Just State the Truth

50 Americans Summarize Their Home State In One Perfectly Sarcastic Sentence 

 Some of these are really great, like Indiana's! See 'em all HERE.

Chart Flashback: July 18, 1974

    The early days of Olivia Newton-John's ascension to world domination.

Double Fault

6 Top Women’s Tennis Players of All Time

I love Chris Evert more than most people -- incuding her parents -- but ranking her above Martina Navratilova and Serena Williams on an all-time best list? Come on! Totally cool with Steffi Graf on top, though. Read HERE.

Chart Flashback: May 24, 1984

  "The Reflex" was the first Duran Duran song I felt like they had just mailed in -- and who'd have thought "Oh Sherrie" would still be played nonstop (on adult/contemporary stations) 30 years later?!

UPDATE: And speak of the devil, Steve Perry came out of seclusion over the weekend and performed!

Summer Beach Reads 2014

In recognition of the fact that not everyone only reads nonfiction, here are a half-dozen new fiction titles -- including two by friends -- that might be just the companion you're looking for as we head off to the beach this summer! 

"Looking for Providence" (aka "Boston Boys Club" Vol. 5) by Johnny Diaz

Ronnie thought he had everything he wanted - a guy he adored and a job he loved. Then the economy tanked and the 25-year-old not only lost his movie critic boyfriend but a dream job as a newspaper features writer. Now single in his newly adopted city of Providence, Ronnie learns to start over as a Business reporter in Rhode Island's capital city. And his life is about to take a dramatic turn during a reporting assignment when he meets Phil, a startlingly handsome local business executive. Phil takes Ronnie under his wing and shows him around his native Providence and just maybe, the way to his heart. But is Ronnie ready to embrace a new love? He receives some long-distance guidance from his Miami wingman Elias who is reeling from the loss of his TV production job. Broke, unemployed and ready for a change, Elias reluctantly moves back home to his mother's estate when he discovers a volunteer opportunity in Europe that he just can't say no to. During the course of one unpredictable summer, Ronnie and Elias are there for each other as they embark on new adventures that will forever change their lives.

Order HERE.

"Roosevelt's Beast" by Louis Bayard

A reimagining of Teddy and Kermit Roosevelt’s ill-fated 1914 Amazon expedition—a psychological twist on the smart historical thriller that first put Louis Bayard on the map 1914. Brazil’s Rio da Dúvida, the River of Doubt. Plagued by hunger and suffering the lingering effects of malaria, Theodore Roosevelt, his son Kermit, and the other members of the now-ravaged Roosevelt-Rondon scientific expedition are traveling deeper and deeper into the jungle. When Kermit and Teddy are kidnapped by a never-before-seen Amazonian tribe, the great hunters are asked one thing in exchange for their freedom: find and kill a beast that leaves no tracks and that no member of the tribe has ever seen. But what are the origins of this beast, and how do they escape its brutal wrath? Roosevelt's Beast is a story of the impossible things that become possible when civilization is miles away, when the mind plays tricks on itself, and when old family secrets refuse to stay buried. With his characteristically rich storytelling and a touch of old-fashioned horror, the bestselling and critically acclaimed Louis Bayard turns the story of the well-known Roosevelt-Rondon expedition on its head and dares to ask: Are the beasts among us more frightening than the beasts within?

Order HERE.

"Sally Field Can Play the Transsexual; Or I Was Cursed by Polly Holliday" by Leslie L. Smith

In this tale of bruising humor, heartbreaking loss and inspiring insight, David Mathews is a gay male escort with a penchant for keeping responsibility and emotion at arm's length. When his closest friend and mentor Robert dies from AIDS, David struggles with the mourning process, a situation complicated by the fact that Robert has left him a small fortune. Reeling from the loss, and puzzled by his new inheritance, David must make the journey from New York City back home to Arkansas, to visit his dying mother. Suddenly, Robert's ghost is riding shotgun on the trip, intent on challenging David's narrow worldview on life, love, intimacy and safe sex. Along the way, David meets a gallery of fascinating people, including a philosophy-spouting waitress, a young artist promoting AIDS education and a transsexual nurse. All play a role in propelling David into emotional adulthood. An honest and unyielding examination of the challenges of gay male life in America today, Sally Field Can Play the Transsexual offers laughs, tears and universal life lessons for anyone searching for a past, present and future.

 Order HERE.

"Afterworld" by Lois Walden

Meet four generations of the Duvalier family, for whom sugar cane is both their blessing and their curse. From patriarch Carter, the victim of an exploding manhole cover before our story begins, and his indomitable holy-roller wife Lily, to their dysfunctional sons Winston and Steven, and their equally screwed-up grandchildren, the Duvaliers - both dead and alive - would do anything to keep their secrets hidden. With their world blown apart by the winds of Katrina, the tangled lives of these unforgettable characters create a novel of unimaginable beauty, dark humor, and terrible tragedy.

