Page 1 Roundup (05/04)

The Daily News: Woman faces 10 charges in Park Slope crash that killed two kids, was told by doctors to stop driving

District superintendent in New Jersey busted for pooping on school grounds on a 'daily basis'

New York Post: Crazy Donald is a liar -- and big and fat

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski sell stunning Brooklyn mansion

Towleroad: ‘Jewel’s Catch One,’ ‘I, Tonya’ and everything else streaming in May on Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, and HBO

NBC News: Man accused of threatening Pulse-style attack caught after mistaken jail release

The New York Times: Pruitt’s coziness with lobbyists includes secretly buying a house with one

The Washington Post: Jason Witten packs muscular frame into dapper slim-fit jacket to announce retirement

Talking Points Memo: W.V. Senate candidate attacks McConnell’s ‘China family’ in new ad (I prefer 'turtle')

The Wall Street Journal: What does the railroad commission of Texas regulate? Not railroads

Smitten With Witten

Everybody loves shirtless-boating fan Jason Witten. More proof HERE.

And boy does his jockstrap look sexy when his pants get DOUSED WITH WATER!

WATCH: Shirtless Jason Witten Doused With Buckets of Ice Water

Watch the Cowboys hunk get his tight end soaked.

Even better video HERE.

Tight End Summit

Owen Daniels and Jason Witten are proof that it's true what they say, practice does make perfect.

Witten It Be Nice?

Happy to see I'm not the only Jason Witten fan -- as evidenced by these boatin' photos sent in by a reader elsewhere ...

Smitten by Witten

Great move by Denizen to get Jason Witten to endorse its jeans. But when you pay a Cowboy to say "Take it from a tight end, they fit just fine," you might wanna show off the moneymaker a bit more.

(Via PR Newswire)

Levi's Denizen Jeans Commercial from Margaret Felix, M.A. on Vimeo.

Save a Horse ...

Ride a Cowboy, instead. Jason Witten needs to quit teasing with the stubble and just go full-on "North Dallas Forty." More of the sexy tight end HERE.