Page 1 Roundup (07/18)

The Daily News: Unsettling that there is a mentally ill person "running" this country

Belligerent woman bites off host's nose after being refused more alcohol, cigarettes

New York Post: By the end of the day he will have doubled down and said he DOESN'T think Russia meddled

UPDATE: As predicted, or close enough

What 70 in Hollywood looks like

The New York Times: Democrats press GOP for action to punish Trump, but you know nothing will happen

Let Robert Mueller do his job, says a former director of the FBI and CIA

The Wall Street Journal: Hey, Tinkerbell: Get your fairy house up to code or it's coming down 

Come, Come, Nuclear Bomb ...

This should take all those white working-class voters' minds off their economic anxieties. #WWIII

Page 1 Roundup (02/17)

The U.S. has officially jumped the shark. Read HERE.

Press conference shows something is deeply wrong with Trump -- and the country is in danger / Read HERE.

Trump calls press "dishonest," then utters falsehoods galore / Read HERE.

Forget about dabbing -- everyone is doing the "Sslt Bae" / Read HERE.

Gaslighting Too

Trump: Why is the dishonest media saying this is a Muslim ban? This is not a Muslim ban. I never called for a Muslim ban. So dishonest the media. Fake news, fake news.

Trump's Homeland Security secretary, John Kelly, tacitly admitted it was a Muslim ban when he was asked whether he had felt out of the loop as the White House quietly prepared the policy by saying he had know ever since Mr. Trump was a candidate that this was his plan -- and that there was communication with his agency last week. “We knew it was coming from like two years ago when Mr. Trump ran for president,” he said.

And they're all in on it ...

'My Naturally Curly Hair'

Move over, Martina Hingis: Swiss countrywoman -- and certifiable loon -- Patty Schnyder has just launched a singles comeback at the ripe old age of 36. Now separated from her various cult-leader exes, the partnered mother of one is ready to give tennis another go. And if you're wondering whether this article is worth CLICKING ON, just watch the "handshake" with Conchita Martinez and you'll remember why Patty is always best in show!

Is This the C**ksucker Residence?

Gawker calls this clip "‘Unhinged’ Conservative YouTuber Goes On Priceless Drunken Hyper-Rant Over Obama Victory," but I simply call it the funniest thing ever. Stop what you're doing and listen to it NOW. If you're in a hurry, turn it on and periodically make it skip ahead a few minutes. The effect is equally wonderful! Play HERE.