Ran Out of Luck

With thanks to Regi: I'm so smitten with Colts punter Adam Vinatieri -- in the fetching sweater/towel set -- that I barely noticed that the only thing standing between my eyes and quarterback Andrew Luck's hot ass was some guy's not-so-smartphone.

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Supermen: Congrats to Peyton Manning for getting the Super Bowl monkey off his back, winning the MVP award in leading his Indianapolis Colts to Super Bowl XLI victory last night against the Chicago Bears. Do you get the feeling that whoever has hottie Adam Vinatieri kicking for them comes out on top? (AP)

The Main Event: Onetime Hollywood heartthrob Ryan O'Neal was arrested for assaulting his 42-year-old son Griffin over the weekend (that must have ben some barbeque). I don't think this is the first time these two have had a dustup: Didn't the "Paper Moon" star knock the kid's teeth out years ago? Maybe Ryan was finally getting around to discplining his troubled offsspring for killing Francis Ford Coppola's boy Gian-Carlo back in '86, something the courts chose not to do. (AP)

The Gay Divorcee: The nation's first openly gay governor filed for divorce Friday from his wife of seven years. Lawyers for James E. McGreevey filed a two-page document in Union County superior court in Elizabeth, N.J., seeking to dissolve his union with Dina Matos McGreevey. I wonder why he waited so long ... Dina's upcoming book may need an update quick. (AP)

Charmed, I'm Sure: Bishop Alonso Garza, of Piedras Negras, said Friday that Mexico's first same-sex civil union -- which occurred Wednesday in his state's capital of Saltillo -- was ''a disgrace.'' I think buying the happy couple a blender would have been sufficient. (AP)

Friends With Money: Being pals with Tiger Woods pays dividends, just ask tennis star Roger Federer. (AP)

McDelivery: It's twin boys for Patrick Dempsey and wife, Jill Fink. The names are predictably retarded -- Darby Galen and Sullivan Patrick -- but they go great with the couple's other child, daughter Talula. (AP)

Secret Life: Former MTV producer Terrance Dean has written a memoir titled "Hiding in Hip-Hop: Confessions of a Down Low Brother in the Entertainment Industry," which will chronicle "the author's life as a closeted homosexual working in the film and music industry and his relationships with other closeted homosexuals -- film stars, rap artists, and music producers," according to RadarOnline.com. (Advocate)