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Wet Dreams: I love this blogger for remembering how hot Daniel Lapaine was in "Muriel's Wedding." (MyNewPlaidPants)

Foul Play: In his new autobiography, Chevy Chase says he will never forgive his mother and step-dad for the tortuous beatings he received as a child, a time he said he lived in "deathly fear" of his mentally-ill mother, Cathalene (who deserves to be beaten herself for spelling her name that way), and stepfather because they subjected him to regular psychological torture: "I'll never forgive them. At their graves I didn't. It was too hard for me. You would think a grown man could shake it off, as the coffin was being lowered, to say, 'I forgive you.' I don't forgive." I know how he feels. I still haven't forgiven him for his 1993 talk show, "The Chevy Chase Show." (Reuters)

One for the Ages: Two of the oldest people in the United States met Saturday. A relative drove 113-year-old Bertha Fry of Muncie to a Shelbyville nursing home to visit Edna Parker, who celebrated her 114th birthday Friday. The conversation went something like this: "Happy birthday!" Fry said. "WHAT????" Parker replied. "Happy birthday, dear!" "HUH?????" a confused Parker screamed back. (AP)

Every Day Is a Whining Rove: Eco-queen Laurie David claims Karl Rove freaked out when she tried to talk to him about global warming at the White House Correspondents Dinner, and when Sheryl Crow tried to calm him down by touching him on the arm he screamed, "Don't touch me!" Mrs. Larry David explains: "I went over to him and said, I urge you to take a new look at global warming. He went zero to 100 with me," David said. "I've never had anyone be so rude." Rove's view was: "She came over to insult me and she succeeded." Things got so hot, according to the Washington Post, that Crow tried to defuse the situation but wound up laying into Rove. "You work for me," she told the presidential adviser, according to bystanders. "No," was his response. "I work for the American people." To which Crow replied: "Yes, and I'm an American citizen." (Reuters)/li>

L.A. Confidential: Actress Kim Basinger has hired a bodyguard for her 11-year-old daughter after a voice-mail tirade by her father, actor Alec Baldwin, was made public last week. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just get her daughter a new cell phone? (Reuters)

Trimming the Fat: Overweight workers cost their bosses more in injury claims than their lean colleagues, suggests a study that found the heaviest employees had twice the rate of workers' compensation claims as their fit co-workers. (AP)