

January 30, 1945 - May 29, 2026

In Loving Memory of Saul Zabar

 

Proud to live in a neighborhood that would remember a guy like this.

Did Blogger 'Large Tony' Really Die in 2023?

Hmm, do I smell catfish on the grill? 

Was initially stunned yesterday to discover that the well-endowed Tennessee mountain man who heated up the internet back in the day -- aptly named Large Tony -- had supposedly died in 2023, just two months shy of his 48th birthday. 

Although I know I'm just one of many people who has a long history with whoever was behind this persona that was simultaneously revealing (those photos!) and anonymous, I'm kind of reeling from this news, however belated. 

Yesterday he popped into my head, so I shot him an email, like we would do from time to time, only for it to bounce back. I then sent him this DM (on the erstwhile Twitter) -- and I pray that I'm onto something.

I wrote:

You just popped into my head so I sent you an email -- only for it to bounce back. From there I checked on here and saw a notice saying you had died in 2023. How I hope this is not true, just a way for you to retire the Large Tony persona. But whatever the case may be, thank you for your kindness over the years. You’ve been a welcome online presence since the early days of blogging, and I hope you are at peace wherever you are today.

But then I started to see the whole "Large Tony" persona through 2026 eyes:

Did no one in the state of Tennessee ever recognize him and reveal his identity -- even now? How did this busy young man manage to find time to have a "special" online relationship with virtually every person I've ever encountered? (I now see that BosGuy wrote about it contemporaneously and that even Andy Cohen was sniffing around at the time too, apparently mentioning the death on his radio show.) And who posted that succinct update about his untimely death for his “fans”? Unless "The Attorney" (as he referred to his supposed long-term partner) somehow had full access to his accounts, which seems unlikely given that I don't think my own husband could get into mine, I'm having a hard time buying it.

Suddenly the whole thing is starting to give me a JT LeRoy vibe. (The slick black-and-white photo with the birth and death dates seems off, too.) I suspect I'm onto something here ... or perhaps thinking this way is just easier than accepting that his death could be true.

UPDATE: Apparently I wasn't the only one who had this hunch. Blobby even hits on a couple things I was thinking but didn't mention and knows about some aborted blogger "meet-ups" involving Tony, which I'm sure involved "cancer" or a "car crash"! Another person said he has a story for me, which I'm still waiting to hear. 

Gabe Lopez, Gay Pop Visionary and 'Drag Race' Musical Force, Dies at 49

Was sorry to read about the death of Gabe Lopez, a singer, songwriter and producer whom I knew of through his work with Belinda Carlisle. He was 49. In an Instagram post, his family said the cause was "a brief but intense battle with lymphoma."

Based in Los Angeles, Lopez built a career that bridged artist and behind-the-scenes hitmaker. He became widely known for his work as a music producer on the Rusicals for "RuPaul’s Drag Race," a role he expanded in 2019 to include RuPaul’s Drag Race Live in Las Vegas, which opened at The Flamingo in January 2020. He also produced music for television series including "The Other Two" and "Gayme Show."

Lopez was a trusted collaborator for both legacy pop acts and contemporary artists. His credits included work with the aforementioned Carlisle, the Go-Go’s and New Kids on the Block, for whom he co-wrote and produced multiple tracks across several albums. He also produced and co-wrote all of the songs on Carlisle’s album "Wilder Shores," released in 2017.

Carlisle paid tribute in an emotional statement, calling Lopez “my beautiful friend, creative collaborator and producer of my last two albums, and an incredible artist in his own right.” She wrote that she was “devastated and heartbroken,” adding, “I can’t remember being in so much pain.” Carlisle remembered their 12 years of working together as filled with joy and creativity, saying she could not imagine her life without him. “Godspeed, Gabe -- you were always an angel, now it’s time to soar,” she wrote, adding, “I love you and will always hold you dear to me. May his music live forever.”

Gabe Lopez (far left) with Belinda Carlisle & Co. at the launch of her "Wilder Shores" album in London back in 2017

In addition, Lopez produced the vocals on “Club Zero” by the Go-Go’s for their 2020 documentary, which premiered at Sundance, further cementing his reputation as a go-to creative partner for artists navigating both nostalgia and reinvention.

