Page 1 Roundup (08/29)

The Daily News: EMT son of FDNY chief still on job after ignoring 911 calls and 3 arrests for posing as cop

Unlike his masturbation routine, I'm pretty sure no one is forcing anyone to watch Louis C.K. perform stand-up

Instagram: Hot Jew alert

New York Post: Queen of Soul makes regal entrance

Bombshell suit alleges Columbia dean coerced student into sex

This horror scene sounds like the sequel to 'He Knows You're Alone'

The Randy Report: Trump administration to pay $4.7 billion to farmers for trade war started by Donald

The New York Times: Trump warned evangelical leaders Monday night that Democrats “will overturn everything that we’ve done and they’ll do it quickly and violently” if Republicans lose control of Congress in the midterm elections(!)

Joe Arpaio’s loss in Arizona’s Senate Republican primary is a fitting end to the public life of a truly sadistic man

The Washington Post: If Trump is really toast, why are all of the candidates he endorses winning so handily?

The Wall Street Journal: Nothing unites a divided country like an escaped 18-foot snake in the suburbs

Singles tire of swiping and look to slow down dating: 'There is something new about the intensity with which these apps wear people out'

Morning Wood

"Your new college semester has started -- and you want to make a good first impression on your teacher." But how does he compare WITH HIM?

Six Pack, Some the Richer

Watch Diego Scwartzman show off his abs to Robert Farah on Instagram HERE before it disappears!

Why am I not surprised the frisky Colombian wanted to be in the tub next to the pocket-size Argentine?

Vote for Pedro Beto

While I'm getting tired of these Tuesday night moral victories -- only losing by 3 points in a district Trump won by 30 still doesn't give us any power whatsoever -- perhaps a star could at least be born from the race between Beto O'Rouke and Ted Cruz. (God knows we could use a fresh face.) And if O'Rourke actually pulls this upset off, so much the better!

Remains of the Day (08/28)

BBC: Andy Murray on his U.S. Open return, and fueling on sushi, bacon and porridge

Dlisted: Like a true diva, Aretha Franklin arrived at her public viewing in a golden casket

Towleroad: Nasty fight breaks out between shirtless hunks at gay circuit party in Mykonos

The Washington Post: Big Republican Brother wants to be watching

Baseline: Lacoste puts on tennis clinic in Central Park

Boy Culture: A review of Scott Thompson's "Buddy Cole Monologues" show at Joe's Pub

The Daily News: I'm guessing it happened around the same time he saw Muslims celebrating in Jersey City after the Twin Towers came down

The New York Times: Letter accusing pope leaves U.S. Catholics in conflict

BosGuy: He sure packs a pair of briefs

TV Line: Three more "Roseanne" alums officially join ABC spinoff

Greg in Hollywood: Andrew Rannells is writing a memoir

Outsports: Openly gay (and awfully cute) college football player Jake Bain happy being just one of the guys

USA Today: I wonder why Trump's rivals have long thought the National Enquirer supported him

Washington Blade: John McCain leaves complicated legacy on LGBT rights

Deep Dish: Bitchin' car, bitchin' bod and a red Speedo to boot

NewNowNext: Trailer for Yen Tan's "1985" renders the AIDS crisis in black and white

Gay Almanac: Born on this day: Nancy Kulp, the butch Miss Jane Hathaway on "The Beverly Hillbillies" 

OMG Blog: Now two guys from "Ex on the Beach Norway" stripped naked

Hot Cat of the Day: Can't a kitty take some time off to find himself without everyone freaking out?

Tennis Tuesday

Although Simone Bolelli was playing an American in the qualifying for the United States Open, something about his red, white and blue shorts had me feeling strangely pro-Italy. More HERE.