Wasn't Tomorrow 'Wonderful' Again?

I happened to notice my 2014 memoir, "Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful?," is suddenly selling again on Amazon. Thanks to everyone who has bought it -- and for those of you looking for something to read while sheltering-in-place, might I humbly recommend it now? Order HERE.

P.S. Always appreciate a new review on Amazon. The more a book gets, the more play it receives in Jeff Bezos Land! 

Page 1 Roundup (03/19)

The Daily News: Trump signs coronavirus relief bill -- but needs you to do him a favor, though

IRS says you can delay paying taxes amid coronavirus

Jesus Christ. Might be time to add Ciara hubby Russell Wilson to my hottest NFL players list

KIT212: The 50 hottest NFL players of all time

Deadline: Kevin Bacon starts ‘6 Degrees’ campaign to encourage social distancing

CNN: Two members of Congress -- a Republican and a Democrat -- said they’ve tested positive for coronavirus

Los Angeles Times: Facing criticism, ICE will reduce enforcement actions amid coronavirus pandemic

The Hill: Italy reports 475 coronavirus deaths in one day, cases top 35,000

MI: Elizabeth Warren just laid out 8 conditions that companies should accept for government bailout money during the coronavirus crisis 

Boy Culture: LGBTQ & -adjacent books to make isolation less lonely

Variety: ‘Muriel’s Wedding’ turns 25: Why the flawed heroine was ahead of her time

Greg in Hollywood: A star-studded edition of 'The Rosie O’Donnell Show' on Sunday will benefit The Actors Fund

Towleroad: With Italy under quarantine, dolphins return to Venice canals (cute overload!)

This scientist was driven back to China by the Trump administration where he invented a quick coronavirus test

Salon: Bernie needs to step back and let other progressive leaders flourish -- especially women

DailyKos: Why Bernie could have never won in November: His total-total popular vote count was at around 30% when there were like 50 candidates in the race, and it still 30% after everyone else dropped out. In other words, Joe Biden pretty much sucked up all the supporters of other candidates.

The Randy Report: Eurovision song contest 2020 canceled

Queerty: West Hollywood leads Los Angeles county in new coronavirus infections

NewNowNext: 11 queer books we can’t wait to read this spring

New York Post: Coronavirus in NY: Restaurants announce mass layoffs as pandemic puts city in chokehold

Westchester man threatens to blow up coronavirus testing command post, where my pal works!

Dlisted: Open post hosted by Hostess Iced Lattes: Ding Dong flavor

OMG Blog: German 'Big Brother' contestant showers his fat ass

The Washington Post: On Fox News, suddenly a very different tune about the coronavirus

Sinéad O’Connor is still in one piece

The New York Times: Trump signs relief package; China reports zero new local infections

India scrambles to escape a coronavirus crisis. So far, it’s working.

Having to agree with Bret Stephens pains me, but he actually gets the Woody Allen situation right

Coronavirus ravages 7 members of a single family, killing 3

The Wall Street Journal: No Lucky Charms, plenty of okra -- what’s left at the grocery store

America needed coronavirus tests. The government failed.

Call it a layoff a furlough for a cut shift: Americans are losing work

Staff at Kirkland Facility with coronavirus outbreak spread it to other facilities, study finds

Hot Cat of the Day: This little girl didn't sign up for the whole family to be home all day, every day!

Book Shelf: Guy Branum, Jim Hart, David Sedaris and Eric Poole Are Your Summer Reads

'Tis the season for lying on the beach reading -- so here are four (and a half) book suggestions to help you achieve your golden tan.

My Life as a Goddess: A Memoir through (Un) Popular Culture by Guy Branum

Have been a fan of Guy's since his days on the "Chelsea Lately" roundtable. These days I enjoy his periodic essays and Twitter feed -- and can't wait to see if his memoir addresses his rumored fallout with Ms. Handler over her relationship with raging homophobe 50 Cent. (They've clearly dissed and made up!)