As a solo artist, Lopez released a string of warmly received albums that blended classic pop hooks with candid storytelling. His debut, "This Is About You" (2006), earned strong reviews and saw all 17 tracks licensed for film and television. It was followed by "Shine Like the Sun" (2011), which included the anti–Prop. 8 anthem “No Hate,” embraced by the NOH8 Campaign.

Later releases included "California Blues" (2015), featuring backing vocals from Belinda Carlisle; "Lasso" (2017), released alongside a UK tour with Carlisle; and "God Bless the Queens" (2018), a celebratory, defiant album that debuted on the iTunes charts and underscored Lopez’s pride in his identity and community.

Friends and collaborators are remembering Lopez on my social-media feeds as endlessly generous with his time and talent -- a true pro who welcomed ideas, worked through the night when needed, and lifted every project he touched. He is survived by his family and a wide circle of friends and collaborators. 

The Way He Was: Robert Redford Dies at 89

 

I think everyone of a certain age is reeling from the news that Robert Redford died this morning. As my sister-in-law said, it's weird to be "shocked" that an 89-year-old is no longer with us, but I guess it's hard to accept when someone who has been around your entire life -- and your mother's -- is gone. 

I have a little story about the Hollywood legend I was going to share, but since it happened to several of us at an old job and my friend/former colleague Jesse beat me to the punch, and rather nicely, I will let him do the heavy lifting. I don't really have anything new to add -- I'm the Pervez Musharraf connection in the tale! -- so here you go: 

When I was working at the New York Times, one afternoon word spread in excited whispers and interdepartmental phone calls that ROBERT REDFORD WAS IN THE BUILDING. Having famous people in the New York Times building was not unusual, although they tended more toward political figures than movie stars. One of my coworkers once got on an elevator to find himself sharing it with Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf and his security detail. I once nearly bumped into then-gubernatorial-candidate Eliot Spitzer while making a coffee run to the main newsroom. As ostensibly jaded New Yorkers, we were all officially blasé about celebrities. But this was different. ROBERT REDFORD was different. What we heard was that he was in for an interview with Frank Rich, and the two of them were at that moment up in the cafeteria having coffee. The NYT cafeteria (this was in the old building, on 43rd Street) was generally a quiet place in the afternoon, which is probably why Rich figured it would be safe to take his guest there. Funnily enough, though, a whole lot of people from throughout the building suddenly realized they needed a snack. By the time I got up there, there was already a long line at the food counter. And as promised, over against the windows, chatting quietly at a table, were Frank Rich and Robert Redford. Like everyone in line, I allowed myself only quick glances, no gawking. And of course nobody approached the table. We were professionals. How did he look? He would have been close to 70 at this point. His hair was a sandy mixture of gray and reddish-brown (who knows or cares how much was "natural"). He was wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt, leaning back easily in his chair. He looked like Robert Redford. He looked amazing.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RIP, Bob. There'll never be a more beautiful man -- or a more perfect picture than the one he so richly deserved winning an Oscar for directing.

Send me your favorite HERE.

Dave Edmunds, Pub Rock and New Wave Favorite, Suffers 'Major Cardiac Arrest'

I misread this last night and thought Dave Edmunds had died -- I'll forgive his frazzled wife for the confusingly long post -- but I have to quickly say that the world may be about to lose an incredible talent. Dave Edmunds did it all -- if he’d only worked with Carlene Carter he would be a legend in my mind, but he also had Rockpile, Nick Lowe and a brilliant solo career under his belt. What a legend. Here's hoping for a miracle. 

UPDATE: This sounds very encouraging!

Writer Edmund White Dies at 85

Doing an emergency blog post on my phone to report that Brad Gooch just shared the news that the writer Edmund White has died. 

Brad writes: 

Dear Ed White (1940-2025) longtime friend and hilarious, perennial lunch buddy. You were like no one else in my life or in all of our literatures. Another world has cratered. #edmundwhite

Much more will be said and written about this influential and prolific wordsmith -- whose debut novel, "Forgetting Elsa," came out in 1973 and whose most recent work, "The Loves of My Life: A Sex Memoir," came out earlier this year. But for now I’ll just say: Rest in peace, you dirty old man. You will be remembered.

UPDATE: The appreciations are pouring in BELOW.