Order HERE.

"The Home for Wayward Ladies" by Jeremy Scott Blaustein

Described as “Sex and the City” meets HBO’s “Looking”, THE HOME FOR WAYWARD LADIES is a comedic (some are saying, “laugh-out-loud”) novel that follows three young men on their promising (and promiscuous) path to making their Broadway dreams come true:

Fresh out of Mackinaw Conservatory’s School of Theater, Eli, Hunter, and Nick have relocated to Manhattan’s Upper-Upper West Side bound by an oath that friendship shall conquer all. Amid bitchy brunches and failed one-night stands, these friends- as promising as they are promiscuous are on a quest to have their voices heard over the roar of city. When they get a chance to work in summer stock, this “family” is forced to find out the hard way what it takes to become the ultimate anything: a somebody.

Details HERE.

"Flower of Iowa" by Lance Ringel

The sprawling historical novel Flower of Iowa takes place against the turbulent backdrop of World War I. In France during the final months of the war in 1918, young American Tommy Flowers is learning to be a good soldier in the trenches. At the same time, he attracts the attentions of Nicole Lacroix, a young French barmaid who in turn has won the heart of Tommy’s brash Australian sergeant Jamie Colbeck. Even as he tries to cope with this potential romantic triangle, Tommy steadily develops an attraction for his best buddy, British soldier David Pearson. The two young men must navigate this unexpected but irresistible attraction, seeking out ways to stay in touch even as the war reaches a crescendo, drawing them apart. A tale of love and bravery in the midst of tragedy, Flower of Iowa showcases unforgettable characters and exhilarating storytelling.

Order HERE.

Chart Flashback: May 17, 1979

My favorite department of Rolling Stone -- interesting that the No. 1 song that week was by far the weakest.

The Best Albums of 1981

Completely fascinated by Slicing Up Eyeballs' readers poll of the 100 best albums of 1981. While I don't necessarily agree with it, it's weird to see the "masses" voting for things that seemed so personal to me, like Debbie Harry's "Koo Koo," Altered Images' "Happy Birthday," Romeo Void's "It's a Condition," Bow Wow Wow's "See Jungle! See Jungle! Go Join Your Gang, Yeah. City All Over! Go Ape Crazy," and the Tom Tom Club debut. Read HERE.

I'm thinking something more like:

"Beauty and the Beat' by Go-Go's
"Pretenders II" by Pretenders
"It's a Condition" by Romeo Void
'Slow Children" by Slow Children
"See Jungle! See Jungle! Go Join Your Gang, Yeah. City All Over! Go Ape Crazy" by Bow Wow Wow
"Speak and Spell" by Depeche Mode
"The Right to Be Italian" by Holly and the Italians
"Talk Talk Talk" by Psychedelic Furs
"Tom Tom Club" by Tom Tom Club
"Wild Gift" by X
"Torch" by Carly Simon
"Kim Wilde" by Kim Wilde
"Dare" by Human League
"Seven Year Ache" by Rosanne Cash
"Happy Birthday" by Altered Images
"Heaven Up Here" by Echo and the Bunnymen
"Architecture and Morality" by OMD
"Penthouse and Pavement" by Heaven 17
"Koo Koo" by Debbie Harry
"Tin Drum" by Japan
"Movement" by New Order
"East Side Story" by Squeeze
"Almost Blue" by Elvis Costello and the Attractions

"Precious Time" by Pat Benatar

"I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

"Duran Duran" by Duran Duran

"Walk Under Ladders" by Joan Armatrading
"Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret" by Soft Cell
"Trust" by Elvis Costello
"Mistaken Identity" by Kim Carnes

As for 1980, any poll that doesn't have the Pretenders' debut at No. 1 is dead to me. Read HERE.

The 100 Most Eligible Gay Bachelors

Out magazine picks the 100 Most Eligible Bachelors ...

although it's hard to imagine why some of these guys are single.

The 50 Hottest NFL Players of All Time

With Superbowl Sunday upon us, I figured there was no better time to get this cut-throat game going. I'm sure I forgot someone -- I went to bed without including Eric Decker! -- so let me have it in the comments. And please remember: This is only MY opinion. This list isn't being compiled by a consensus of people at Out magazine or even Cosmo. I'm just sharing mine, based on the players I am vaguely aware of. Here we go:

1. Howie Long: This crush runs deep and long. From my days in Los Angeles carrying around a photo of the hunky Raiders defensive end, to his silly Radio Shack commercials with Teri Hatcher to his current assignment in the commentators booth, the man drives me absolutely wild. 

