Call me judgmental all you want, but whether it's Michael Douglas or Madonna doing it -- or your friend's dad with the nubile nanny -- I find these multi-decades-apart May-December relationships to be kinda sad. Rather than thinking "Good for you!" or "I wish I could do pull this off," I just see people who do this as kind of pathetic, using a youthful partner to distract them from where they really are in life, never acknowledging how foolish they look. (If you say they don't care what I think, then I'm sure they don't mind me writing this.) So when I read my occasional hero Bryan Ferry, 66, had married 29-year-old Amanda Sheppard last week, I was embarrassed for the Roxy Music legend. And one can only imagine what son Issac thinks of Dad marrying his ex-girlfriend. (Just try to guess which one is Isaac in the photo above!)
7 comments:
I don't get why it's embarrassing. Is it embarrassing for a not-so-hot person who's marrying a hot person, fat with thin, or is it strictly a function of age? If anything, it's a function of power/wealth, which are sometimes legitimately attractive and other times are just used to purchase the closeness. Say what you will about Madonna, but she's a hot piece for 53. In her case, I imagine it's not only that she's still attractive and is powerful and wealthy, but also just her fame is so intoxicating. Calvin Klein's lovematch seems more like a purchase. Bryan is marrying his girlfriend and he looks amazing, more like 50. I dunno, it's definitely not something that saddens me. If I were single and a 20-year-old was after me, he wouldn't have to try too hard if I liked him, and embarrassed is the last thing I'd be if we went out.
No, I find all of your examples to be equally embarrassing. I'm just mentioning the age thing because that's what this story is about. Whenever it's blatantly obvious that someone would not give someone the time of day if not for some extraordinary situation (wealth, fame, power, influence), I find it sad. While we'd like to believe that people are more complex than what we know from their bio/picture, most aren't.
And don't worry, you wouldn't need to be embarrassed if a 20-year-old went after a single you -- I'd be embarrassed for you!
Kenneth you crack me up!
So it's embarrassing because I'm 56 and I'm getting it from a hot 20 year old guy? I think it's hot, not embarrassing!
Yep, I call you judgmental.
But as long as you don't start writing things like "Marriage is a union between 2 people of approximately the same age, and these folks are trying to change the definition", I'll let it pass.
Had no idea you were a Bryan Ferry fan! Years ago, we were having dinner at the Majestic Cafe down on Woodward, and we spotted Ferry ducking into Union Street('s) across the way... He was in town for a concert, I think. Anyways! My friend Bonnie dashed out to his limo and asked for an autograph. He happily obliged :-)
PS -- I think the May/December thing is pathetic as well. Say what you will... Though give me a Hot Daddy any day!
I think you're reacting to unequal power relationships. Professor-graduate student, boss-secretary liaisons are problematic, even if some lead to long-term coupledom. Age is just one of the differences that same-sex couples use to make things interesting, like national or cultural differences. (Often when we see two guys of obviously different backgrounds together, our gaydar goes off.)
People often assume that my husband and I are father and son; I'm 80 and he's a gorgeous 53. We've been together 29 years, and it's because he likes it that way, not that I have any fortune or fame to offer. We couldn't have got together any sooner -- he was just gelling as a person (he says) and I was just leaving a conventional marriage. We're a bit of an odd couple socially but at home, we're just us.
No, it's not attractive for rich people to buy anything they want, Picassos or lovers, but you can't know a relationship from the appearance. Old and young couples may find that they complement each other beautifully.
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