Page 1 Consider (06/01)

The King and Queen Are Dead: Defending champs Rafael Nadal and Ana Ivanovic were both knocked out of the French Open over the weekend. Ivanovic was no surprise (she's been a head case ever since winning here last June). But the elimination of Nadal -- who was undefeated on the Paris dirt -- is being called one of the biggest upsets of all time. (His dramatic past with Robin Soderling made it all the more scandalous. Even though Nadal comes across as completely nice, polite and modest, for some reason he still hasn't won me over. His many quirks -- including the ass-picking Soderling poked fun at during their five-day battle at the 2007 Wimbledon -- rub me (and apparently quite a few other people) the wrong way.) While this is clearly Roger Federer's greatest chance ever to finally win the elusive title, I can't help but think what a wreck he must be now that he's the favorite. (Straight Sets)

The Dark Side of Oprah: It's hard not to "love" Oprah Winfrey. She's smart and fun and does a lot of good things with her fortune. But I've always had ambivalent feelings about her -- and I think Newsweek has finally figured out why. (Newsweek)

Sexy Nurse Costume Sold Separately: How do you solve a global shortage of nurses? The Czech Republic has figured out how -- give the gals free breast implants! "We were always taught that if a nurse is nice, intelligent, loves her work and looks attractive, then patients will recover faster," said one refurbished nurse. (NYT)

Wild About Harry: Prince Harry left his Nazi uniform back home and followed in his mother's footsteps sweeping New York off its feet this week, doing good wherever he went. (Princess Diana was probably rolling over in her grave when she realized Madonna had come out to "watch" her younger boy play polo on Governors Island over the weekend.) (Mirror)

Being Petty: What's more embarrassing, being arrested for striking a skateboarder while you're driving drunk or being identified as the "Point Break" actress? (AP)

Pro Death Activist: Yet another "pro" life nut murders someone -- this time in a crowded church. (NYT)

MTV Movie Awards: When Bruno met Eminem. (AP)

Charlize in the Middle: Bombshell Charlize Theron joined forces with the Courage Campaign and headed for central California Saturday morning to take part in Meet in the Middle, the activist weekend designed to bring together LGBTs and their allies and align the fight for gay rights as it moved forward. (Advocate)

German Engineering: Soccer stud Michael Ballack -- aka Mr. Bulge -- was looking awfully good at Chelsea's post-match party. (Mirror)