Singer-Songwriter Jill Sobule Dies in House Fire at 66

Heartbroken over the tragic death of Jill Sobule, who is responsible for the best tweet of all time. 

The earliest report didn't even know who the victim was.

Although the singer-songwriter is best known for her hits "I Kissed a Girl" and "Supermodel," my fondest memories are from her time with Lloyd Cole and the Negatives -- which led to this adorable tribute from Lloyd, Jane Wiedlin and Charlotte Caffey. RIP. 🙏

Song of the Day: 'It's All Over Now, Baby Blue' by Marianne Faithfull

It's kind of hard to take credit for "killing" famous people who are elderly. But for what feels like the millionth time, a random celebrity whom I just happened to mention -- in this case Marianne Faithfull, last night at 8:57 p.m., when I came across her cover of a song Damian loves and texted him a screenshot of it playing on my laptop -- is suddenly no longer with us.

 

See also: When I made Helen Reddy's "Imagination" my song of the day on Sept. 29, 2020, only for her to croak later that day. (When I pull myself together I will try to put together a list, but believe me there are a lot -- such as Katherine Helmond dying the day after we finished watching the entire run of "Soap," Jessica Walter dying after we watched "Play Misty for Me" and Teri Garr popping up on "Dream On" immediately before she died.) 

Worth noting that Damian and I have never once mentioned Marianne's name. (Based on the reactions of the younger people in the newsroom today when the news broke, I'm not 100% sure Damian even knows who she is.) But for whatever reason, these worlds collided less than 24 hours ago and now she's gone. 

Rest in peace, Marianne. How you lived to be 78 is anyone's guess! xo

P.S. From Dan Callahan of Stolen Holiday fame:

RIP: Marianne Faithfull. 

Here is a reminder that Faithfull once starred in a movie called "Irina Palm" (2007), which is about a 60-year-old widow who needs to make money to fund an operation for her grandson and finds herself becoming a kind of star attraction of a glory hole: "They say I have the best right hand in London!" croaks Faithfull at one point. She eventually decorates her side of the glory hole like an office, with photos, etc. 

Yes, this movie actually exists. I feel now like I must be making it up, but I did see it, I swear.

This I gotta see!

Kind words from former paramour Mick Jagger. 

My friend Taffy isn't kidding. If you haven't heard "Broken English," do yourself a favor and listen to it now. xo

David Lynch, Director of ‘Twin Peaks’ and ‘Blue Velvet,’ Dies at 78

 

We said goodbye to David Lynch today, who was 78 and in poor health with emphysema. 

Something tells me I wouldn't remember what the first film I ever saw by myself was if it hadn't turned out to be "Blue Velvet" -- it was showing at the Memorial Union's dollar movie night at Arizona State University and no one wanted to go with me -- which was quite a way to experience an already uncomfortable-for-me moment of solitude. (My love affair with Isabella Rossellini began that night and continues to this day.) 

Although I never became the hardcore fan that so many others I know did -- I still haven't sat through all of "Twin Peaks" and think "Mulholland Drive" was the dumbest thing I've ever seen, no matter what you people try to tell me -- I loved knowing that he was around, doing his David Lynch thing. RIP.

Not surprised to see that Debbie Harry and Chris Stein also appreciated him. 

“David was in tune with the universe and his own imagination on a level that seemed to be the best version of human,” Kyle MacLachlan said. “He was not interested in answers because he understood that questions are the drive that make us who we are. I will miss him more than the limits of my language can tell." Read MacLachlan's full statement HERE.

Read Naomi Watts had to say HERE.

Robert X. Planet, Killer Pussy Keyboardist and Former New Times Writer, Dead at 74

Some sad news for my fellow Phoenicians and/or followers of obscure new wave bands.

Singer Lucy LaMode of Killer Pussy fame just posted on Facebook that Robert X. Planet (né Severance), her friend and onetime bandmate who was also a noted Phoenix New Times writer, has died. He was 74 and no cause of death was provided. 

The two met when LaMode was just a teenager -- and began writing songs together after bonding over their shared love of Edith Massey.

Lucy writes:

I'm writing this with the brokenness of hearts. Actually if I'm honest with myself it’s shattered to pieces. My best friend for a lifetime (forty-six years) passed away unexpectedly in his sleep yesterday. Robert X Planet (Severance) [was the] Killer Pussy keyboard player and composer of "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage" along with many other KP songs. 