Description:

From a young age, Guy Branum always felt as if he were on the outside looking in. Self-taught, introspective, and from a stiflingly boring farm town, he couldn’t relate to his neighbors. While other boys played outside, he stayed indoors reading Greek mythology. And being gay and overweight, he got used to diminishing himself. But little by little, he started learning from all the sad, strange, lonely outcasts in history who had come before him, and he started to feel hope. In this collection of personal essays, Guy talks about finding a sense of belonging at Berkeley -- and stirring up controversy in a newspaper column that led to a run‑in with the Secret Service. He recounts the pitfalls of being typecast as the “Sassy Gay Friend,” and how, after taking a wrong turn in life (i.e. law school), he found stand‑up comedy and artistic freedom. He analyzes society’s calculated deprivation of personhood from fat people, and how, though it’s taken him a while to accept who he is, he has learned that with a little patience and a lot of humor, self-acceptance is possible. Written with Guy’s characteristic blend of wit, guile, and rumination, "My Life as a Goddess" is an unforgettable and deeply moving book by one of today’s most endearing and galvanizing voices in comedy.

Lucky Jim by James Hart

I'm three chapters into this memoir by Carly Simon's follow-up single to James Taylor -- and I must say that if I'm this captivated even before getting to the part where he realizes he's gay and begins "partying and playing," you know it's a must-read.

Description:

"Lucky Jim" is Jim Hart’s memoir, the story of how he survived a violent childhood home, found incredible words inside him, created a love that was both so right and so wrong, and finally found the strength to be his true self. Jim is a master at building relationships. Charming, funny, and a great listener with a guru’s insight, his success in life and business was based on his ability to connect with others, from people recovering in 12-step groups in Upstate New York to those living in the rarified air of Martha’s Vineyard. But after 20+ years sober, one slip-up triggered an active addiction that threatened his relationships with his then-wife, singer-songwriter Carly Simon, his recovery friends, his severely disabled son, and even with himself as he began to confront his sexuality.

Calypso by David Sedaris

Yes, I'm just another gay devotee of Amy Sedaris's brother. But if his latest examines "the bonds of siblings, the trials and comforts of domesticity, the general confusion of the world, his family’s extremely weird sense of humor and his troubled sister's suicide" -- as promised -- then I can't wait to dig in.

Description:

If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with "Calypso." You'd be wrong. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. With "Calypso," Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation toward middle age and mortality. Make no mistake: these stories are very, very funny--it's a book that can make you laugh 'til you snort, the way only family can. Sedaris's powers of observation have never been sharper, and his ability to shock readers into laughter unparalleled. But much of the comedy here is born out of that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future. This is beach reading for people who detest beaches, required reading for those who loathe small talk and love a good tumor joke. "Calypso" is simultaneously Sedaris's darkest and warmest book yet--and it just might be his very best.

Excuse Me While I Slip Into Someone More Comfortable by Eric Poole

Eric Poole's debut memoir, "Where's My Wand?," was truly one of the funniest books I've ever read. (His mother gives Molly a run for her money!) That's reason enough to be excited about his followup:

Description:

In 1977, Eric Poole is a talented high school trumpet player with one working ear, the height-to-weight ratio of a hat rack, a series of annoyingly handsome bullies, and a mother irrationally devoted to Lemon Pledge. But who he wants to be is a star…ANY star. With equal parts imagination, flair, and delusion, Eric proceeds to emulate a series of his favorite celebrities, like Barry Manilow, Halston, Tommy Tune, and Shirley MacLaine, in an effort to become the man he’s meant to be -- that is, anyone but himself. As he moves through his late teens and early twenties in suburban St. Louis, he casts about for an appropriate outlet for his talents. Will he be a trumpet soloist? A triple-threat actor/singer/dancer? A fashion designer in gritty New York City? Striving to become the son who can finally make his parents proud, Eric begins to suspect that discovering his personal and creative identities can only be accomplished by admitting who he really is. Picking up at the end of his first acclaimed memoir, "Where’s My Wand?," Poole’s journey from self-delusion to acceptance is simultaneously hysterical, heartfelt, and inspiring.

Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful: A Memoir by Kenneth M. Walsh

And as always, please consider reading my beach-friendly book of essays. And if you already had, a quick review on Amazon would be much-appreciated!

Description:

In the summer of ’77, while other boys in the Midwest were busy playing Little League and flocking to see "Star Wars," young Kenny Walsh was obsessed with Chris Evert and Woody Allen movies -- and daydreamed about moving to New York City. But when his family headed west from the suburbs of Detroit to Phoenix, it was the first in a series of events that set his Big Apple ambitions on the wrong course. In this funny and moving memoir, Walsh recounts an idiosyncratic childhood that included an attempt to track down a crazed serial killer, a First Amendment battle with his fourth-grade principal, running the local KKK (that’s Kenny’s Kid Kare) babysitting service -- and the mysterious disappearance of his father. Post-college jobs took him to Hollywood and Washington, D.C. -- where trouble followed (porn stars, celebrity doppelgängers, anxiety disorders) -- yet he still didn’t feel at home. Walsh finally arrived in Manhattan the week of his thirty-first birthday … but was tomorrow as wonderful as he dreamed it would be?

Reflecting on 'Tomorrow'

Hey, gang. Just wanted to ask for a possible favor. I know that my book is "old news" by now. But I've been informed that Amazon keeps titles more "in the mix" (promoting, stocking, etc.) if they have lots of reviews. I'm thrilled that anyone has taken the time to read my memoir -- let alone write a review -- but if you read it and have a few minutes to share your thoughts, it would be much appreciated! (Amazon link HERE.)

Thanks for the Mammaries

Read HERE.

Nice of Alan to share this. Always fun seeing anniversary posts from my book, which came out four years ago this week! 

Misty Water-Colored Man-ories

Hard to believe it's been four years since the release of my little memoir. To mark the occasion, I thought it would be fun to put faces on some of the book's male principals. Three of the them were already known by most gay men -- Thomas Roberts, Mike Henson and Ricky Martin -- but many readers have inquired about the other men who led me to where I am today. So without further ado, meet the men of "Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful?" ...

Derek (aka Derwood): My first love and first heartbreak. Derek is happily married in Phoenix these days, working as a funeral director. 

Fred (aka the Asian hiding in the shower). I could only find this "adult" photo of Derek's former coworker at the Ritz-Carlton, on whom I walked in having sex with Derwood in our bedroom. Fred died just before the publication of my book. (UPDATE: Heart attack.) 

David (aka Derek's Fort Lauderdale/St. Thomas fling): This is a current photo of the twink Derek claims was visiting him in the Caribbean for "health" reasons at the exact time I was supposed to be there. (Chaos ensued.) 

Brian (aka the final straw): Brian was the last guy Derwood "took up with" while dating me, which led to my moving to Los Angeles on Cinco de Mayo 1990. I had run into Derek and Brian -- who was a beautiful surfer boy type (pictured here as a grown man) -- at the gay club Preston's on East Thomas Road in Phoenix and nearly lost my mind. I left, which was followed by some attempted spying and stalking outside Derek's apartment in the middle of the night and a stern talking to from the Tempe Police Department -- and my eventual exit from Arizona. Brian died of AIDS-related complications way after the fact.

Sean (aka the body-builder model): I still adore Sean, but he took the least kindly to being written about in my book. I will just say that I hear he's alive and well in Los Angeles today and that makes me very happy.

Rafael (aka the boyfriend I chose the cat over): My starter Latin lover moved back to Colombia when we broke up in 1998 and other than a brief stint in Miami, has remained there (close to family) ever since. We've stayed in touch over the years, with Facebook making it even more regular. 

Reunited at Elmo, circa 2010

Michael (aka Bernard): Longtime readers will remember him as my boyfriend of 12 years. (This might be the first photo of us together, circa 2002.) People were sometimes sad when they heard we'd split, but I've always subscribed to the idea that a relationship doesn't have to last forever to have been worthwhile. I'll always be grateful for our time together.

