Unluck of the Draw

It was more than a bit unlucky for Robby Ginepri -- fresh off his first tournament victory in four years last week in Indianapolis -- that he would draw No. 8 seed Marat Safin in the first round in Los Angeles. It was a close one, but the Russian prevailed, 3-6, 6-3, 6-4. Lucky for me, I have visions of these two dancing in my head for the remainder of the day. ...

My Friends Call Me LC

We can only hope every real-life Miles from "Sideways" doesn't see this gossip item in today's Gatecrasher as it would surely kill them. Lest anyone think reality TV star Lauren Conrad didn't earn her three-book publishing deal, the Orange County native assures us the writing is all hers.

"I wrote my book, and I don't really feel the need to defend it. I've been writing forever. I have never written anything professionally before, so this was a big step for me. [Writing] was always my best subject in school, and it's something I've always loved to do.”

Face-to-Face With Joan Rivers

PageSix leaked a few of the highlights from the upcoming Joan Rivers roast, and as predicted, we are not going to be disappointed. Joan Rivers has had endless plastic surgeries, and her fellow comics didn't let her forget it during a Comedy Central roast in LA the other night, The Post's Mandy Stadtmiller reports. "You're like Robo-Cop, you're half-human and nobody's given a [bleep] about you since 1986," Greg Giraldo told Rivers. Jeffrey Ross continued: "Joan had a difficult choice to make, whether to do this roast or be the fifth celebrity to die this month . . . Who's your plastic surgeon? Tim Burton? Oh my God, Kanye's mom had a better plastic surgeon." And quipped Brad Garrett, "Joan has [bleep]ed more old Jews than Bernie Madoff." And if that doesn't make you want to watch, this "tirade" will:

 

Inbox

I got an e-mail this afternoon from a friend who wanted to make sure I was doing OK after my back "incident." He recommended a "kinda cute" doctor at the Spine Institute of New York. But it was the second part of the message that really lifted my spirits:

In totally unrelated news -- though it may ease your pain -- look at this homegrown US terrorist. He's kind of hillbilly-hot (link):

(I love the fact that he's 39 and has 2 sons, aged 22 and 20. I guess they ran out of condoms on prom night.)

Big in Japan

The strapping American Channing Tatum cleans up nicely at the Tokyo premiere of "GI Joe."

Psychic Friends (in High Places) Network

I would have loved to have crashed Sunday's live auction of the estate of the late "celebrity psychic" Jeane Dixon down in Washington. If the walls of her Dupont Circle townhouse could talk ... or can they?