Robert was one of the most talented humans. He was unconventional a free spirit and creative like a mad scientist. If you were lucky enough to be in his orbit, it was a guarantee of laughter and shenanigans always at the most inappropriate times. I have so many wonderful memories that I will hold so tightly that any moment I might burst into laughter or burst into crying. 

R.I.P My beloved beautiful friend.

Merch man

My brother Bill purchased the legendary EP at Roads to Moscow in 1982!

Although Killer Pussy never grew larger than cult favorites, I can remember how proud I was to have "my" local new wave band make inroads, seeing the poster for their notorious "Teenage Nurses in Bondage" on the wall of the radio station at Weemawee High School where Marshall Blechtman and Johnny "Slash" Ulasewicz spun records on TV's "Square Pegs" -- alongside posters of Kim Wilde, the Human League, Oingo Boingo, Soft Cell and Laurie Anderson -- and being name-checked in Bret Easton Ellis's "Less Than Zero." (Dennis Hopper even did a painting of Lucy!) 

The "Square" censors made sure the word "pussy" was never seen in its entirety.

Dial-a-teen (or two)

"Does Jesus believe in hamburgers"?

Killer Pussy then made an appearance on USA Network's "New Wave Theatre" -- performing "Pocket Pool" -- as their music started to gain traction on Phoenix's version of "Rodney on the KROQ" -- KSTM/The Storm -- and on KROQ itself. 

In 1983 a full-length album, "Bikini Wax," was released featuring "Dildo Desire," "Herpes," "Pepperoni Ice Cream" and the single "Moist Towelette," which was a hilarious parody of Grace Jones's "Warm Leatherette," itself a Normal cover. 

On a more solemn note, I can also remember getting queasy reading in the New Times -- Phoenix's answer to the Village Voice -- that drummer John E. Precious died in the 1980s of "hepatitis," which made me think of Ricky Wilson's untimely departure. (My HIV theory was bolstered when I later learned that Precious was a heroin addict.)  

Over the years I have heard Killer Pussy described as being a satirical or parody of a punk band -- and perhaps that's what they were going for. (Indeed Lucy -- who despite the lewd song lyrics was a virgin during the height of the band's popularity who didn't drink or do drugs -- was credited on the EP with lead vocals and "lingerie" while other band members were credited with playing their instruments as well as "quips," "bench press" and "macho ambiance.") 

But to this 14-year-old suburbanite with New York City dreams, they struck me more as the B-52's of the Southwest -- with a splash of Blondie’s debut -- who were somehow cool enough to be embraced by the in-crowd on the coasts, which gave my new-wave-geek self a glimmer of hope even if my own attempt at a band wasn't likely to follow suit.

Rest in peace, Robert. And thanks for the smiles. xo

Here's his bio from the band's website: 

Robert was born in Alliance, Ohio, but has lived in Arizona since the age of two. He was inspired to play the accordion at the age of seven after watching "The Lawrence Welk Show."

Robert composed the music for “Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage” for Killer Pussy in 1981 and joined the band soon after. His other contributions include that song’s lyrics (with Lucy, and Rick Hendel); music and lyrics for “Bikini Wax” and “Moist Towelette”; and the third verse of lyrics for the Gary Russell song “Pocket Pool.”

Best known locally as the former drama critic and Thrills editor emeritus at Phoenix New Times, he has always been very active in community theatre, and is an award-winning set and costume designer, actor and director.

Currently, Robert serves on the boards of directors of iTheatre Collaborative, and of Alwun House Foundation. In 2012, he spearheaded the Alwun House Centennial Renovation Project, which undertook the refurbishment of that historic arts organization’s then 100-year-old territorial-style structure.

As founding director of the reader’s theatre ensemble Planet Poe, Robert has been adapting and performing the works of Edgar Allan Poe in various public venues since 2000.

He presently lives in Scottsdale, and works with Lucy to preserve and promote Killer Pussy’s music for the ages. . 

Robert says the band took its name from a cat belonging to local punk diva Les a Go Go -- of the Phoenix band called The Roll-Ons -- but admits that "no one" believed them.

To learn more about Killer Pussy, click HERE.

How you like to see your childhood heroes turn out