Musical Hunks

As word leaked out that the Jets will dump God's quarterback, Tim Tebow, we also got news that the Mets are thinking of going after Carl Pavano, the sexy pitcher who is not only NOT a virgin, he's experienced with girls and guys!

Was Alyssa Milano Slugger Carl Pavano's Beard?

A former high school classmate of hunky Minnesota Twins pitcher Carl Pavano is under investigation for allegedly trying to extort money and a Range Rover -- "navy ... with tan leather" -- from the ex-New York Yankee in exchange for keeping quiet about a three-year sexual relationship the two had while attending high school together in Southington, Connecticut. I don't know what to make of this. I highly doubt this guy just made up the affair, and it makes me wonder if more men experiment with guys -- and not just "one-offs" -- than many of us believe, but are not necessarily closet cases or even actively bisexual as adults. (Time to rethink that "women are the ones with fluid sexuality, and if a guy goes gay more than once, he's GAY" idea I have?) I had a physical relationship when I was even younger with someone who is married with children now, and I have no reason to think his life is a lie.

Then again, his high-profile relationship with Alyssa Milano could have been a PR stunt to throw people off the scent -- he is a huge fan of the mustache, after all, and he does have experience as a barista -- so who knows? He may well be the highest-paid gay guy in the Major Leagues. (We know they're out there.) Whatever the case may be, one thing's for sure. I've been wanting to play catcher for this one for years!

Deadspin has the full report HERE, via Towleroad.

High-School Confidential? Christian Bedard and Carl Pavano

Who's the Dunce?

I guess love really is blind. How else do you explain how Alyssa Milano dated every hot guy in America -- including sex-tape star Eric Dane, Justin Timberlake, Kirk Cameron, Scott Wolf, Brian Krause, Josh Shambaugh, and Major League sluggers Carl Pavano, Barry Zito and Brad Penny -- yet she ended up marrying this guy?

Page 1 Consider (03/03)

Gerry's Kids: The legal advocacy group that successfully argued for sex-same marriage in Massachusetts intends to file suit here today seeking some federal benefits for spouses in such marriages. The target is the Defense of Marriage Act, passed by Congress in 1996, which prohibits the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriage. That law denies federal benefits, like Social Security survivors’ payments, to spouses in such marriages. The widow of Rep. Gerry Studds is one of the plaintiffs in the suit. (No word on the 17-year-old page Studds nailed back in '83.) (NYT)

Shoplifters of the World Unite: I realize Rex Reed is a bitter old sticky-fingered queen. But this review of Betty Buckley at Feinstein's -- "this sloppy excuse for a cabaret act would be unacceptable with free food coupons, but at these prices one is tempted to call in the Bureau of Consumer Affairs" -- reveals that he's the most hilarious bitter old sticky-fingered queen in the world. (Observer)

Goodbye to DADT? Legislation to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," the ban on gays serving openly in the military was filed Monday in the House of Representatives. (365Gay)

Who's the Whore? Alyssa Milano's new book should be called "Confessions of a Baseball Wench" (she's f**ked several of the hottest players alive, including Barry Zito, Carl Pavano and Brad Penny) and yes, I'm bitter and totally jealous. (Deadspin)

Infinite Sorrow: D.T. Max looks at David Foster Wallace’s struggle to surpass “Infinite Jest.” (New Yorker)

Magic Women: Heart's Ann and Nancy Wilson to be honored by the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publisher. (MarketWire)

'New' Girl on the Block: I know I probably shouldn't like Jane Velez-Mitchell, famed true-crime author, TV pundit, Nancy Grace fill-in, animal activist, recovering alcoholic and vegan. But there's something about this feisty lesbian I find endearing. (NYT)

Heartless: Like there aren't enough reasons to hate Kanye West, now he going around saying: “Can’t we give Chris [Brown] a break?” Yeah. Kinda like the break he gave Rihanna (AH)

Blanket Patrol: OK, this Snuggie thing is really get out of a control. (NYT)

Adoption Rights: Lawyers for a dozen families who are challenging an Arkansas law banning unmarried couples from becoming foster or adoptive parents have asked a judge to deny a state motion to have the lawsuit dismissed. (365Gay)

Vodka Collins: Like being Gary Collins isn't embarrassing enough? (People)

In Full Swing

The much-maligned Major League hottie Carl Pavano is looking good in the Yankees' opening game today ...

Alyssa Milano: Major League Ho

Baseball hunks Carl Pavano, Barry Zito and Brad Penny have all gotten to home base with this one ...

Justin Timberlake and Eric Dane know who the boss is ...

Scott Wolf, Brian Krause, and model Josh Shambaugh were all under a spell ...

You really gotta feel for Jonathan Bower, growing up the shadow of sexpot Samantha Micelli. While Danny Pintauro trolls Manhunt looking for a "date," his TV "stepsister" has been busy fucking every Major League Baseball hottie -- and every Major League hunk in Hollywood. (Lucky bitch.) Talk about a charmed life ... (Source)

More of Alyssa's playmates, including Roswell star Jason Behr, a very young/pre-Jesus Kirk Cameron, Jimmy Frederico and Fred Durst after the jump. --->