Bonus man: Damian (aka Luis). We hadn't met yet when the book was written. But he would be the star of any sequel I wrote. xo

If you wanna do more than look, you’ll have to read THE BOOK.

2023 UPDATE:

Came across these while cleaning out an old footlocker -- a fresh reminder of how my college boyfriend was able to string me along for nearly a decade. (I re-forgive myself for being so lovesick!) As my childhood best friend put it, "He'd have totally had an OnlyFans if it had been around then." Indeed.

Playing Doctor: Hotel reunion in WeHo, Halloween 1991

Morning Wood

So handsome. Would be even hotter if he were reading my book!

Words by Walsh

A Very Walsh Christmas, Phoenix mid-aughts

With December fully upon us, may I humbly suggest a book by a Walsh as the perfect gift or stocking stuffer this holiday season?

Any of these classics by my brother Bill Walsh will sure to please:

Order HERE

"Lapsing Into a Comma: A Curmudgeon's Guide to the Many Things That Can Go Wrong in Print -- and How to Avoid Them" 

Order HERE

"The Elephants of Style: A Trunkload of Tips on the Big Issues and Gray Areas of Contemporary American English"

Order HERE

"Yes, I Could Care Less: How to Be a Language Snob Without Being a Jerk"

And, of course, my memoir always makes the perfect gift!

Order HERE

"Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful? A Memoir" 

Happy Bookiversary to 'Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful?'

The date on the calendar rang a bell, then I remembered it has been three years since my book's official pub date. Thanks to everyone who has read it -- and am always excited when new readers come along! Order HERE.

Stocking Stuffers

With the holiday season upon us, thought I'd share a few gift ideas on my shopping list. By the way: If you liked my memoir, would be most appreciative if you could write an Amazon review, which keeps older titles in the mix. xo

"Journal of Grievances" by Geoffrey Dicker

Warning: this book is recommended for immature audiences only. It contains ridiculous amounts of adult language and really twisted situations. Journal of Grievances is a controversially raw and uncensored look into the ups and downs (both in and out of the bedroom) of a struggling, single gay male writer in New York. Told through daily journal entries on his year long approach to 40, the protagonist spills his guts with hilarious wit as he waxes philosophically and analyzes his raunchy sex life, drug addictions, debauched relationships, life encounters, and his frustrations with society while navigating through relationship drama and job-loss as he struggles to find his place in the world. This is Geoffrey Dicker's first novel. He asks that if you are easily offended by profanity or graphic depictions of gay sex to please not buy this book. Alternately, he advises the reader to flip to any page and promises that within 2 sentences, you'll be laughing. Order HERE.

"Skyscraper" by Scott Alexander Hess

Set in modern day Manhattan, Skyscraper is the story of Atticus, a down on his luck architect who stumbles into an S&M bar and meets a sensual young man who changes the direction of his life. What begins as a random pick-up evolves into an intense game of sexual domination as Atticus finds himself wildly invigorated both as a man and an architect. As his new relationship deepens, his creativity simultaneously catches fire and he lands a prime architectural job at his firm designing Mexico City's boldest new high rise tower. Soon his two worlds collide as the novel takes a Kafkian turn and the thin line between reality and fantasy, pleasure and pain threatens to explode. Order HERE.

"Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful? A Memoir" by Kenneth M. Walsh

In the summer of ’77, while other boys in the Midwest were busy playing Little League and flocking to see Star Wars, young Kenny Walsh was obsessed with Chris Evert and Woody Allen movies — and daydreamed about moving to New York City. But when his family headed west from the suburbs of Detroit to Phoenix, it was the first in a series of events that set his Big Apple ambitions on the wrong course. In this funny and moving memoir, Walsh recounts an idiosyncratic childhood that included an attempt to track down a crazed serial killer, a First Amendment battle with his fourth-grade principal, running the local KKK (that’s Kenny’s Kid Kare) babysitting service — and the mysterious disappearance of his father. Post-college jobs took him to Hollywood and Washington, D.C. — where trouble followed (porn stars, celebrity doppelgängers, anxiety disorders) — yet he still didn’t feel at home. Walsh finally arrived in Manhattan the week of his thirty-first birthday … but was tomorrow as wonderful as he dreamed it would be? Order HERE.

