Page 1 Consider (01/23)

Fish Out of Water: In Melbourne, Andy Roddick made quick work of his Mardy Fish, crushing his friend 6-2, 6-2, 6-2 in a victory that took less than an hour and a half. A matchup with Roger Federer in the semis is all but certain now. (ABC)

Dear Amy: Read the best advice column response ever here. (Ann Landers' balls were never this big.)

Stick Up for Devlin: Lawyers for Mo. kidnapping suspect Michael J. Devlin are asking for a gag order to bar the New York Post and anyone else from reporting information from two jailhouse interviews their client granted to a freelance reporter over the weekend, claiming their client was duped into talking. This story just grows more bizarre every day. (STLToday)

Making Amends: Embattled "Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington makes good with GLAAD president Neil Giuliano. "Isaiah understands that he is going to be judged by more than just his apology," said Giuliano. "We welcome the opportunity to work with him in the coming months to help improve the cultural climate faced by LGBT people across this country." Sounds like things are on the road to recovery at the ABC hit, although the NY Times is reporting that disciplinary action is imminent. (E!)

McIrony: Wouldn't you know it, "Grey's Anatomy" leads this year's GLAAD awards. (see above) (AP)

Missing Persons: MySpace announced that it will begin to distribute Amber alerts. Oh, great. Watch all of those wannabe rocks stars pretend to "go missing" now ... although I guess it makes sense since most missing children are meeting their abductors on the popular social networking site in the first place. (AP)

Something in Common: When missing youth Shawn Hornbeck was reunited with his family recently, I mentioned that given what I know about a similar case in the 1980s, the hard part was still ahead for him and his family. Now Newsweek has interviewed the sister of Steven Stayner, who was held captive by a convicted pedophile from 1972 to 1980. She spells out exactly what her family went through after the joy of the family reunion wore off. For those who don't remember, Stayner's own father shunned him after finding out his son had been sexually abused by a man, and Steven's life grew increasingly erratic eventually ending in motorcycle accident. On top of all this, Stayner's brother, Cary, wound up becoming a serial killer. (Good times.) (Newsweek)

The Six Million Dollar Cat: Given Jamie Sommers bonus ear, I would have thought these bionic cats would have had kickass hearing, not vision. (AP)

The Big Cahoona: If anyone besides Leah was really into yesterday's Morning Woody, Todd Cahoon, I've added a couple of new pictures to his jump page here.

Vegas Heat: If you like looking at Josh Duhamel in a bathing suit as much as I do, click here.

Hairy Matchup: Who do you like in the Super Bowl, the Colts or the Bears? (Cup of Joe via Queerty)

Morning Wood: Todd Cahoon

As a result of this post, I got the following e-mail from my friend Jay yesterday:

I have sat through (painfully I might add) three episodes of "Watch Over Me" and there has not been one mention or hint of a homo affair for Casper Van Dien. However, this Todd Cahoon is hot, hot, hot. You should take a look at him. He has a great jaw and chin. The writing is terrible -- is that what makes it a telenovela?

Jay: yes, bad writing and a shoestring budget are the principal requirements ... oh, and lots of hot bodies. There's very little about Mr. Cahoon on the Internet, but what I was able to dig up definitely supports your claims very nicely ...

More photos after the jump. --->

See some of our handsome leading man here in the opening credits from "Watch Over Me" here.

Page 1 Consider (01/22)

No (Big) Roommates, Please: This "Apt. Wanted" ad seems reasonable enough to me, but I wonder if it falls within the Mrs. Murphy exception. (NYT)

Queen for a Day: Anyone else loving this "Grace Kelly" song by the reincarnation of Freddie Mercury, Mika? (YouTube)

Grounded for Life: The N.Y. Post's coverage of the "creep" Mo. kidnapper just keeps getting better: Michael Devlin had his toes amputated because of diabetes, he's too scared and embarrassed to tell his parents about what he did, and he declined to answer if he's ever had a girlfriend but said he doesn't care about romantic relationships. "I was never really interested in that," he said. Asked if he was attracted to women, Devlin said, "I can't talk about that because it has to do with the case." Yeah, right. If not liking women is the crime, then the Chelsea boys better watch out for the men in blue. (NYP)

Williams Rising: Did you catch Serena Williams' amazing victory over Jelena Jankovic the other night at the Australian Open? Rusty and not in peak form? No worries, she was on fire. (NYT)

Sprinkled With Goldwater? A dick legislator from my hometown of Mesa, Ariz., who proposed a same-sex marriage ban announced that he will not follow through with the bill this session (huh?!). It seems State Rep. Russell Pearce decided on Wednesday against pushing the bill, which would amend the state's constitution to restrict marriage to heterosexual couples. There was no reason given for his about-face on the measure, but you may recall that in November's election Arizona became the first state to defeat an anti-same-sex marriage ballot initiative. Baby steps, Kenny. Baby steps. (AZ Republic)

Colbert Report Card: I guess I'm not the only one who thought the Stephen Colbert v. Bill O'Reilly bit fell totally flat, but I thought everyone knew it was better to talk shit about people behind their backs. (BG)

Hey, 19: Planning to go drinking in Windsor, Ontario, kiddies? Better dust off your passport. (NYT)

Tommy Haas: Ab Fab

So many great matches this weekend at the Australian Open. The fifth set of Andy Roddick vs. Mario Ancic was some of the highest quality tennis I've seen in years, and Fernando Gonzalez was impeccable against a spirited James Blake. And while I still can't stop thinking about the Canadian abs on Frank Dancevic, it was Tommy Haas' four-set victory over David Nalbandian that produced the tournament's finest moment yet, captured above.

I Can't Believe It's Not Fabio

First I thought Wimbledon champ Amelie Mauresmo's doppleganger was "Apocalypto" star Rudy Youngblood. Now I've had a (romantic) change of heart ...

Kathy Griffin Does Carnegie Hall

Even though we were seated in a balcony where we could only see the top of Kathy's head, she still made us laugh our asses off. Love you, Kath!