2. Eric Decker: I think I have let my feelings be known about the Broncos wide receiver. I mean, really: Shouldn't there be a law against this? We can only take so much.

3. Adam Vinatieri: Rarely do you learn much about a kicker (he plays for the Colts, formerly Patriots), but the second I saw his handsome mug, he became a top priority on my blog ... then I found out about the body.

4. Mike Alstott: If someone asked me to illustrate what sex looks like, I would refer them to photos of this former Tampa fullback. I mean honestly.

5. Heath Shuler: The whole Heath vs. Gus drama played out the entire time I was living in Washington. And while I never cared who was the starting quarterback, I was happy watching either on the field. It turned out Heath sucked even more than Gus, so he retired. Many years later, I thought it was cool when Heath surfaced and became a Democratic congressman, until I realized he was one of those bullshit Blue Dogs, which as far as I'm concerned is the same thing as a Republican.

6. Brady Quinn: He was a big fish in an Irish pond, and now he's not. But we'll always have the memory of these photos.

7. Danny Amendola: This Rams wide-out has one hot body.

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8. David Carr: This QB has spent most of his career warming up benches (he does it for Eli Manning these days), but he never fails to get me hot and bothered. So you can imagine my delight when I ran into him at LAX!

9. Craig James: There are surprisingly few photos of the sexy running back from Texas. Luckily, he got better with age, and even though he's become a bit of an overprotective father as well as a Republican political candidate, he was as nice as he could be when I accosted his shirtlesss ass in Los Angeles a few years ago and asked for a photo. (FYI: Craig is Michael's Number 1!)

10. Tom Brady: What's most annoying about the Patriots QB is not only does he look like a quarterback from Central Casting, marry the world's most beautiful woman, and have the most beautiful children. He's also arguably the best to ever play the position.

11. Joey Harrington: Greatness wasn't in the cards for this former Lions QB. But he sure was nice to look at.

12. Kyle Boller: The former QB for the Ravens, Rams and Raiders may be living an embarrassing cliche -- he married that heinous Miss California named Carrie Prejean,who tried to spin her negative response to the Prop 8 question into a career -- but this cliche includes being the hunk quarterback every gay guy lusts after.

  

13. Steve Young: The Hall of Fame quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers is arguably less attractive than he was in his prime. But something about him in a suit and tie nowadays gets me more revved up than he ever did before.

14. Jesse Palmer: The former "Bachelor" has got all of the "football player from Central Casting" features that Tom Brady has, only he can't play. Who cares?

15.  Pat Tillman: The former Arizona State linebacker and Cardinals safety was as handsome and All-American as you can get. RIP.

16. Colt Brennan: The college standout's pro career went over like a sexual assault allegation. But we'll always have the memory of him looking ever so Bruce Weber perfect on the field ...

17/ Mark Sanchez: Make what you will of the fact that I initially forgot to put the Jets QB on the list. (There's always modeling, Mark.)

18. David Akers: Look for the former Eagles place kicker Sunday (he plays for the 49ers now). You know your competition is tough when you look like this and you're not the highest-ranked kicker on the list!

19.. Neil Lomax: In 1988, Phoenix got its first pro football team -- the Arizona Cardinals, as they were known then -- and the PR blitz was on. Above the copier in the newsroom where I was working was a huge poster of QB Neil Lomax, which made even the worst paper jam tolerable ...

20. Gus Frerotte: When all was said and done, this QB ended up playing for the Washington Redskins, Detroit Lions, Denver Broncos, Cincinnati Bengals, Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, and St. Louis Rams. But when I was living in D.C., his battle with Heath Shuler for the starting position was the sports equivalent of "Melrose Place."

  

21. Doug Flutie: For a little guy, he had a long career -- and even got a cereal named after himself. And the handsome do-gooder is still lookin' good at 50.

22. Jake Plummer: The former Arizona State and Denver Broncos QB was the object of my affection for many years early in my blog, for reasons that should be readily apparent.

23. Jeremy Bloom: The Olympic skier turned professional football player's second career didn't exactly amount to much. But the guy is a true Renaissance Man, whose third act in philanthropy may be his biggest success yet.

24. Clint Didier was a tight end for the Washington Redskins in the '80s. But it's his rugged "North Dallas Forty" looks that allow me to overlook the fact that he became a Tea Party Senate candidate in the 2010 midterms.

25. Brett Favre: Admittedly, he did become a major pain in the ass by unretiring more often than Cher. And his Croc-shot was disappointing, to say the least. But there's no denying he was stud in his Green Bay heyday -- "There's Something About Mary" says it all -- and even matured into a sexy bear.

See the next 25 players HERE.