"Starf*cker: A MEMEoir" by Matthew Rettenmund

What is a starf*cker? However you define it, Matthew Rettenmund, author of the acclaimed novel Boy Culture and the popular blog BoyCulture.com, readily admits to being one. The ultimate pop-culture enthusiast, he has been obsessed with celebrities ever since he was born. This hilarious, sexy memoir (arranged by memes) documents Rettenmund's affection—in the case of Madonna, it's pure mania—for movie, television, and music personalities. From his years as a star-obsessed gayby to his contradictory careers in porn and as a teen-mag editor (names will be named), Rettenmund details and deconstructs his—and our—passion for celebrity. Order HERE.

"Encyclopedia Madonnica 20" by Matthew Rettenmund

For the Madonna fan who has everything (else)! Order HERE.

"Alaska Thunderfun and the Inner Space Odyssey" by Matthew Rettenmund and Alaska Thunderf*ck

New Year's Eve, 1979: A lonely military outpost is about to have its mind blown by an unexpected guest — a leggy bombshell from the planet Glamtr0n. Crash-landing on earth, the newly named Alaska Thunderfun is immediately captured by military men eager to exploit her body's out-of-this-world special powers. But Alaska doesn't give up without a fight, and soon finds herself on a wild ride to the fabled Hollywood she's read about in her home planet's school books, a journey that will introduce her to a lesbian truck driver, an androgynous fashion model, and America's glamorous, garish 1980s pop culture. Will Alaska succeed in eluding her would-be kidnappers? Will she become a superstar on Earth before she finds her way back home? And what is it about her amazing body that holds the key to survival, and to the happiness of one of her newfound friends? Read this exciting, uplifting adventure to discover the legend of Alaska! Order HERE.

Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon

Regular readers know that I went in drag for Halloween when I was 8, with my mom styling me in a way that resembled our eccentric neighbor Karen. On my family's recent trip to Detroit we were driving past our old house when my stepfather blurted out, "You know why Kenny is the way he is?" You could hear a pin drop in the rental van waiting for where this potential barn-burner was going, when Gary continued: "Because Karen Muethel told him about the birds and the bees." When everyone was done exhaling, it all came flooding back to me, this insane detail that had completely slipped my all-too-cluttered memory back when I was writing my memoir. Why this woman -- who was my Son of Sam gossip partner and delightfully hung beads to separate her dining room and kitchen, a la Rhoda Morgenstern -- thought it was her place to tell a boy in the neighborhood about the facts of life is anyone's guess.

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But then again, this is the woman who thought her daughter Laura was a "genius" because she had figured out how to break a Corelle plate -- they were advertising as being "unbreakable," but I don't think throwing it on the cement patio was what the designers had in mind -- and had to be reprimanded by my mother for TAPING the pacifier in her baby son's mouth. I tracked down her middle child, a second daughter she did nothing to disguise her contempt for as she wanted a girl and a boy, on Facebook not too long ago and found out Karen had died in her late 40s of a massive heart attack. It turned out that this daughter, who I always favored over the prodigal child,  had a bizarre connection to the Oakland County Child Killer case, having married a man whose father was once a suspect. (He also wrote a memoir!) When I thought she and I had become close enough to really open up, she handled my unflattering recollections of her mom's behavior toward her (and her Scotch-taped little brother) graciously, explaining that her mother improved with age. It was at that moment I happened upon this old photo of me as her mom while visiting my parents in Arizona, so I got the nerve to send it to her. I've never heard from her since. Happy Halloween, everyone!

P.S. Apparently I wasn't the only gay blogger who did drag a a boy!