There's a Sucker Punched Every Minute

I feel bad for this guy but I can't imagine a jury would convict the attacker whose heart was clearly in the right place:

Crime Watch Daily reports:

A 26-year-old man was punched in the face for looking like celebrity actor Shia LaBeouf. Police said the incident happened on the stairwell of Delancey Avenue Station around 8:30 p.m. Saturday. Mario Licato was on his way to meet friends at Pianos bar nearby, but a man in his 20s stopped him and threw a punch, police said. The man allegedly said ” this is because you look like Shia LaBeouf” before running away, according to the NYPD.

Shia LaBoeuf and the Jordan Almond Defense

Move over, Twinkies: there's a new legal defense in town. I'm on Team Shia, thanks to this source from inside Studio 54:

Shia LaBoeuf was slapping the shit out of people at Cabaret not because he's pulling a Charlie Sheen, but because they were crunching on Jordan almonds during the performance. True story -- my friend Steve from TX is visiting NYC and was in the audience when it happened. #misophonia

I write about my battle with misophonia in my book and have this to say about Shia's behavior: If the Jordan almonds allegation is true, I think he showed great restraint!

Bottom line: Stop crunching in public and no one will get hurt.

Shia LaBeouf:: My Penis Pic Did the Trick

Shia LaBeouf says he was asked to send in a picture of his private benjamin as part of the casting process for the film ‘Nymphomaniac.’ Although he claims he acquiesced in an attempt to prove to director Lars von Trier that he was fearless enough for the explicit sexual drama,, I can't help but wonder if he plagiarized a c**k shot off the Internet. (He also told Chelsea Handler he sent videos of him having sex with his girlfriend -- anyone come across that?!) Read HERE.

Shia LaBoot

 Dude's sweating my look!