Page 1 Consider (08/16)

Sharp-Dressed Man: Look who ranks high on Esquire's list of the Best Dressed Men. It seems the judges can't quit you either, Jakey. (ShowBuzz)

48 Candles: Happy birthday to the Judy Garland of our generation, Miss Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn Ritchie. (Wikipedia)

This Head Needs Work: "Prince Albert pride for Canadian gay teens" (PinkNews)

Family Matters: I admire Michael Schiavo for fighting back. What the GOP did to him last year bordered on criminal. (NYT)

Project Runaways: Two boys in Meade, Kansas, have confessed to stealing a rainbow flag from a local hotel. The police were quick to point out that it wasn't a hate crime -- the boys wanted the material to make a costume for an upcoming school play. (OutQ)

Let's Hear It for the Planet: To all you naysayers who didn't believe Pluto was a real planet I say suck on this ... (WP)

Now That's Talent: Tammy Duckworth, an active-duty major in the Army National Guard who is the Democratic candidate for Illinois's sixth congressional district, may have lost both legs fighting for the U.S., but she's still agile enough to flip-flop on repealing "don't ask, don't tell." (Advocate)

Bring on the DUIs: Laura Bush is scheduled to headline three events for Republican candidates in Kentucky, Ohio and West Virginia today, capping a stretch of five fundraisers this week for the former Laura Lane Welch (or was Laura Lane the name of the street she killed that ex-boyfriend on back in '63? I always get confused). The frequent use of the first lady by Republican candidates as a fundraising draw underscores the ferocious battle they face to retain control of Congress, and also reflects the standing of a woman whose popularity has endured even as public antipathy toward her husband has grown. (WP)

White Supremacy: Tired of having a golden smile? Check out this nice roundup on the latest tooth-whitening procedures. (WP)

His Parents Must Be Proud: Kevin Holder was arrested for the 226th time on Sunday, yet he's only No. 40 on Lincoln, Nebraska's most-arrested list. (AP)

Putting the GRAAAAND! in GOP: Several Republican California lawmakers stormed off the assembly floor in the state capitol on Monday during a ceremony to honor the achievements of six high-profile gay Californians. And I thought the gays were the drama queens. (Advocate)

Dial T for Terror: Is owning 1,000 cell phones terrorism? It is if you have to sit next to the guy at Starbucks. (CBS)

Killer Defense Team: That wife-of-a-preacherman Mary Winkler must have God on her side in this case: When has someone charged in a capital murder case ever gotten out on bail before? (AP)