Take the P to the B

This isn't too far from what my friend Christopher recently witnessed, which he was convinced had to be performance art.

He writes: 

The crown goes to this pig, who combines the revolting mouth noises of apple eating with the stench of peanut butter in a crowded subway car. Good thing she's got a utensil to scrape out the crunchy PB scum. She actually took out a second apple when she was done with this one but I spared you. The soundtrack is purely to mask intimate subway conversation being held next to her, because non-pigs deserve privacy.

What Have I Done to Deserve This?

My first attempt at my own Train Pig post, for my friend Christopher (of course):

Dusty goes yum-yum-yum with her Wrapido lunch, as the shredded lettuce and cheese rapidly decorate the 1 train floor. "Thank you, Miss Springfield," says the rat getting on at 23rd Street.

I'm in Love With a Train Pig

Of course, as bad as it is that so many people have turned the subway into their kitchens, I can't help but love hunky Charles Sonder, a 24-year-old architect who broke up an increasingly violent tussle between a couple as he calmly ate his cheddar Pringles. (Big boy's gotta eat.) In case you missed it, get ready to fall in love with a train pig:

More about Snackman HERE.

All A-board!

Now do you see why I'm all bent out of shape? Wait till TrainPigs and my friend Christopher see this.

UPDATE: Christopher tells me this onion-chopping exercise was actually a stunt -- so now we love her -- but one that clearly makes the point that people's Train Pig ways are growing increasingly out of control -- as is the rat population on the A train.

The Hunter Gets Captured by the Pig

I'm very disappointed I wasn't on board for this one, although I am completely "on board" with it:

Uploaded by AlphaChronic111 on Apr 10, 2012

There are few surprises more vile than entering a morning subway car to the stench of McDonald's. I guess this time my stealth filming wasn't so stealthy, because after he finished his dead hog and grease sandwich and I stopped the camera, McPiglet started oinking at me. He was ranting about being secretly filmed and trying to get other passengers on his side, though it sounded like, "I forgot my tinfoil helmet and the FBI is reading my mind!" This little trainpig cried wee wee wee all the way uptown so I'm very sorry to have not caught that monologue. (Note that sausage sammy trainpig looks directly at the camera and shakes his head no a few times. Say cheeseburger!)

What a Flake!

I'm sorry, but this is hilarious: 

Via AlphaChronic111: Someone needed to be in disguise this morning to pig out on the 3 train. Jackie O sunglasses, turbo turtleneck, ear buds . . . and a flaky croissant from Pret a Manger to shed all over the floor. Fancy piggy extends his pinkie with each bite but watch what happens around 1:00 when he inhales his butter dough and chokes. It raised the momentary question: does a trainpig deserve the Heimlich?