Fat Guy Seeks Men Who Fantasize About Pregnant Dudes

I used to post various Men Seeking Men ads from Craigslist -- this ROOMMATE AD written by a straight guy looking to live with a gay guy who he'd let give him head is one of my biggest posts ever -- before my Daily Grindr picked up the slack. But after seeing this new "Mpreg" posting by a 24-year-old, I wish it had stayed that way. Joan "Rabbit Test" Rivers must be laughing from below!

2 Tickets to Joan Rivers' Funeral Available Now on Craigslist for 10 Grand

  And you thought you couldn't get into Fashion Week's most star-studded event. Buy HERE.

Wanted: Naked Roommate

This is almost as good as the Straight Guy Looking for Gay Roommate Craigslist ad I posted a few months ago!

Don't Ask, Do Reply

  Those Craigslist personals rarely disappoint, and this time around it looks like some U.S. soldiers are using the online classifieds site to solicit sexual encounters in Afghanistan. While it's technically not illegal for military men to do this, the ads have launched as many investigations as this one will fantasies ...

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Drunk Naked Girl on my lawn last night - m4w - 28 (Elma)

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Talk about your missed connections.

Flash for Fantasy

Was tickled when Dan Savage picked up my questionably straight Craigslist ad from yesterday. In HIS POST, he pointed out that as "entitled" as many readers thought the straight guy sounded, Dan's experience writing Savage Love has taught him there are A LOT of gay guys who would love to be in an arrangement like that. (No surprise to me, either. We grow up repressed and without actual potential love interests and sex partners, so of course we fetishize straight guys and fantasize about ways to have sex with them.) 

And then the e-mails TO ME started rolling in. It seems some gay guys are so eager for some straight c**k that they couldn't even read straight, so they wrote to me as if I'm(!) the one who was running the ad. While I can understand a little confusion on the World Wide Web, the only way they could have gotten to my e-mail address would be through my blog, and we all know it's about as straight as the guy in that Craigslist ad. (Oh, wait: That almost actually makes sense.) While Bobby tries to lesson "me" in the ways of the gays -- apparently they're not all good cooks -- he does make up for his lack of culinary skills in other ways.

Bobby writes: 

sorry that it is so late or early depending on how you look at it I was on tumblr and someone posted one of your blogs and well then I got on and added you then read the comment some of the comments were just harsh those are minor things that you want. im not into the whole punctuation thing sorry about that but... being your roommate would be very nice but not all gays are good at what your asking for lol I know for a fact plus I don't live anywhere near you and on top of that all I want to do is come over and suck your dick occasionally and if you want to fuck me on those occasions then I leave I mean is it really that bad that that is all I want. anyway I have said for the most part what I needed to say. ~Bobby

I should note that Bobby used his regular e-mail address, which made finding him on Facebook easier than getting a gay guy to blow you. (BTW: He is very young and English does not appear to be his first language.) There were others, too. My response:

No c**k till the laundry's folded and dinner's on the table. 

UPDATE: He just responded:

lol see that's fine I wouldn't mind cooking and cleaning after you. well I don't work out ps I only weigh 126 lbs. 5'8" so no im not a fatty I would die if I was. but im okay with going with the gym with you though.

Str8 Talk Express

This one sounds like a real "catch":

St8 looking for gay roommate - 28 (Midtown East)

Straight guy here, 28 professional, athletic, masculine. Why I want a gay roommate, cause it works out to be a good arrangement for if we're both cool about it.

Things I like about having a gay roommate
1. you don't mind cleaning the place and picking up after us both. including our laundry
2. usually your pretty good cooks and don't mind cooking for straight guys
3. pretty good decorators and make the place look good

Things I can give you
1. Being around a hot straight guy that walks around a lot in his boxer briefs ;-)
2. Long as you can keep it discreet and not get all possessive, my dick to suck a few times a week. get really horny when been out drinking on weekends.
3. Let you massage me after work outs

The way it goes
1. Split rent 60/40. I'll pay more cause I have the bigger bedroom
2. Your masc guy, that keeps the details of this a secret
3. Your also cool to chill with, grab a beer, watch a game, play some 360 or whatever
4. Lots of beer, but no drugs except 420 but not looking for a pothead
5. You smoke, its outside
6. I am cool if you bring dudes back here, you're cool if I bring chick back. But can promise you, your the only dude getting my loads.
7. If your into working out, work-out partner 

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 3953730640

Posted: 2013-07-23, 7:25AM EDT

email to a friend

UPDATE: Because the ad's been removed but I know "you faggots" wanna see it, the uncensored photo is now HERE.

UPDATE 2: People are responding to the ad as if *I* wrote it. Read HERE.

I HEART Craigslist

to the perv from nj in a bmw

---

Date: 2006-09-27, 6:53PM EDT


you: jerking off your limp dick in your car next to me
me: ready with my camera phone on my bike
go back to jersey



(Craigslist)